Ultimates 3 #1-5 discussion [Loeb/Madureira] [spoilers]

Re: Ultimates 3 #4 discussion [spoilers]

Ice said:
I wasn't told this recently. I was told the info before it was made public. I've known about this for a good few years. :)
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Ice said:
From some inside sources :)shifty:), I was told after a year and half, Mad had just gotten into the 2nd issue.
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That would have made it like, one year ago, tops, which is about the time that Cup O' Joe came out anyway.

Why do you lie, Frank? You'll only hurt yourself.
 
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Re: Ultimates 3 #4 discussion [spoilers]

DIrishB said:
Daymn! Ice comes back with the hardcore dress-down!



Ah, forget it.
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:lol:

That's okay. I'd say "Get back on topic"...but I have to wait until my mid-life crisis happens to say that because that's when we'll see this issue finally come out!
 
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Re: Ultimates 3 #4 discussion [spoilers]

Sorry for being the random lurker with information on here guys.

According to the latest Diamond shipping updates:

Ultimates 3 #4, JAN08 2127/ JAN08 8333, 3/12/2008, 6/11/2008
Ultimates 3 #5, FEB08 2204, 4/30/2008, 8/6/2008

I wish Marvel would just be straight and let the fans know why there's a delay. Not that I think there's a ton of people out there clamoring for the next issue of this mediocre book. I mean, if the delay is related to getting the rest of the ultimate books in place for Ultimatum, then just come out and say it. This book has suffered enough delays over the past three years, all for reasons that are half-explained or contradictory. It really tests the patience of its readers, to put it mildly.
 
Re: Ultimates 3 #4 discussion [spoilers]

the_devastator_2099 said:
Sorry for being the random lurker with information on here guys.

According to the latest Diamond shipping updates:

Ultimates 3 #4, JAN08 2127/ JAN08 8333, 3/12/2008, 6/11/2008
Ultimates 3 #5, FEB08 2204, 4/30/2008, 8/6/2008

I wish Marvel would just be straight and let the fans know why there's a delay. Not that I think there's a ton of people out there clamoring for the next issue of this mediocre book. I mean, if the delay is related to getting the rest of the ultimate books in place for Ultimatum, then just come out and say it. This book has suffered enough delays over the past three years, all for reasons that are half-explained or contradictory. It really tests the patience of its readers, to put it mildly.
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I found those dates elsewhere, so kudos on posting them.

And well stated, strong points.
 
Re: Ultimates 3 #4 discussion [spoilers]

So, what if Ultimate Black Panther were Ultimate Isaiah Bradley?

That might be cool, right?
 
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Re: Ultimates 3 #1 spoiler/discussion

McCheese said:
This was awful. I read it last Wednesday and I decided not to comment at that point because I figured that it couldn't possibly be as bad as my first reaction was. I blamed it on reading much better stuff before and after it and said the comparison wasn't fair. Last Wednesday I read Avengers: The Initiative Annual #1, Uncanny X-Men #493, New X-Men Vol 4: Riot at Xaviers, and Ex Machina Vol 1: The First Hundred Days. So it would be understandable to fall below those standards. So I waited a few days and read it again. It still sucks. I have a complaint about every single character in this issue. Every one of them. It's simply astounding. Let's start with my biggest complaint...

Hawkeye - What the hell? He is so immensely out of character that I could barely believe my eyes. Ultimates 2 #12 Wasp and Captain America enter a room prepared for a fight only to find Hawkeye standing in a room full of enemy corpses. He says, "Relax. Room's secure." Wasp runs up to hug him and says, "We all thought you were dead..." His response is simply "No such luck, honey." Seven words and room full of dead guys is all Millar needed to give the reader a real look at what a professional does when his family has been killed. He doesn't put a Bullseye on his head, he doesn't point a gun at Jan for no reason, and he doesn't start cracking wise on and off the battlefield. He acts like a professional killer and he does his job. Loeb should really go back and read the first 2 volumes of this series to see what a good character Hawkeye used to be. It's a shame that I must now use past tense in that sentence.

