Scientifically Doomed

Victor Von Doom said:
Houde: I call Shenanigans!
Doom: Shenanigans?
Houde: Shenanigans.
Joe Kalicki: Shenanigans you say?
Houde: Shenanigans says I.
McCheese: Shenanigans?
Houde: I SAID SHENANIGANS!

The crowd gasps,
Click to expand...

McCheese: Oh. So we should get back to the Shack.
Doom: It's cool. Kalicki is watching it.
Joe Kalicki: No I'm not.
Doom: Yeah…we should go.
McCheese: 'K.
Click to expand...
This is freakin hilarious
 
Victor Von Doom said:
Houde: That's because of the special ingredient you put in the frymatic everyday at 6:20.
McCheese: Oh, that is a special time in the morning for me. If I don't do it then I get cramps.
Click to expand...
:lol:

Cramps.
Houde: I call Shenanigans!
Doom: Shenanigans?
Houde: Shenanigans.
Joe Kalicki: Shenanigans you say?
Houde: Shenanigans says I.
McCheese: Shenanigans?
Houde: I SAID SHENANIGANS!
Click to expand...
SHENANIGANS!!!
 

sceintificallydoomedol0.jpg



"Strange Love"​





Houde packed up the laptop and grabbed his jacket.

Houde: Ok Doom…I'm out. I got stuff to do later so it's on you and McCheese to close up tonight.
Doom: Oh come on! You know I have a date with Vampire Veronica tonight!
Houde: Who?
Doom: Vampire Veronica. You know. The chick I was telling you about a couple days ago.
Houde: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Doom: The chick who's a biter? Remember?
Houde: No.
Doom: The one who has been making these bite marks on my neck!
Houde: Oh you mean someone has actually done that to you? I just thought you had some kinda new disease I needed to avoid and then later run lab tests on you.
Doom: Nope. This is all female-made.
Houde: Yeah…I don't care. I got someone to meet so………
Doom: Is this that brunette chick that's been hanging around you lately? Who is she?
Houde: Somebody you'll never meet.
Doom: Oh hohohohoho! Scared she'll meet me and decide to upgrade?
Houde: I'm gonna give you a tail one day.
Doom: Dude…who is she? I tell you about all my ladies and their weird nicknames. Who is she?!?!?!
Houde: Not gonna tell you.

And with that Houde grabbed his bag and walked out.

Doom just stood there with a look on his face that only spelled trouble for Houde.

Doom: McCheese…you're in charge. I've gotta go. Something just came up.



Later That Night…



Houde and the brunette girl walked down the street together.

Houde: So what are you doing this Saturday?
Brunette: Don't know just yet. Why?
Houde: I was thinking maybe you wanna grab some lunch and then maybe a movie?
Brunette: Sounds like a plan. That just means I won't be able to go out Friday. I'll have to spend the entire evening studying and finishing up all my work so as I'm not cramming on Sunday night.
Houde: That's cool. What are you working on that's so important?
Brunette: Just this report on bees. Did you know that there are no male bees? Only female bees. It's one of the main reasons why I can't watch that Bee Movie. It's so inaccurate that I'd run out the theater screaming and pulling out my hair and clawing the faces of nearby babies.
Houde: Wow. How graphic. You do realize that you're the only one who cares about stuff like that?
Brunette: I know. I sweat the small stuff.

The brunette girl stopped walking and looked around with a quizzical look on her face.

Houde: What's wrong?
Brunette: I don't know. I got this strange sense we're being watched or followed. Do you feel it too?
Houde: Sigh.
Brunette: What is it? You feel it too?
Houde: I'm seriously gonna give him a tail.
Brunette: Huh?
Houde: DOOOM! Show yourself.

Doom dropped down from a nearby tree across the street.

Brunette: Ummm…why is Sam Fisher following us?
Houde: Sam Fisher?
Doom: Nice one! Can I get a hi-five up top? Come one…hit me one time!

Doom put his hand up. The brunette girl just stood there and left Doom hanging.

Doom: Not cool.
Houde: I have no clue what you're talking about.
Doom: Sam Fisher. The guy from Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell.
Houde: Yeah…nothing.
Doom: How come she was cool enough to make that reference and you didn't get it? That puts her like 3 levels of cool higher than you. How did you score that?
Brunette: Ummm…hello. Answers?

Houde sighed. Hard.

Houde: I'm gonna give you a tail. You know that right?
Doom: Can it be a like a totally usable monkey tail?
Houde: I hate you so much. Doom…this is TwilightEl. Twi for short. Twi…this is Doom.
Doom: Sup?
Twi: Hey.
Houde: Twi, Doom is my partner at The Shack.
Twi: Oh. Ok. Nice to meet you Doom. I think.
Doom: So…how'd you end up with this wanker?
Houde: And on that note----we're leaving. Come on Twi.

