"Welcome to the Great Golden Bowl corporation. We, like you, have our black dog days. Days where we lack energy. Drive. Committment. That kind of slapdash sloppiness can lead to mistakes in business - and at home.
"But don't fret! The Great Golden Bowl corporation has the answer for you! Helios is a new vitamin that naturally releases endorphins allowing you to feel pure bliss at any time of the day! It's completely harmless!
"It's not even remotely addictive, and it has no side effects what so ever.
"It's happiness, whenever YOU want.
"And with our new low trial price, there's no reason for you to let that black dog in!
"Helios by Great Golden Bowl. If you're happy, we're happy."
Click.
The Great Golden Bowl Coporation, Cosmopolis
The Wee Hours of the Morning
Moonmaster, rattles through the filing cabinets, dossiers, files, whatever he can lay his hands on, sifting through information and jotting down notes looking for the story that he knows lies within the corporation. Perhaps it's his wolf senses, his journalistic drive, or perhaps both, but Moonmaster knew there was something wrong here.
Blue, fluorescent street lamps that pollute the night sky far higher than they should are his only sources if illumination, save his lightsaber, set on a lower power output than normal, glowing soft, yet cold red light near him.
The Helios pill is new. Very new. And it had been fast tracked through every obstacle to making it legal. But… not suspiciously. In fact, it seemed quite on the up and up. But there was something here Moonmaster could feel wasn't right.
What was more exasberating was that Moonmaster couldn't find a single flaw in the pill itself. It wasn't addictive. It wasn't harmful. It gives short bursts of happiness – and somehow this doesn't sit well with him.
It stank. And there is one extremely important question no one has seemed to bother with answering beyond the vague double talk of a publicist.
Where did it come from?
The answer would yield further answers – what is this Helios made of, who controls it, how was it discovered, and other answers all designed to alleviate that feeling Moonmaster has that something just isn't right here.
And finally, he finds something. Among the ransacked boxes and cabinets, he finds documents that pertain to the location of where the Helios pill was first cultivated. He ravenously reads the information, but as he does the paper starts to turn yellow in his hands. The ink blurs and fades, and before he knows it, the papers crumple in his hands into nothing.
Click.
And behind him, he hears the cocking of a gun.
He turns round, igniting his lightsaber… which is slimey and dim and fuzzing intermittedly. He looks at it – it's covered in rust, its battery dying. He hears the ticking of a wris****ch and looks in front of him.
Standing before him in the perpetual shadow is a bizarre nemesis, in trenchcoat, top hat and skull mask – at least he hopes it's a mask – with spiraling eyes. His right arm is out, holding an old antique of a pistol, and on it is an even older wris****ch. Both immaculate.
Bang.
Moonmaster dodges the bullet, but in so doing, slips on the papers on the floor, and crashes head-first into the cabinets.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Click.
Moonmaster growls.
Bang.
Again, Moonmaster dodges, diving forward at his assailant, but his feet trip and he slides on the floor at his enemy's feet. Moonmaster is puzzled at his lack of agility.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Click.
Before he gets a chance to fire, Moonmaster pounces and drops him to the floor. On top of him Moonmaster is about to deal him a damaging blow – when the lighting fixtures crumble down onto him.
Stunned, Moonmaster gets up slowly, almost still on all fours. What the hell is going on? The pistolier nonchalantly strolls over to his gun. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. And picks it up, dusting off his trench coat. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Moonmaster could swear, besides the ringing in his ears, he could hear him chuckling. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Is this… man, somehow responsible for his misfortune? Things don't seem to be as they appear – and Moonmaster has no intention of finding out if the suspiciously old looking pistol is really a threat to him.
He jumps right for his adversary, who gets out of the way – which is fine, because Moonmaster is aimed at the window.
Crashing through the glass – he can handle the cuts – Moonmaster plummets towards the street, kicking and flipping down flagpoles, ledges, whatever there is that might break his fall. And he lands safely. He gets up… and his stomach rumbles. He vomits violently and looking at the contents – its rancid food. Very rancid. But he never ate anything like that… With one answer comprised of two words, and more bizarre questions, Moonmaster runs off into the night.
High above him, in the room from which he lept, his assailant looks out of the crashed window, down to the streets below and sees him running off. Pressing his thumb into his head, next to his ear, he speaks:
Entropy: "He escaped."
When the site Ultimate Central began giving people incredible abilities, its creator, Ultimate E created a team of heroes to bring justice to the world and deal with the astounding effects of the site. That team rebelled against Ultimate E and dedicated themselves to protecting Earth from all superhuman threats. They are the Avatars.
~ NURHACHI PRESENTS ~
ULTIMATE CENTRAL
THE FANFIC
"WHAT'S A SMILE WORTH?"
