Ultimates 3 #1-5 discussion [Loeb/Madureira] [spoilers]

Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Jesus, now Loeb's passing off cliched-in-one-go, over-the-top movie lines. Whats sad is Terminator was probably playing in the background and he subconciously threw that line in. God, I hope it wasn't a conscious, thought-out decision...but then again, nothing in Ultimates 3 seems that way, so it makes sense given the overall ridiculous nature of this title.

Im pretty sure they have editors who read these things before they print it. If nobody went up to Loeb and said 'hey man, you realise you are quoting a movie line every ******* comicbook reader knows, right?' someone isnt doing their job.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Im pretty sure they have editors who read these things before they print it. If nobody went up to Loeb and said 'hey man, you realise you are quoting a movie line every ******* comicbook reader knows, right?' someone isnt doing their job.


In theory, I agree wholeheartedly. In practice, either no such job exists, OR (more likely) Loeb has been given free reign. Obviously, there exists no one who likes the line 'Come with me if you want to live' in this context. We've established that Loeb does not know that. The odds of several OTHER people not knowing that AND those people being hired as editors are VERY low - zero. Therefore, Loeb has been given free reign.

I'm sorry.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

In theory, I agree wholeheartedly. In practice, either no such job exists, OR (more likely) Loeb has been given free reign. Obviously, there exists no one who likes the line 'Come with me if you want to live' in this context. We've established that Loeb does not know that. The odds of several OTHER people not knowing that AND those people being hired as editors are VERY low - zero. Therefore, Loeb has been given free reign.

I'm sorry.

Im gonna have to admit that I havent got a clue how this works at Marvel. I just assumed the people who are listed under the 'editor' line at the start of an issue are editors in the traditional way; they point out flaws in the writing and the art. (does it normally work like that?).

I've never read anything by Loeb that he didnt win prizes for. How can the guy who has written The Long Halloween also write this!?
 
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Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Loeb is a 'big name', and with being a friend of Joe Q. and what-have-you, I'm sure that a lot of editors do notice things, but likely say nothing due to fear of getting ignored or yelled at because of who Loeb is.'


Plus they're also having beard contests to notice anything, too. Seriously. There's a video somewhere on Marvel.com about this.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Really? When was that? I can't remember.

Thats how I remembered it. I'm still wondering about the female Unus Gemini is talking about.
Hmmmmm, I thought it was a girl, must've been Bachalo's art. (normally I like Bachalo's art, but In Ultimate War it was kinda incomprehensible)

Is Black Panther...

Ronan?
The Accuser?
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Im gonna have to admit that I havent got a clue how this works at Marvel. I just assumed the people who are listed under the 'editor' line at the start of an issue are editors in the traditional way; they point out flaws in the writing and the art. (does it normally work like that?).

I was being facetious, BUT - I can't imagine this piece of work having survived a rigorous process like that. I haven't read his earlier stuff. Now, I of course won't. This really is a caricature of a comic.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Isn't Loeb pretty high up in the food chain at marvel... he's certainly more then just "writer" perhaps he is allowed to do what he wants due to an extreme amount of ***-kissing is Ralph Machio editing anything else really high profile? maybe he's looking to... I don't know.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Has it been revealed yet who Black Panther is?

This is one of the most unintentionally hilarious posts we've had in a long time.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

OK here's the plan...

We all meet up somewhere outside of New York City. Where, I'm not sure, because the closest I've ever been to New York City is Detroit. (Actually, I've been IN NYC but it was in a waiting room at JFK airport on a layover to Shannon, Ireland). Perhaps one of you northeastern types can give me some advice on a good meet-up spot.

Moving right along...

We storm the offices of Marvel Entertainment in full tactical gear, which I'm appointing VVD to procure through his connections in the military. You can do that, right VVD? That's how it always works in the movies: "Yeah I know this guy who used to be in the service, he can get us some RPGs and stuff". Houde, since you're a "scientist" I will give you the duty of looking smart with some gadgets that nobody will understand, but will perhaps keep DHS from coming at us too soon.

Next order of business... I'm going to strap some knives to my hands and bust through the front door, ripping the building apart until I get to Loeb's office. We're going to kidnap Loeb and remove him from the premesis (WHO'S DRIVING THE VAN!?) and then we're going to brainwash him. Brainwash him for what? Well I'm glad you asked.

We're going to brainwash him to write better comics. Seriously. I'm tired of this garbage and it seems like they have Loeb lined-up to write ever major comic book on the Marvel Comics roster. This is simply unacceptable. That's like giving Marvel Comics over to Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee (oh wait).

If the brainwashing doesn't take, we'll re-kidnap him and re-brainwash him. Except that Operation: Loebwasher Part Deux will end with Loeb believing he is the janitor for Nathan's.

OK LET'S GO!
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

Has it been revealed yet who Black Panther is?

We all know Loeb's a mystery writer at heart. He likes hiding clues throughout all of his stories. So, anyone with a careful and discriminating eye can already guess: the shot of BP jerking off behind a shrub, the blatant references to infamous Ahnald lines.

Black Panther is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Ultimates v3. #5 - the big revelation:
Jan: Jesus Christ, Panther. What's with the constant tent in your spandex?
Panther: Have you noticed how big my muscles are? Do you understand the rush? I am getting the feeling of coming in the gym, I am getting the feeling of coming at home, I am getting the feeling of coming doing superheroics in front of 5,000 people. So I am coming day and night! Aahh! I am in heaven!
 
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Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

OK here's the plan...