Houde shook his head in disbelief and put his arm around Twilight and the 2 walked off.

Doom: What I do? You guys just gonna walk off like that?
Houde: AND DON'T FOLLOW US ANYMORE!

Doom just stood there as the 2 of them walked off.



The Next Morning…



Doom walked into the kitchen. Houde sat there eating Cheerios.

Doom: Hey.

Houde didn't respond.

Doom: So…hope my little spy adventure last night didn't salt your game.

Houde still didn't respond.

Doom: You know this is all your fault right? You can't blame me for you not scoring just because I kinda interrupted your date.

Houde still said nothing.

Doom: Oh come on man! You gotta say something to me!

Houde: Tail.

Houde put the bowl of Cheerios in the sink and walked off.



Later at The Shack…



Doom and Joe Kalicki sat there.

Doom: I don't know Joe Kalicki. I don't know why he's so mad at me. I share everything with him. I even showed him the spot on a man's body where if you hit it correctly, you can make his head explode.
Kalicki: Oooo! Can you show me that too?
Doom: No.
Kalicki: Awwww.
Doom: I just can't figure out why he won't tell me all about this girl. Normally he would.
Kalicki: Oh…maybe he got her pregnant and he's contemplating on how to propose to her and maybe he was gonna do it last night and you ruined the moment?

Had there been anyone around when they were having this conversation, people would've actually been able to see a light bulb appear over Doom's head.

Doom: Joe Kalicki…I think you're onto something. That's gotta be the reason. He's scared to introduce her to me because he loves her and is scared of how he's gonna ask me if it's ok for her to move in so they can start building a home! He's worried I won't accept he like she's family. Joe Kalicki you're a ****in' genius!
Kalicki: I know.

Joe Kalicki took a bite of his chili cheeseburger and some chili spilled onto his shirt.

Kalicki: Awwwww.

Doom jumped outta his seat and ran off. Then he immediately ran back to the table for one last bite of Joe Kalicki's chili cheese fries. Then he ran off again.



That Afternoon At The Apartment…



Houde sat in his lab staring thru a microscope.

Houde: Fascinating! If I increase the estrogen levels in the formula, I can actually give him boobs in addition to a tail. Must make note of that!

Doom came bursting into the lab in a mad dash.

Doom: Hey guy! What you doing?
Houde: Nothing.
Doom: You're doing something. Nobody can actually be doing nothing. Hey…got a question…
Houde: The answer is no.
Doom: You don't even know what I was gonna ask.
Houde: Don't care.
Doom: Ok, well my question is---when's the next time you're gonna see Twilight?
Houde: None of your business.
Doom: Dude…it's ok. I get it. I know why you didn't want to introduce her to me.
Houde: Do you now?
Doom: Yeah. It wasn't hard to figure out. I'm dumb you know?

Houde stood up and grabbed his keys.

Houde: I'm gonna leave now. And as I walk out, the lab security settings have been set to automatically lock onto my DNA. So long as I'm here, the security system won't activate. But as soon as I leave, a complex system of lasers will bounce around the room and cut only biological items. And I assure you…unlike your theory about breakdancing being able to allow you to dodge every attack like in Ocean's 12…it won't work and you WILL be cut in half.
Doom: You gotta hear me out.
Houde: No I don't. And goodbye.

Houde walked out the lab and left Doom standing there. Some flashing lights caught the attention of Doom and he quickly ran outta there.



Later That Evening At The Shack…



Doom walked into the back and saw McCheese wiping down the counters.

McCheese: Hey boss.
Doom: Hey Cheese. I came in to help you close.
McCheese: Cool.
Doom: Plus I have a favor to ask.
McCheese: Really? What is it?
Doom: Ok…so you know how Houde's been mad at me for the past day?
McCheese: Yeah.
Doom: Well after talking to Joe Kalicki about it, the 2 of us figured out why he's so mad and I've come up with an elaborate plan on how to fix it all.
McCheese: Cool. So what is it?
Doom: Well it's a 3-part plan. I need to know whether you're in or out from beginning to end?
McCheese: Yeah I'm down.
Doom: You sure?
McCheese: Yeah.
Doom: Positive?
McCheese: Yes.
Doom: Ok. I had to test you first because I can't tell you the plan and then have you run off and spill the beans and thus spoiling the surprise.
McCheese: You can count on me!
Doom: Ok. Great. Meet me back here tomorrow night and we'll go over the plans. Houde will be so pleased with us that there's no way he can hate me anymore. Yep. This plan is guaranteed to be foolproof.







To Be Continued.....
 
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