Volume 6, Issue 49, By Bass
The Avatars roll call
DIrishB - recreational marijuana user and historical mastermind, he has the power to control plantlife and vegetation
Icemastertron - the team's secretary and accountant, who needs to use his ice control powers in order to finance the Avatar's binging
Nurhachi - arguably the possessor of the strangest superpower of all - prehensile blood - he is the team's moral and artistic compass
ProjectX2 - the rock-skinned old-timer who's random thought patterns make him a terrific lateral thinker and strategist
Ultimate Gambit - decisive, repentant, and hedonistic hero who has the disconcerting power to make anything he touches explode
Moonmaster: "The Helios pill isn't addictive. FACT. The Helios pill has no harmful side-effects. FACT. The Helios pill just grants happiness to whomever ingests it for a temporary time. FACT. It has been projected in making a new corporation, Great Golden Bowl, a major player in the business world. FACT. The funding for the corporation's activities, along with the Helios pill's origins are vague and undefined. FACT. Someone is hiding this information and using Helios to bankroll their agenda. FACT. The only information I have on its origins is "Red Island", a mesa in the Arizona desert. FACT. One of the men working for these mysterious benefactors is definitely super-powered in some way, which would link them with Ultimate Central. FACT. That makes it something you should take care of. FACT."
Red Island, Mesa in the Arizona Desert
The sun is blisteringly hot as it beats down onto the sand, casting an enormous shade from the mesa. The Avatars transport into this sweltering heat, two members down. In an attempt have some sort of reconnaissance of the mesa, before simply piling into it, Nurhachi and Icemastertron, both of whom would be adversely affected by the heat, remain in Ultimate Central and await their teammates call.
Looking through binoculars as he peers over a sand dune, ProjectX2 searches for clues – and he may have found one.
ProjectX2: "Can you talk to plants?"
DIrishB: "Me?"
ProjectX2: "See those cacti down there? They're all huddled together – and not in the shade."
DIrishB: "You want to know where they're getting their water from?"
ProjectX2: "Exactly. I'm guessing there must be an underground reservoir, and since there's no other forms of shelter around here, it could be a pipeline and that would lead us to whatever this Red Island is, whether it's in or under that mesa."
Ultimate Gambit: "No door?"
ProjectX2: "No big honking sign either."
Ultimate Gambit: "Can you talk to rock?"
ProjectX2: "Sometimes, I feel as though I am."
Ultimate Gambit: "Hey!"
ProjectX2: "Sorry. Sorry. It's the heat."
DIrishB: "Well, I can exert some control over the cacti and I kinda… 'felt' their roots, I suppose. There's a small patch of water under the sand it seems, like a crack in a pipeline."
ProjectX2: "Anyway to tell where it goes?"
DIrishB: "No. We should have asked if we could borrow Watcher."
ProjectX2: "They're busy with that Fuzzy Birds character."
Ultimate Gambit: "The Whammo-Ray guy? In the Phantom of the Opera gear? 'I am broadcasting on all channels and I'm going to destroy Manhattan' guy?"
ProjectX2: "Yeah, him."
Ultimate Gambit: "Why don't we switch assignments?"
ProjectX2: "They dealt with Tog better than we did. I say, let 'em have the crazy supervillains with their sentient plant men. God knows they need a break from Central."
DIrishB: "Me too. They've got me making a timeline of events by going through the file trying to work out where it came from… and I'm boring myself talking about it."
Ultimate Gambit: "I thought you were enjoying it?"
DIrishB: "I do, but… ah, I dunno. There's something missing. It's like doing a jigsaw without the pieces or something. I don't care. Let's focus on this thing."
Ultimate Gambit: "We can't get Watcher?"
ProjectX2: "Nah. Look, if that mesa has a kind of processing plant, there's a good chance of a communications blackout. If they wanted to be contacted, they wouldn't be here. So we should get Ice and Nur down here now. Then we go up to that mesa, and find our way in."
Ultimate Gambit: "Or break in."
ProjectX2: "Exactly. You two okay with that?"
Ultimate Gambit: "Sure. Aren't you the leader?"
DIrishB: "He's the leader? Since when?"
ProjectX2: "I thought Ice was the leader."
DIrishB: "No way. He's more like our mom."
Ultimate Gambit: "I thought that was Nur."
DIrishB: "MWOF could've left us with a deputy when he left."
ProjectX2: "Yeah, because when he was all messed up with that Slimjim debacle and us being supervillains all of a sudden, it was just inconsiderate of him that he didn't think about trouble he was leaving us in. End sarcasm."
DIrishB: "Hey, I could've… nevermind. Just call them."
ProjectX2 calls Nurhachi and Icemastertron, who arrive immediately, and he explains to them the situation. Icemastertron is slowly melting in the heat, but not too badly. He's keeping it together, and carrying a lot of water to remain hydrated. As it is, it's like he's just soaking wet, as opposed to ice. Nurhachi, on the other hand, is agitated, but Icemastertron is trying to keep him cool so he doesn't frenzy.
The Avatars move as quickly and quietly as they can, towards the cactus patch.
Nurhachi: "You brought me down here, so I can dig."
ProjectX2: "I know it's hot…"
Nurhachi: "I grew up in Africa. This is winter for me."
Of course it isn't, but then, who's going to argue with a man who's blood is a weapon? And a multi-purpose tool? Nurhachi's blood carapace forms a malleable shovel and he begins digging for the pipeline, so they can better gauge where the processing plant may be, and the entrance to it.
Uncovering a bit of the pipeline, Nurhachi sits down and puts his hand onto the pipe, and sends his blood as feelers, looking for the direction of the pipe. He then points towards the mesa.
