No issue has ever disappointed me so utterly, and satisfied me so greatly.
I'll start with the disappointments, which to me, framed the issue. The first three and last three pages are bollocks.
It's too late in the damn series for plot points. We just get the bad doctor telling Hawkeye that he's alive, they're evil, and they've got a traitor. The guy's got a moustache. Give him the ****ing top hat and cane and be done with it.
The last few pages once again show Millar doesn't really handle exposition that well, just having his characters state exactly what's going on because he hasn't effectively set it up before hand. It wouldn't be so bad, but it undermines the threat of the Masters of Evil. They go on about how they've meticulously built up this uber-plan - a plan so well thought out it took months to actualise and it successfully took over the entire government of the United States of America in an hour. That is really amazing planning.
So why the **** do the Masters of Evil talk to Loki like they only met five seconds ago? Shouldn't these guys have had months of debriefing and training? They should be beyond the point of small talk? These guys a professionals. No small talk.
Also - where the **** did this army come from? Now, I understand they had all the security codes so they could get into certain places without being noticed on radars and what not but still - don't Americans have eyes? How the **** do you not SEE these guys coming? The only thing I can think is that they were at very high altitude above clouds, and then they jammed all frequencies and then attacked - which makes sense I suppose. But that doesn't explain where the army came from - how did they build the bloody thing? When and where? I'm assuming this is actually a plot point and possibly Loki allowed them to create the army in an Asgardian realm away from anyone's ability to see them (except Thor). Now that I say this, I realise Millar did something similar in Superman: Red Son.
And Black Widow is the traitor. I went back and checked my older issues just to make sure. Indeed, the issues state three times the traitor is surprising - "I think you'll be surprised when you find out who" - Loki #5, "I didn't have you pegged as a traitor." - Giant Man #6, "Surprised?" - The Traitor #7. Obviously, I use a different dictionary because Black Widow was the most obvious ****ing suspect. As soon as they said, "traitor" I went "Black Widow. Nah... too obvious." Then it turns out the Black Widow. This isn't a case of 'sour grapes' because Millar 'pulled the wool over my eyes'. The point of a mystery is not to have your friends go online and say, "No one has guessed the traitor" and to have your characters say how surprising it will be when it's the only ****ing commie on the team. This is a case of me thinking Millar is a better writer. Captain America or Iron Man would've been MUCH more exhilerating as the traitor. The story Fury gives for Cap being a traitor in #8 sent chills down my spine as I thought how they've been played right from the beginning. Look at all those Iron Man monsters in #9 - why the hell ISN'T Tony the ****ing traitor? But no, it's ****ing Black Widow. Black Widow as a traitor? Okay, that's not too bad. After NINE MONTHS of waiting and hyping and continuous references that it won't be 'who you expect' it turns out to be Black Widow? BLACK WIDOW? What a ****ing anti-climax. It's one-step better than "There is no traitor, we lied". ****ing waste of everyone's time. For a series that seems quite will to push itself and go as far as it can - it wussed out like a little girl. **** the traitor.
See? Disappointed me utterly.
But it satisfied me GREATLY.
I was getting sick and tired of Jarvis and his one-dimension of being perverse and 'shocking'. All his lines were "I'm so shocking and perverse!" Then, he gets shot and I go, "****". Part of me is glad to see him go, but I still felt for the poor blighter. Especially Tony's face in the next panel. I didn't think I'd miss Jarvis. But Hitllar proved me wrong.
Despite the traitor being Black Widow, the actual scenes were very well done. Widow lies about how she feels about Hawkeye so she isn't at the Triskelion when the **** hits the fan. When she starts screwing Tony, she looks at her watch. Very nice touch indeed. Also, I am actually excited to see how on Earth Tony gets out of this one! Part of me thinks he probably likes this position right now.
I love the fact those green-bastards (same colours as Loki by the way) just push the helicarriers into the Triskelion. That's ****ing sweet.
Those green-bastards are *******s. They punched off Nick Fury's arm.
Those poor Giant-Men. They got ****ing CREAMED. So did all those flyboys too. Jeez.
The iconography of the issue was very good. You had the 9/11 fall of the Triskelion, the b-movie sci-fi 'march of the machines', the Nazi blimps, the toppling of the statue of liberty echoing Iraq and Hussein's statue, the Darth Red (good name) lightsaber, the fact that the last page echoes the team's various "We're heroes" poses (Red Skull is in the same position as Captain America when they lead the charge against the Chitauri - when I have time I might try and find the exact poses), and it created a kind of timeless quality to the issue. It just felt like, "This is all the bad things in recent history all happening at the same time" which of course, in the self-contained world of the Ultimates, is absolutely true.
Quicksilver is a hero. We've seen him slowly getting further and further into the foreground as the title has come on, and he's really shining now. No hesitation, no fear - he's into the fray and saving people and comforting his sister at the same time. The guy's a hero. Shows that his 'I hate humans, and I'm an arrogant son of a *****' was just an act. We're seeing the real Quicksilver now.
Scarlet Witch is weird. If I'm right, she altered probability so that the Rocketmen would be able to respond. They seem to be coming from the place where her big pink glow thing came from. I dunno. Scarlet Witch is okay, but I don't know what she actually did this issue at the end.
Also - has anyone forgotten about the Union? Captain Britain, France, Spain, Italy - they're all gonna help. They can't do anything now without support. But Thor's going to lead them into battle. You know it. I know it.
And poor Thor. He's going to kick some ***. And I'm sure Tony's the one who's going to set him free.
The Red Skull (I'm sure it's him - I thought someone else could be the Skull, but I don't see the point) looks unbelievably cool. I love the fact he's a crazy Muslim. No doubt someone, somewhere is claiming this is Islamophobic because there isn't a 'good' Muslim in the story. I would think it's sad writers have to go out of their way to put in 'good' Muslims to prove that most Muslims are 'good'. I would assume most people already think that. That's the problem with political correctness. It assumes everyone is a racist, sexist, homophobic anti-semite. I like my evil, Islamic Red Skull. WHO HAS A ****ING LIGHTSABER! :rockon: Even if the weapon he's carrying starts out as those weird anti-lightsaber sticks Grevious' bodyguards use in III and then the blades grow into Maul's lightsaber - seriously, it just changes on the last page - even if that, The Red Skull (or Darth Red) is ****ing sweet.
Loki is an *******. I have never been more certain of him as a 'bad guy'. What a ****ing *******. You know if the other Masters hadn't been there he would've been masturbating.
And Abomination has a tail. Wicked.
I also like the whole ambiguity of this mess. Pre-emption versus Retaliation. Which is the right one to do? Millar's quite clever because he's shown pre-emption leads to retaliation. It's a perpetual cycle of people being in the wrong, each escalating the other into a perpetual frenzy.
But this is a superhero war. We gotsta have someone to punch. Expect the lines of morality to be blurred until Captain America gets his act together.
It ****ing rocked.
I still think this is all an elaborate surprise birthday party.
Terrific. You nailed it. (And Fury gets the baddest bionic arm in the history of comics).