We all meet up somewhere outside of New York City. Where, I'm not sure, because the closest I've ever been to New York City is Detroit. (Actually, I've been IN NYC but it was in a waiting room at JFK airport on a layover to Shannon, Ireland). Perhaps one of you northeastern types can give me some advice on a good meet-up spot.

Moving right along...

We storm the offices of Marvel Entertainment in full tactical gear, which I'm appointing VVD to procure through his connections in the military. You can do that, right VVD? That's how it always works in the movies: "Yeah I know this guy who used to be in the service, he can get us some RPGs and stuff". Houde, since you're a "scientist" I will give you the duty of looking smart with some gadgets that nobody will understand, but will perhaps keep DHS from coming at us too soon.

Next order of business... I'm going to strap some knives to my hands and bust through the front door, ripping the building apart until I get to Loeb's office. We're going to kidnap Loeb and remove him from the premesis (WHO'S DRIVING THE VAN!?) and then we're going to brainwash him. Brainwash him for what? Well I'm glad you asked.

We're going to brainwash him to write better comics. Seriously. I'm tired of this garbage and it seems like they have Loeb lined-up to write ever major comic book on the Marvel Comics roster. This is simply unacceptable. That's like giving Marvel Comics over to Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee (oh wait).

If the brainwashing doesn't take, we'll re-kidnap him and re-brainwash him. Except that Operation: Loebwasher Part Deux will end with Loeb believing he is the janitor for Nathan's.

OK LET'S GO!


I think I should drive the van since I drive boxed trucks for a living. I am amazing.
 
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Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

OK here's the plan...

We all meet up somewhere outside of New York City. Where, I'm not sure, because the closest I've ever been to New York City is Detroit. (Actually, I've been IN NYC but it was in a waiting room at JFK airport on a layover to Shannon, Ireland). Perhaps one of you northeastern types can give me some advice on a good meet-up spot.

Moving right along...

We storm the offices of Marvel Entertainment in full tactical gear, which I'm appointing VVD to procure through his connections in the military. You can do that, right VVD? That's how it always works in the movies: "Yeah I know this guy who used to be in the service, he can get us some RPGs and stuff". Houde, since you're a "scientist" I will give you the duty of looking smart with some gadgets that nobody will understand, but will perhaps keep DHS from coming at us too soon.

Next order of business... I'm going to strap some knives to my hands and bust through the front door, ripping the building apart until I get to Loeb's office. We're going to kidnap Loeb and remove him from the premesis (WHO'S DRIVING THE VAN!?) and then we're going to brainwash him. Brainwash him for what? Well I'm glad you asked.

We're going to brainwash him to write better comics. Seriously. I'm tired of this garbage and it seems like they have Loeb lined-up to write ever major comic book on the Marvel Comics roster. This is simply unacceptable. That's like giving Marvel Comics over to Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee (oh wait).

If the brainwashing doesn't take, we'll re-kidnap him and re-brainwash him. Except that Operation: Loebwasher Part Deux will end with Loeb believing he is the janitor for Nathan's.

OK LET'S GO!

I'll be in charge of covering our tracks by yelling "DC RULZ!" and throwing around issues of Final Crisis. By the time Marvel realizes they've been Red Herringed the trail will colder than every woman TOG's ever talked to.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

I can get a U-Haul

I used to work at one, they're really easy to steal

and it would have a convieniently large brainwashing/headquarters area, complete with a hand dolley and moving blankets

and we can spray paint C's after all the U's in U-Haul, to make it a UC-Haul
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

I can easily brainwash him.

I can dramatically alter anyone's perceptions and beliefs with just a drop of the pants.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

I can easily brainwash him.

I can dramatically alter anyone's perceptions and beliefs with just a drop of the pants.

Moony
: You must have very big pee-anis!
Loeb: Excuse me?!
Moony: Nothing. We are very simple people. With very small penis. We cannot achieve much with so small penis. But you! Wow! Penis so big! SOOO big penis!
Loeb: Well, it certainly was nice meeting you folk, I will go fix my comic now. Bye bye.
Moony: Good-bye. Thank you for stopping by, with your gargantuan penis.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

In that case, you better get ourchair to do it.
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

I'm afraid brainwashing won't work. Having his brain washed won't make his brain any more effective. So here's how it will go.

TGO will call in his favor from Kristen Kreuk to distract the Marvel employees while the plan goes underway.

The strike team will consist of the most vicious and lunatic members on the forum: moonmaster, Willverine (with Danny Trejo-style blades strapped to his chest. action figure coming soon), VVD, and Proj. The wheelman, of course, will be the crazy truck driver who almost killed Kristen Kreuk. Our strike team will secure Loeb while ourchair, under the cover of the chaos, will sneak into the editorial office and upload his extensive collection of lolita porn to Joe Quesadilla's computer.

Once Loeb has been secured at Gemini's secret warehouse, Houde will use his awesome science skills to literally take Loeb's FACE/OFF, switching it with mine, thereby leaving Loeb with a hilarious pandaface, and leaving me as UC's Manchurian Candidate. Quesadilla will be fired in a malestrom of shame, and I'll use the magnificent Loeb muscle to put E in charge, who will subsequently replace the full Marvel staff with UC members. We'll leave Mole with Mary-Jane Loves Spider-Man. Willverine can write All-Star The ******* Daredevil. Gammaman can take the reins of Ultimates v.3 and Ultimatum. I mean, it can't be worse than what they're feeding us now.

A secret invasion. It's just crazy enough to work!
 
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