The Social Thread: Houde Ain't Gettin' Some Tonight

Captain Canuck said:
I don't know if I scratched my eyeball taking a contact out, or if there is something in there, or if I just have pink eye, but my right eye is bloodshot, swollen, sore, and the pupil is constricted (small).
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If you scratched you eye, you'll know. When I was little someone splashed some water and it had a pebble in it. It had scrached my eye and it hurt like hell.
 
First, I just got back from my first Root canal. Two and a half shots of novacane and I still felt a bit of pain.

Second... One of the best things (that I would consider) to ever happen, happened. That little brat that made my life a living hell is gone! She got married and moved to California. So long Leslie "The Self Righteous" Bretson. No more of her talking behind my back and distroying my character. From now on she is someone else's problem.
 
Well, we're finally getting our big snow fall of the year. And it's getting bad out there. Coming home they had to block off part of the road so they could back-up a semi truck that got stuck trying to climb a steep hill.
 
Four men traverse the globe, killing babies. No one knows why, no one can catch them, they think the are saving the world, are they?

Orlando Bloom as Ogelthorpius!

"This baby must be destroyed!"

Nathan Fillion as Geraldo McCoy

"This baby isn't a baby, no?"

Warwick Davis a Greentlin

"I will eat their tender flesh!"

And introducing Chad Tanning as Henry Totwich

"I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!"

These four men go up against three of the most deadliest people in the world!

Jorge Garcia, as the guy stuck on that island in Lost.

"I just need my number 2!"

That girl from all those Tim Burton movies as Nazisasdfas

"I will cause the end of the world with these babies!"

And Chevy Chase as Doctor Frederick Gerorick

"I'm German, and a nazi, cause I'm a mad doctor."

Are these babies just babies, OR IMMACULATE CONCEIVED HITLER CLONES!



I've had to much caffeine today
 
Ten puns for you my friends, in hopes that at least one will make you laugh:

1) I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
2) She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
3) A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
4) No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
5) A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
6) The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
7) A midget fortune-teller escaped from prison. The newspaper headlines read, "Small medium at large!"
8) Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
9) A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
10) There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
 
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Captain Canuck said:
7) A midget fortune-teller escaped from prison. The newspaper headlines read, "Small medium at large!"
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This is my son's favorite joke. He tells it to everybody.
 
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mind. blown.
 
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