Nurhachi: "Definitely headed underground towards the mesa. Y'know. The big ****off mountain in the middle of nowhere which is so obviously a secret stronghold. Did the lack of neon lights not tip you off?"
Ultimate Gambit: "Dude, maybe you should go back to Central."
Nurhachi: "I'm fine!"
DIrishB: "Maybe we should give him a Helios pill."
Nurhachi: "**** that junk. Now, can we please break into the mountain?"
Icemastertron: "How about we teleport in there?"
ProjectX2: "We don't know how thick the walls are, let alone the layout of the place or if they've created a deadzone."
DIrishB: "We could just knock."
ProjectX2: "That's not a bad idea."
The Avatars follow ProjectX2 as he leads them to the mesa. Standing in the shade, at the bottom of the 50-foot high rock formation, ProjectX2 notes that the transporters are off-line. The mesa is a deadzone.
ProjectX2: "Nur, if you can create tentacles or feelers, send 'em out and tap on the mountain and see if you can find where the rock is thinnest."
Nurhachi: "Oooookay."
Nurhachi's fingers separate into more and more fingers and he starts tapping at the rock. After a couple of minutes, he gives up in frustration.
Nurhachi: "I don't have super feeling senses or anything! I'm not a ****ing bat. Why don't you 'talk to the rock' with your rock-skin?"
Ultimate Gambit looks smugly and ProjectX2.
ProjectX2: "Okay, okay. Cool down."
Nurhachi: "If I could, I would."
Icemastertron: "This is pathetic. Five superheroes and we can't even get inside the villains' base. What the hell are we doing here anyway?"
DIrishB: "'Bad drugs take over world.'"
Icemastertron: "Oh come on, I didn't say that."
DIrishB: "I'm pretty sure you did."
Icemastertron: "What, you think this Helios thing is a good idea?"
DIrishB: "I really don't see it to be any different than pot or alcohol or nicotine. It's a drug. Why are we even here?"
ProjectX2: "Because Moonmaster told us they had a Centralite working for them."
Icemastertron: "Look, I like Mooney, but – come on. The guy's small-fry. Ever since he became the hero of Cosmopolis and doing all those secret investigations, he thinks he's the Question and Superman or something."
Ultimate Gambit: "All he said was that he kept falling over, as if this pistol-guy was making him fall over. But it could just be that Mooney's well… inept."
Nurhachi: "Well, we're experts on inept. We can't even find a door."
ProjectX2: "Moonmaster also said that the papers he found dissolved in his hands. His lightsabre aged 20 years in 20 seconds. It could be something non-superpowered, sure. High-tech. But he seemed to think it was superpowers, and if it is, that means Ultimate Central, and that means us."
Icemastertron: "New Centralites are the Sub-nics domain."
ProjectX2: "Yeah, but it might not be. And we don't want to get the Sub-nics embroiled in a messy corporate scandal. They're our good face."
DIrishB: "Dammit. This is why we can't find a door, and this is why the world hates us. We can't have a conversation without *****ing and questioning each other in pointless back and forths. I'm sick of this ****."
DIrishB sat on the floor and took a swig from his water bottle. Icemastertron reverts to his human self. The Avatars fall silent. They're stumped.
ProjectX2: "Ice, can you freeze the water in the pipeline? Maybe that will…"
Icemastertron shakes his head.
Icemastertron: "I can turn into ice, generate ice, but I can't freeze water without touching it. I'm not Iceman. We'd need to break that pipeline, which looks pretty dangerous and hard to me."
ProjectX2: "We can't smash at this mesa or blow it up without knowing where to hit it. I doubt the entire thing is hollow… and that's even if we could. Dammit, NOTHING'S WORKING!"
The team sighs.
Ultimate Gambit: "Anyone know the Elvish word for friend?"
DIrishB: "How do these guys get their stash?"
Icemastertron: "What?"
ProjectX2: "No, he's right. All the materials this plant's got to be getting. How does it get here?"
Nurhachi: "Convoy of trucks or something seems unfeasible. We're too far for a car journey."
Ultimate Gambit: "Helicopter?"
Icemastertron: "Which would mean…"
The Avatars crane their necks and try to see the top of the 50-foot mesa.
DIrishB: "How the hell do we get up there without transporters?"
Ultimate Gambit: "Fifty-foot of rope."
The Avatars look perplexed at Ultimate Gambit.
Ultimate Gambit: "MWOF and Bigby were talking about Lord of the Rings and Dungeons and Dragons. I listened."
ProjectX2: "Okay. Ice, can you make an ice bridge?"
Icemastertron: "I honestly don't think it would hold our weight – and it would be too slippery."
ProjectX2: "Okay… which of us could climb that? I reckon I could."
Nurhachi: "Me too."
ProjectX2: "Reckon you can carry Ice? He'll help keep you cool."
DIrishB: "And me and Gambit?"
ProjectX2: "Hold onto my back?"
DIrishB: "There isn't space for both of us, and we could fall… I'll stay down here. I'll keep an eye out."
Icemastertron: "You sure?"
DIrishB: "Yeah. Hell, there might not be a way in from up there anyway, and I don't want to make the same trip twice."