Wasp - Is it just bad art or is she no longer Asian? I honestly don't know at this point. Who voted her for leader and why? She's a scientist whose biggest role in any fight thus far was using Hank's serum to grow big in the last big battle. By doing so she actually served a purpose for the length of one fight, but let's take a look at the rest of her track record shall we? She flashed her cans at the Hulk, she got hospitalized by Hank, she was captured and bottled by an alien Nazi, and she was swallowed by Thor. That doesn't exactly scream leadership material to me. Especially with established veterans on the team such as Cap and Hawkeye. And I mean the real Hawkeye, not Loeb's Hawkeye.

Thor - His Olde Timey speak is annoying and stupid, but I can live with it if there is a good reason that he goes from being able to speak normally to adding 'st at the end of words. The problem is that there is no reason that would make any sort of sense or be in the least bit interesting. Also he has 616 hammer. Fail again Loeb.

Valkarie - Why? I can think of no better way to sum up my hatred of her addition to the team then the word why. Did we need a ditsy blonde teenager on this team? Is that the character dynamic we've been missing? Or is this just a chance Loeb gave MAD to draw an abundance of TNA? Because I have a strong belief it's the latter. I'm not even going to get into how she suddenly has powers and is dating Thor or how I liked her a lot better when she was some wannabe who tried to make Hank wear a Captain America costume to bed.

Captain America - He is barely in this issue and is therefore screwed up the least by Loeb. He actually seems somewhat in character. I'm sure Loeb will remedy that next issue. Probably by revealing that Cap is actually the Black Panther. Which brings me to...

Black Panther - Silent, possibly so no one would recognize his voice. Exactly the same build as Cap. Displaying superhuman strength similar to Cap. Recommended for the team by Cap. Didn't come back after Venom chucked him, instead Cap returns to the mansion in his place. I swear to god if they turn Black Panther into All-American, blonde haired, blue eyed super-cracker, Steve Rogers I will flip my damn lid.

Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver - Wondertwin Powers Activate! Form of Incest! Shape of poorly written dialogue! Quicksilver looks at Steve like he's going to kill him for touching his sister's arm? Come on! When your writing makes Mark Millar's writing look subtle in comparison you may consider taking a few night classes at the local Junior College to get a better grasp of the craft. Also, since this is where I'm talking about the incest I'll throw in my complaint about the look Jan gave when she was talking about their "love" here. Really? She's not grossed out? She just sees people in love and gets flustered talking about it with Steve because he's her dreamboat? Incest! Bad! WTF!?! I'm glad they killed Scarlet Witch now before we got to see Loeb deliver any brother-sister makeout scenes.

Giant/Ant-man - We'll never know which name he was going to go with now will we? I guess that we're supposed to feel bad for Hank having died like this, but as I was reading all I could think was "Thank God he died before Loeb gave him a single piece of idiotic, juvinile dialogue. Considering how poorly he's handled depression and incest I'd hate to see how he'd handle the subject of spousal abuse." You were the lucky one Hank. You escaped the ship before it sank.

Iron Man - Three lines in this issue and none of them particularly interesting. Can't wait to see how poorly he's written with a larger role. Loeb might just screw up this character to a level that not even Card could imagine.

Venom - No. Just no. Shouldn't be here, shouldn't be searching for anyone, and shouldn't turn into an Eddie Brock-less goo after he gets shocked. No!

Okay. So we've established that Jeph Loeb cannot and should not write these characters, but we also learned in this issue that Joe MAD (he uses caps, so will I) cannot and should not draw these characters. Or any other comic for that matter. He clearly can't handle sequential art. He is an awesome cover artist. He really is. But the interiors of this issue are terrible, ugly, and often times confusing. Wasp is Asian and Thor's hammer is not a chunk of concrete attached to a stick. I don't know which takes the bigger step down from the last creative team, the writing or the art. It's exactly these types of questions that lead me to believe this is the worst single issue of any Ultimate comic that I have ever read. Worse than Ultimate Deadpool, worse than Ultimate Clone Saga, and even worse than Wolverine and Spider-Man switching bodies. Worse than I could have possibly imagined. Everything was wrong. Everything. Often times when I give reviews I'll give them a negative score in an attempt at humor. There is no humor in the score I'm giving this issue.

0/5 Tafts.
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This was an awesome rant. Whatever happened to this **** series anyway?
 
Re: The Ultimates 3 #4 discussion (spoilers).

"Come with me if you want to live."

I'll pass.
 
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