Law & Order: UC Episode 5

Seven Days Ago

OurChair: Gadzooks Compound, we're needed!

OurChair and Compound ran up from their downstairs office to the lobby of the precinct. They, like everyone else in the building, heard the gunshot, but unlike the others, never saw GMaster stumble out and fall. Immediately they ran up to the body.

OurChair: Compound, you know what to do, right?

Compound opened up his fannypack, and ruffled through it, and pulled out a piece of chalk.

OurChair: EVERYONE STAND BACK!

It should be noted, no one was near the body at all.

OurChair: AND STAY CALM. WE ARE POLICE!

The other occupants of the police station, including a Nurhachi, who was woken up by the gunshot and rubbing the sandman out of his eyes, just gave OurChair a weird look.

OurChair looked down at what Compound was doing.

OurChair: Compound? No, draw an outline of the body.
Compound: No no have fun...
OurChair: This is serious Compound.
Compound: I know that.

Compound erases the drawing of Pippy Longstocking he drew on the floor, and goes to trace the body.

A disshevelled man, smoking a cigarette and holding an easel, walks over to the two Asians.

Man: Mind if I interview the body?
OurChair: What? THe body is dead?
Man: I know, I want to see if he can tell me what the man looks like
OurChair: Damn it Johnny Freeze, you interview live people, not dead ones.
JohnnyFreeze: I do what I want.

He walks over to the dead body of GMaster.

JohnnyFreeze: Now, dead guy, what did the man look like? Dead guy...listen, if you don't cooperate, then I'm going to have to hurt you.
OurChair: What? Freeze, just get away.
JohnnyFreeze: Fine, if you need me, I'll be making Flash cartoons. I'm Juggernaut *****.

Bass and Houde, having just arrived, walk up to the prone GMaster.

Bass: Compound, we need to run the full set of tests for this.
Houde: He's holding something, OurChair, you got gloves, what is it?

OurChair reaches in and pulls out a tape recorder. There is a bullet hole in the tape recorder, but the tape itself seems fine.

OurChair: Me and Compound need to go through this.
Houde: Good, me and Bass will get Utimate Gambit. He's an outside source to ivestigate this crime. Nigma, ICE! Make sure no one touches anything.
 
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The tentative order of flashbacks...

Seven Days Ago
Ultimate Gambit
Compound

Six Days Ago
Ice
Ultimate Gambit
Rhyo

Five Days ago
Manwithoutfear
Hawkeye101
Ultimate Gambit

Four Days ago
Bass
Nurhachi
Manwithoutfear

Three Days Ago
Nigma
Skotti
Cad

Two Days Ago
Doc Comic
Goodwill
Ultimate Gambit

Yesterday
E
DJF
DIrishB

Today
Ultimate Gambit

I'm aware Gambit has a high number of appearences, and since he is the lead investigator, that is why. Everyone will be mentioned at least once in this arc I think, so no worries.
 
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*dies laughing*

"I'm Juggernaut *****"

don't ask me why that's struck me so damn funny.
 
Two parts in the next episode!

First, the introduction to the mastermind that is Ultimate Gambit. He is insane, out of control, and completely rational. He finds out conspiracies that no one has ever thought of, and Bass and Houde recruit him to clear E!

And the second part, Compound figures out what was on the tape.

And it makes him cry.
 
Seven Days Ago

Houde: So, this guy is good?
Bass: That's what I was told
Houde: But he is good right?
Bass: I think so. E was really mean to us earlier...
Houde: You think? You should get over it.
Bass: I can remember it like it was yesterday
Houde: Dude, it was about ten minutes ago. Right before he sent us to get Ultimate Gambit
Bass: The smell of that dead body was still in the air..

Earlier
Bass: I think I'm going on a diet
Houde: Okay, let's not think about the dead guy in the building that was supposingly shot by our own guy, let's thin about our waistline.
Bass: Yeah, the grapefruit diet
Nurhachi: I'm on the kono pizza diet
Houde: Kono pizza diet?
Nurhachi: Yeah, you can eat as much as you want, as long as it's kono pizza
MWoF: Makes perfect sense.
Houde: Sure it does
Skotti: I lost alot of weight
Bass: Doing what?
Skotti: I lost alot of weight once.
Houde: How?
Skotti: Well, my girlfried dumped me for a skinnier model. So I lost a whole bunch of weight by slapping her around alot.
Bass: I love grapefruit.
Houde: You got some donut on your chin
Bass: Thanks.

E comes walking out of the office, shaking

E: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
Skotti: We're talking about diets.
E: Really? Should I buy you guys a TV, and some yarn so you can knit and watch your damn soaps?
Houde: That's a good one.
E: Shut up HOUDE! You and Bass are going to get Ultimate Gambit. NOW!
Houde: OKAY!
Bass: He stole my grapefruit.

The present, well, the seven days ago present, not the actual present. Try and keep up, will ya? DIrishB can map out the Ultimate Universe (shameless plug) then you can keep up with my time table

Punks

Houde: I can't believe he stole your grapefruit
Bass: This is the place.

The two cops walk into the apartment building to find a door open and a huge mess in the room. Pulling out their pistols, they follow the voice emitting from within.

Houde: Freeze POLICE!
Ultimate Gambit: You see this!

He holds up a Whopper wrapper

Ultimate Gambit: You know what this means, don't you?
Bass: Let me take a stab. Using that Whopper Wrapper, one can make a tinfoil hat, and use that to triplecate the whereabouts of the funtastical field. That in turn will show you what the aliens have been doing, and how they stole the sandals from the Statue of Liberty's feet.
Houde: What the ****?
Ultimate Gambit: No, it shows Doc Comic was in here. He borrowed my playstation. What do you two want?
Houde: We need you to help out E?
Ultimate Gambit: Why?
Bass: Because, he finally murdered
Ultimate Gambit: No case is too hard for me to solve.
Bass: Good
Ultimate Gambit: Where's my forty bucks?
Houde: Forty bucks?
Ultimate Gambit: Yea, forty bucks, where is it?
Bass: Gorram it, E never told us about forty bucks.
Houde: This ruttin' sucks.
Ultimate Gambit: Or I will work for Girl Scout cookies.
Bass: Girl Scout cookies it is!
 
Ultimate Houde said:
E: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
Skotti: We're talking about diets.
E: Really? Should I buy you guys a TV, and some yarn so you can knit and watch your damn soaps?
Houde: That's a good one.
E: Shut up HOUDE! You and Bass are going to get Ultimate Gambit. NOW!
Houde: OKAY!
Bass: He stole my grapefruit.
Click to expand...

HA HA, reminds me of dialogue from Sealab 2021


The present, well, the seven days ago present, not the actual present. Try and keep up, will ya? DIrishB can map out the Ultimate Universe (shameless plug) then you can keep up with my time table

Punks
Click to expand...

Heh, heh, that pot head...

He holds up a Whopper wrapper

Ultimate Gambit: You know what this means, don't you?
Bass: Let me take a stab. Using that Whopper Wrapper, one can make a tinfoil hat, and use that to triplecate the whereabouts of the funtastical field. That in turn will show you what the aliens have been doing, and how they stole the sandals from the Statue of Liberty's feet.
Houde: What the ****?
Ultimate Gambit: No, it shows Doc Comic was in here. He borrowed my playstation. What do you two want?
Click to expand...
Freakin brillant
 
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