Around 40 Minutes Later
The Avatars, except DIrishB, puffing and panting, make their way to the top of the mesa. Collapsing onto the rockface, they scream as they heat is so intense at the top. To cool things down, Ice creates a patch of ice on the floor for them to stand on. It starts melting into glistening water.
Icemastertron: "Better than nothing."
Ultimate Gambit: "Hey, I found two things."
The Avatars rush to Gambit, who's walked off ahead, and pointing at a very small radar.
Icemastertron: "I thought this place was a deadzone."
Ultimate Gambit smiles and runs his staff across the floor, to reveal a slight partition in the floor, implicating a door.
ProjectX2: "Either that radar doesn't work and this place is abandoned, or it does work and they know we're here. Either way, I've had enough of this sneaking around bull."
And with that – he pummels his rock-fists into the top of the mesa, piling his fingers into the partition, trying to pry the opening. He pulls, he pushes, he struggles and toils, and starts breaking the opening when it suddenly opens silently and swiftly and cleanly. Thrown off balance, the Avatars watch as ProjectX2 falls into the opening, which is pitch black inside.
Then they here a crack-thud.
And ProjectX2 comes flying out of the opening, propelled into high into the air, and then comes crashing down on the other side of the top of the mesa.
A giant hand comes out of the opening, and pulling himself out of the opening, staring down the Avatars, and growing to his full-height is a familiar face.
Baxter: "You're trespassing."
Baxter takes a deep breath and as he bellows out his exhale, he slams his fist on the top of the mesa. The force knocks the three Avatars, Nurhachi, Ultimate Gambit, and Icemastertron, off the top of the mesa. Using his blood as tendrils and hooks, Nurhachi manages to grab onto the side of the mesa as he falls, and catch Ultimate Gambit in the other, who slams into the rockface. Icemastertron is blown too far away and as he falls, the mesa itself crumbles creating a kind of avalanche. Nurhachi uses his blood to create a kind of shield bubble to protect him and Gambit from the falling rocks – but it hurts a great deal – and it pisses him off too. Icemastertron creates an icebridge, but its too slippery and he falls off it, trying to hold on with his hands – but the falling rocks pulverize it. He falls again, and again, he tries another icebridge, but it too fails. Panicing, he tries a third, which breaks again, but it also breaks his fall enough so that he lands on the rocks and sand below, but isn't too badly damaged by the fall. The wind is knocked out of him however.
But DIrishB is trapped under the rock.
Baxter, thinking the Avatars, are defeated, smugly chuckles to himself, until suddenly a small rock-man swings round in front of his face, holding onto his ear and bashes his nose.
ProjectX2, staying on Baxter's face, begins putting his hands under his lips and trying to pull his face off.
ProjectX2: "I'm going to peel you and use you as wallpaper."
Baxter, gurgling, pushes himself out of the opening and onto the top of the mesa, to give himself more space so he can pull ProjectX2 off his face.
Nurhachi pulls himself and Ultimate Gambit back onto the mesa. Nurhachi, turning his blood-carapace into spiked armour, poises to join ProjectX2.
Nurhachi: "LEE…"
Ultimate Gambit puts his hand over Nurhachi's mouth. Making the 'ssh' motion, he points at the opening that Baxter has left unguarded. Nurhachi nods. Ultimate Gambit charges a playing card for a source of light, and the two jump into the mesa.
Inside the mesa is the cold sterilized calm of fluorescent buzzing. So similar a stronghold. Much cooler too, to Nurhachi's delight. Also, the mesa, inside, is no longer a deadzone, and their transporters work. But without a knowledge of the layout, the continue to stride. The duo come to a fork in the corridors.
Ultimate Gambit: "Split up?"
Nurhachi: "Split up."
Ultimate Gambit goes right, and Nurhachi takes left, into the mesa they go.
Project X2, On Top of the Mesa
Baxter, towering 10 feet over the top of the mesa, pounds his fists into the top of the mesa, shaking it further. The interior of the mesa is reinforced, so none inside would notice. ProjectX2 runs and moves and jumps and dodges Baxter's pounding, taking advantage where he can – picking up boulders and chucking them at him, or leaping high into the air and beating Baxter in the face. Pounding onto his hands, grabbing onto his arms – it takes a lot to take down a giant. But try as ProjectX2 might, he can't fully succeed.
As ProjectX2 keeps running and leaping to avoid Baxter's hands, and trying to hurt Baxter as best as he can, ProjectX2 can't help but wonder who Baxter is working for. The last time he met Baxter, he was working for Ultimate E, but Ultimate E was picked up again by Bass Lak Tus as his herald. ProjectX2 isn't aware that Ultimate E has returned to Earth, and if he has, would Baxter know about it? And Baxter was left in Africa – what's he doing in Arizona? But all these questions made ProjectX2 run when he should've jumped.
BAM.
Icemastertron, At the Foot of the Mesa
Icemastertron groans as he rubs his sore body. At least he's in the shade. Picking himself up off the rocks that tumbled down with him from the top of the mesa, he can hear Baxter stomping around, shuddering the floor.
Then, he hears a voice, coming from the shadows.
Iceshadow: "The secret to flying is to jump and miss the ground."
Icemastertron turns round and sees the shadow cast on the floor, attached to him, isn't his real shadow. It has a very different, smiling face.
Iceshadow: "Boo!"
It stretches out its arm, grabs a hold of Icemastertron's head, and pulls him into it – which cracks Ice's head on the floor. He's a shadow after all.
Icemastertron: "A-Are you my shadow?"
Iceshadow: "Yeah, sure. I've come to life and I don't like your pull list."
The shadow pulls itself up, becoming almost three-dimensional, and begins pounding on Icemastertron. Confused, and perhaps a little concussed, transforms into his ice-body and starts to create icebridges which he slides across. However, not only are the icebridges weak and slippery, but the shadow suddenly glistens like dew and creates its own shadow-like bridges, though they are also glistening much like Ice's, and gives chase. Icemastertron firse an icebeam at him, but it's too weak upon impact. The villain creates a black patch beneath Icemastertron's feet, which is slippery like ice, and forces him off his bridge, tumbling into the sand dunes, and landing near the cacti.
Grinning, the villain of shadow and ice stands high above Icemastertron on his bridge.
Ultimate Gambit, Inside the Stronghold
Ultimate Gambit walks through the stronghold, staying close to shadows, and he comes out high up in a processing facility. He then has an amazing idea on how to stop the Great Golden Bowl corporation.
Ultimate Gambit: "Boom."
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Ultimate Gambit turns round to the ticking sound coming from behind him, and standing behind him is Entropy, pointing his gun at him.
Bang.
Ultimate Gambit, dodges and reaches into his trenchcoat to pull out his deck of playing cards, but as he does so, the deck is already open and they spill out off the edge and down into the processing plant, two dozen feet below.
Entropy: "Whoops."
Surreptitiously, Ultimate Gambit whips out his staff and cracks Entropy round the head with it.
Ultimate Gambit: "Whoops."
Nurhachi, Inside the Stronghold
Nurhachi has walked through the stronghold aimlessly, but has now been confronted by an odd-looking man in a hand-sown costume, carrying a hammer. Nurhachi, encased in his blood carapace, and his odd foe stare down across the corridor as if in a western.
Dr Draco: "I'm Dr. Draco."
Nurhachi: "Nurhachi."
Dr Draco: "You're the wrong colour."
Suddenly, Nurhachi's blood caparace retracts into his body, and Nurhachi can't summon it up.
Dr Draco: "That's better."
DIrishB, Elsewhere
DIrishB isn't covered in rubble. He should be. He thinks he was. But he isn't.
Instead, he's in in a giant processing facility, and all around he can see bizarre artifacts, half-made titans, workspaces and laboratories, gadgets and gizmoes taken apart and put back together. He's been teleported. And he knows by whom.
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "How you doing, D?"
DIrishB: "Who's your friend?"
Standing next to Ultimate Scarlet Witch, is a man in casual attire, slacks and a t-shirt and light jacket, though underneath he seems to be wearing some kind of cybernetic suit.
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "D, this is Lithium. He's the one who made that pill you so love."
ProjectX2 versus Baxter
Baxter slams his palm down, and crushes ProjectX2. Battered and stunned, Baxter picks up ProjectX2, smiles, and chucks him far into the distance.
Hurtling through the air as a tossed pebble, ProjectX2 realises that he's no longer in the deadzone.
He pulls out his transporter and sets it to teleport him back outside the deadzone, but on the other side of the mesa, facing the same direction.
ProjectX2 appears where he chose, and his momentum remains the same and continues his propulsion through the air, except now, rather than Baxter being behind him, he is now in front of him.
Baxter, chuckling to himself about how far he's thrown ProjectX2 looks up and sees ProjectX2, grinning, his punch loaded, headed straight between his eyes.
CRACK.
And the titan falls. A huge, thundering shudder across the sand as he drops, and soon a smaller, lighter thud, as ProjectX2 collapses on the floor next to him, exhausted.
Icemastertron versus Iceshadow
Icemastertron: "Who the hell are you? Black ice?"
Iceshadow: "Iceshadow. I'm your evil twin."
Icemastertron: "No, that's Iceman. You're a jerk with delusions of grandeur."
Iceshadow: "Sure? You're pathetic. Your dangerously low on ice in this heat, while I have a shadow form that's completely unaffected. This was over before it began."
Icemastertron: "… I don't have a come back for that."
Icemastertron bursts out a hard beam of ice from his hand, expending his reserves and dangerously dehydrating him – but it does as its intended. It knocks Iceshadow off his bridge, and into the distance.
Thinking quickly, Icemastertron grabs a nearby rock and rushes over to the exposed pipeline and begins smashing at it. A dent at first. Iceshadow gets up and shakes off the beam. Icemastertron tries to smash it again, but he's sweaty, the ground is shaking from ProjectX2's fight with Baxter, and the rock slips out of his hand. Iceshadow pulls himself together and creates a beeline for Icemastertron. Time is running down. As the ground shakes from Baxter's collapse, Ice smashes the pipeline and water starts gushing out as Iceshadow charges on his icebridge for Icemastertron. Icemastertron thrusts his hand into the water, and the water becomes ice, and creates a giant shield that Iceshadows barrels into, becoming completely encased in ice.
Icemastertron walks up to his frozen friend (who will no doubt be free in an hour or so) and puffs out his chest.
Icemastertron: "Burn."
If Iceshadow could speak – he'd tell Icemastertron he's an idiot.
Icemastertron rushes over to ProjectX2, who's lying on the floor next to Baxter, his eyes closed facing the sky.
Icemastertron: "You okay?"
ProjectX2: "I'm old. I deserve a nap."
Ultimate Gambit versus Entropy
Entropy looks at his watch.
Entropy: "Ha. You're doing well for a dead man."
Ultimate Gambit: "Your watch is fast."
Ultimate Gambit strikes him again with the stick, but his grip slips as Entropy deftly dodges and Entropy kicks his staff off the edge.
Entropy: "Not as fast as you'd like to think."
Head to head, Ultimate Gambit headbutts Entropy as hard as he can – but unfortunately, he does so badly, and shatters one of his teeth, dropping to the floor and coughing blood.
Entropy laughs.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Entropy walks up to Ultimate Gambit and aims his gun at Gambit's head. He flicks open the pistols chamber and looks at the bullet. Then closes the pistol. He looks at his watch.
Entropy: "Hmm. This watch is a hundred years old. But today it's wrong about you."
Ultimate Gambit spits out his broken tooth at Entropy – a tooth he's charged with explosive energy.
BOOM.
Entropy is dazed. Ultimate Gambit gets up and walks to Entropy. He lifts up his limp hand and shows Entropy his own watch.
Ultimate Gambit: "Look at that. It's time to get a new watch, mon ami."
Ultimate Gambit moves off from Entropy and continues working his way into the plant, and notices DIrishB below.
DIrishB, The Helios Processing Plant
DIrishB: "Excuse me?"
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "There's no need to lie. I know you've taken Helios, at least twice. Here's a free third sample for you."
DIrishB: "You're behind Helios."
Lithium: "I am Helios."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "And it's my idea to mass-produce it as a pill. And your idea to take it."
DIrishB: "It was alright."
Baiting Lithium into a rise, Ultimate Scarlet Witch raises her hand to stifle him.
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "Come on now, you liked it."
DIrishB: "So what's the plan? Make the world addicted, and then take over?"
Lithium: "I'm not addictive!"
DIrishB: "Dude, chill. Dooby?"
Lithium bats DIrishB's marijuana cigarette to the floor.
DIrishB: "Dude should take some of his own… medicine."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "We just want to make the world happy."
DIrishB: "Sure."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "And make some money."
DIrishB: "Pff."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "Oh, stop it, you hypocrite. Look at you. A week ago you're selling out the Avatars for me, then, when they become their most unpopular, you toss ME aside? You're not even against Helios. I know it. You know it. And they want to shut it down for no reason at all. Why not stay with me? With us? You want to. It's obvious. Why are you torturing yourself?"
DIrishB: "They make mistakes. But there hearts are in the right place."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "And we don't make mistakes but our hearts are in the wrong place?"
DIrishB: "I don't know where you stand."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "You've already helped ruin the chances for peace Slimjim offered. You've kept all of Ultimate Central's technologies for yourself, got rid of your UN observers. And now you're going to take away everyone's happiness? For what?"
DIrishB: "You can't put a price on happiness."
Lithium: "You dropped something."
Lithium 'offers' DIrishB his cigarette.
DIrishB: "This is one of your friends you were telling me about?"
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "My offer still stands."
DIrishB takes a couple of seconds, but to him, it's like hours. He ruminates. He hasn't agreed with the Avatars policy of late, but they're his friends and they deserve his loyalty. On the other hand, Ultimate Scarlet Witch seems to be doing nothing wrong and while he cares for her deeply, but he just doesn't trust her. Is what she's doing so bad? What is it about her he just can't bring himself to trust? Should he go with his reasoned rationale of morality, or with his gut instincts of who is more trustworthy? Or perhaps with who needs him most?
DIrishB: "Why don't you join us?"
Lithium: "Impossible. I have no intention of giving up what power I've accumulated."
DIrishB: "At what point did you think I was talking to you?"
Lithium: "Oh, I've had enough of you. Sorry, Scarlet."
Lithium throws a proper heavy haymaker at DIrishB, and clatters him to the floor.
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "Stop it!"
Lithium: "Oh come on. We're in the Stronghold! There's no plants for him to control. He's less than useless. He's a liability."
DIrishB rugby tackles Lithium to the floor and starts punching him, when a giant robotic arm from the processing plant pulls him up by the scruff of his neck. Hoisting him into the air, Lithium gets up and rubs his jaw.
Lithium: "I can control machines too, idiot."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "If he's so harmless, let him go."
Lithium: "He's made his decision. You knew when he came here he's not leaving unless he joins us."
DIrishB: "Hey! I obviously wasn't told about the risks involved in that decision."
Lithium has the arm draw DIrishB closer to him. He smirks.
Lithium: "Too late for that now."
DIrishB: "Smile."
DIrishB lunges his arms forward and thrusts the Helios pill into Lithium's mouth. Lithium tries to have the arm pry DIrishB off him, but he's holding onto his head, and keeping his nose and jaw closed so he has to swallow. Which Lithium does. Oh, how happy he is.
CRACK.
DIrishB: "Ow."
DIrishB rubs his sore hand after clocking Lithium.
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "That was stupid."
DIrishB: "You gave me a chance, now I'm giving you one. Leave, and the Avatars never need to know you were here."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "What a gentleman."
DIrishB: "Whatever. You're still not getting Helios."
DIrishB walks up to Lithium, grabs him, and starts dragging his unconscious body across the floor.
Nurhachi versus Dr Draco
WHAM.
Dr Draco rushes up and clatters Nurhachi with his hammer, smashing him into the floor.
Dr Draco: "You made a mistake by being one. I am not."
Nurhachi gets up and charges at Dr Draco. He throws a punch, and another, but Dr Draco has an uncanny sense for anticipation and waits until Nurhachi overextends before…
WHAM.
Nurhachi has been hit many times by a very large hammer carried by a very crazy person who hasn't been making much sense. Nurhachi starts to crawl away.
Dr Draco: "Why aren't you dead yet? You should be dead."
Nurhachi: "Says you…"
Dr Draco: "Says history. Or possibly the future? I have dreams. Memories? They've been here for a while."
Nurhachi: "Really? Then why don't you go talk to them and leave me alone so I can blow up your base."
Dr Draco: "Such a pale imitation."
Nurhachi: "Now you're just being rude."
Dr Draco: "I can hear your body, you know. It's a big switch. On. Off. Right now, it's off. And I'm on."
Dr Draco smashes Nurhachi again with his hammer. Nurhachi vomits blood onto the floor.
Dr Draco: "You know, I'm just not sure if I'm awake. But I'm enjoying this. It's so… peaceful."
Nurhachi: "I don't even know why we're here."
Dr Draco: "You're not supposed to be."
Nurhachi: "Oh, I agree. We're useless. Took us 20 minutes to get inside this damn place. And for what? Why are we here? Because I'm a bit disconcerted about people putting a price on smiles?"
Dr Draco: "What is a smile worth?"
Nurhachi: "Apparently, quite a bit."
Dr Draco: "There are so many coming – and so few of us here. Have we had this conversation before?"
Nurhachi: "I've had this conversation many times with my friends. Right and wrong. It seems lately, we try to do the right thing, and we end up being wrong. Bigby. Slimjim. Now this. You… Baxter."
Dr Draco: "Is he hero or hooligan?"
Nurhachi: "He has a good will."
Dr Draco: "Yes! Yes. And no such strange fates for any or all."
Nurhachi: "So you tell me – is it worth it?"
Dr Draco: "Is what worth what?"
Nurhachi: "Are the smiles worth the pain. Is this blood the price worth paying?"
Dr Draco: "I remember your death."
Nurhachi: "But I'm alive. Look."
Dr Draco: "Is this happening?"
Nurhachi: "Perhaps you should turn yourself off. I'll wait."
Dr Draco: "But I can't. I'm not allowed to."
Nurhachi: "Says who?"
Dr Draco: "He has too many names. I can't remember them all. But I remember he doesn't like you."
WHAM.
Dr Draco: "Oh, yes. I remember this. It feels good."
Nurhachi: "What feels good?"
Dr Draco: "This."
WHAM.
Nurhachi, coughs up blood, but continues to act as if nothing happened – as best as he can.
Nurhachi: "What are you talking about? Did you do something?"
Dr Draco: "I hit you."
Nurhachi: "No you didn't."
Dr Draco: "You're lying."
Nurhachi: "Of course I'm lying down. I'm tired."
Dr Draco: "You're lying."
Nurhachi: "But, I'm the good guy, remember?"
Dr Draco: "Yes. Always the good guy."
Nurhachi: "Right. Good guys don't lie. So if I say you never hit me, then you never hit me."
Dr Draco: "This isn't happening."
Nurhachi: "It's already happened. Can't you tell?"
Dr Draco: "Of course. What's happened is happening now and happening again. But it's happened already."
Nurhachi: "No, you've got it the wrong way round."
Dr Draco: "I think something's not supposed to be here."
Nurhachi: "That's right me. You said so in a minute, remember?"
Dr Draco: "… Yes."
Nurhachi: "Can I have my hammer, back?"
Dr Draco: "Certainly."
Dr Draco smiles like a gentleman as he hands Nurhachi his hammer. Nurhachi bows as he graciously accepts it.
WHAM.
Down goes Dr Draco, and the blood carapace is back. Nurhachi staggers on, satisfied with himself.
The Processing Plant
Nurhachi walks into the processing plant and sees DIrishB dragging Lithium.
DIrishB: "This guy has superpowers. Makes people happy. They turned it into pills. And he can control machines."
Nurhachi: "Neat. I met a crazy guy with a hammer."
DIrishB: "Sounds fun."
Nurhachi: "Tons. So we take this guy back to Central?"
DIrishB: "And the others I suppose."
ProjectX2: "We'll need to give Baxter his own cell."
Nurhachi and DIrishB look round and see ProjectX2 and Icemastertron walking up to them, supporting each other.
DIrishB: "You two okay?"
Icemastertron: "Another ice guy. With shadows."
ProjectX2: "We want to go home."
DIrishB: "Where's Ultimate Gambit?"
Suddenly, the Avatars transporters make a beeping sound.
Icemastertron: "Something just killed our transporters."
ProjectX2: "The deadzone is back up."
Nurhachi: "Guys."
The others look to where Nurhachi is pointing. Descending to the ground in the power plant is none other than their arch-enemy – Ultimate E.
ProjectX2: "I thought you were in space being someone's helper monkey."
Icemastertron: "I should've recognized the décor of this place. All these weird artifacts. This is your new base."
Nurhachi: "These super-villains - are they your new E-Men?"
DIrishB: "They sucked."
Ultimate E: "You really are pathetic. You come here to stop a drug? I don't know whether to be impressed that you tracked this whole operation down, or ashamed that you have nothing better to do with all the wonderful toys still residing in my old base."
DIrishB: "Shut it you insufferable bore."
Ultimate E: "It's ironic that without MWOF, your manners have deteriorated. Perhaps I should give you a free sample of Helios."
DIrishB: "No, we've got most of it right here. And we're taking it home."
Ultimate E: "You call yourselves heroes, and yet here you are stealing from me."
Nurhachi: "Read Robin Hood."
Ultimate E: "And so far, you've given so much to the poor man ever since you kicked out your UN observers and forced mortality on the planet. Well done, by the way."
The Avatars have a stare off with Ultimate E.
Icemastertron: "We're going home."
DIrishB: "All we have to do is get outside the deadzone."
Ultimate E: "You won't make it out of this room."
Ultimate Gambit: "I wouldn't be so sure."
Ultimate Gambit hops down a couple of levels, but is still higher up than E and the Avatars. Holding some rocks and pebbles in his hand, he charges them slightly, and drops them off the side as he talks.
Ultimate Gambit: "You've just built this 'stronghold'. I know you've got a ton of crazy gadgets and one-of-a-kind technologies filling this place up. Irreplaceable artifacts."
One of the pebbles explodes taking a few gadgets with it, much to E's apprehension.
Ultimate Gambit: "Powerful machines."
Another small boom, causing a half-made robot titan to be knocked slightly off balance.
Ultimate Gambit: "I bet you've even got something to help tell you what that Red Star thing is all about. Now, I ask you: If a fight broke out between us, you probably would beat us all. But do you really think that all your toys would still be in one piece?"
Another small boom, causing one of the Helios shipments to be destroyed.
Ultimate Gambit: "I'm just saying is all. My aim's been pretty bad today. I might miss you."
Ultimate Gambit drops a lot of pebbles, destroying the main Helios refinery.
Ultimate Gambit: "I got distracted. Where was I? Oh, yeah: Can you afford to lose another home?"
Ultimate Gambit rubs a very large rock between his hands.
Ultimate E glares at him. His eyes glow red. Ultimate Gambit's rock glows brighter.
Beep.
Ultimate E taps buttons on his gauntlet and the deadzone is lifted and the transporters come back online.
Ultimate Gambit: "Another time, mon ami."
Nurhachi sticks two fingers up at E.
Nurhachi: "AAAAAA!"
And with that the Avatars disappear.
Ultimate E: "I can't believe I let them win again. This is getting ridiculous."
Ultimate Scarlet Witch: "They
are the Avatars."
Ultimate E: "Not for much longer."
THE END
NEXT ISSUE…
Epilogue – And Now For A Penultimate Word
Frederick Fufenmeier: "… Last heard screaming, 'I'll return with my army of zeppelin zombies', Fuzzy Birds was vanquished by the Sub-nics and Moonmaster in an epic battle that began in Cosmopolis and ended at the summit of Mount Everest, though Fuzzy Birds remains at large. Rene, the leader of the Sub-nics, had this to say, 'We're just glad no one was hurt.' 'And if Fuzzy Birds wants a rematch, we'll give him one.' Iceman added. In other news, another sighting of The Man Without Fear, this time in Alaska, was reported by E! According to the reports, he was apparently wandering with the superhero Ultimate Houde. There has been much debate as to The Man Without Fear's current whereabouts and doings since his sudden and unexplained disappearance from the Avatars' team roster. Some claim it had to do with the team's increasing unpopularity, which hit new heights today as corporate America called them bullies for apparently destroying the Great Golden Bowl corporation for no reason. It came to light that they blew up the processing plants that would have produced the Helios pill. 'They've put thousands out of work, damaged the stock market, and cost millions of dollars. And why? Because they don't like drugs? One of them even uses marijuana, an illegal substance. What's next? They'll blow up a Budwieser brewery while taking crack?' While this spokesperson for Wall Street may be impassioned, his argument seems to carry weight in the white collar world. People are getting more and more worried that our once former heroes, The Avatars, have started to become less and less heroic, and instead far more worrying and forceful. Some alarmists claim it has something to do with the second moon, the 'Red Star' (as dubbed by Pulitzer-prize winning reporter, Tasty Q Rockafella of Cosmopolis) which has appeared in recent weeks and grown larger. It is estimated that it will be in orbit of Earth within a month, and already preparations are underway for the possible gravitational effects. This and the leaked NASA information that is has sent an indecipherable alien code, the world is poised, wondering if this appearance is an omen of something fortuitous, or, something far more ominous. This is Frederick Fufenmeier, and you've been watching the Avatars channel."
