Ultimates 3 #1-5 discussion [Loeb/Madureira] [spoilers]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Also, Loeb in four panels for your amusement:

20080922supermanbatman.png
 
Bass said:
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Also, Loeb in four panels for your amusement:
Click to expand...

WOW. So very true. :lol::lol::lol:

It's funny, though, but I actually enjoyed his Superman/Batman stories. It seems he only knew how to write those characters.
 
To save you money:

OMG ROBOTS!

Via Ultron's convenient expository recording, we're basically shown what was going on the entire time. Venom was just a robot (thank god). Tony is captive!

Ultron and his Ultronimates go to fight Magneto, in hopes of starting a Human/Mutant war. Why Ultron chooses to go with his Ultronimates (given the fact that we later learn they don't work when he's dead) Is unexplained.

Don't worry! We're also not given any reasoning behind Cap's masquerading as Black Panther!

Okay! So! The Real Ultimates + Wolverine + Ka-zar + Pym, Janet, and Tony (who snuck on with Ultron) fight against the Ultronimates in the savage land and, in the worst one liner ever, Pym rips off Ultron's head.

Ultron to Wasp, as he's trying to kill her:
"I'd rather not kill you jan, my experiementation on your DNA has only begun. Besides.... you're like a mother to me."

Pym: "Then I guess that makes me the MOTHER****ER!"

:shock:

After this, the Ultronimates are deactivated. The Ultimates are talking to Magneto, evading possible war, when Hawkeye fires a metal arrow at him. Instead of stopping this arrow with his control over metal, Quicksilver jumps infront of Magneto and takes the shot. He dies. Magneto is pissed and runs off.

The final three pages:
Magneto crying over his dead children...swearing the Ultimate Universe will pay THE ULTIMATE PRICE.
Wasp telling Cap to loosen up on Hank- and that if he as a problem with Giant Man on the team, he can FIND A NEW TEAM!!!!!
And...
The grand finale...
A metallic hand is holding Ultron's severed head, dialog prattling on about how Pym could've NEVER made Ultron alone, and that all of what just happened...with the war plan, with the killing of scarlet witch...was all the plan of...

DOCTOR DOOM!

Duhn Duhn Duhn!

Making fun of this book is like making fun of a retarded younger cousin. It's so easy, but at the same time, he can't help it.
I feel so dirty.
 
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Sacred&Profane said:
To save you money:

OMG ROBOTS!

Via Ultron's convenient expository recording, we're basically shown what was going on the entire time. Venom was just a robot (thank god). Tony is captive!

Ultron and his Ultronimates go to fight Magneto, in hopes of starting a Human/Mutant war. Why Ultron chooses to go with his Ultronimates (given the fact that we later learn they don't work when he's dead) Is unexplained.

Don't worry! We're also not given any reasoning behind Cap's masquerading as Black Panther!

Okay! So! The Real Ultimates + Wolverine + Ka-zar + Pym, Janet, and Tony (who snuck on with Ultron) fight against the Ultronimates in the savage land and, in the worst one liner ever, Pym rips off Ultron's head.

Ultron to Wasp, as he's trying to kill her:
"I'd rather not kill you jan, my experiementation on your DNA has only begun. Besides.... you're like a mother to me."

Pym: "Then I guess that makes me the MOTHER****ER!"

:shock:

After this, the Ultronimates are deactivated. The Ultimates are talking to Magneto, evading possible war, when Hawkeye fires a metal arrow at him. Instead of stopping this arrow with his control over metal, Quicksilver jumps infront of Magneto and takes the shot. He dies. Magneto is pissed and runs off.

The final three pages:
Magneto crying over his dead children...swearing the Ultimate Universe will pay THE ULTIMATE PRICE.
Wasp telling Cap to loosen up on Hank- and that if he as a problem with Giant Man on the team, he can FIND A NEW TEAM!!!!!
And...
The grand finale...
A metallic hand is holding Ultron's severed head, dialog prattling on about how Pym could've NEVER made Ultron alone, and that all of what just happened...with the war plan, with the killing of scarlet witch...was all the plan of...

DOCTOR DOOM!

Duhn Duhn Duhn!

Making fun of this book is like making fun of a retarded younger cousin. It's so easy, but at the same time, he can't help it.
I feel so dirty.
Click to expand...

Wow. So bad. Can Ultimatum actually be worse than this?
 
mike3717 said:
Wow. So bad. Can Ultimatum actually be worse than this?
Click to expand...

I hope so. Otherwise, this will seem like a total waste.

That really is terrible. So we finally got confirmation that Black Panther is really Captain America, right?

It sounds like a Loeb book through and through, though: a series of non-sensical special guest appearances all leading to a shocking mastermind that really doesn't have any pay-off, or even logic.

Oh, and sorry Lynx, but Superman/Batman was pretty bad.
 
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Zombipanda said:
I hope so. Otherwise, this will seem like a total waste.

That really is terrible. So we finally got confirmation that Black Panther is really Captain America, right?

It sounds like a Loeb book through and through, though: a series of non-sensical special guest appearances all leading to a shocking mastermind that really doesn't have any pay-off, or even logic.

Oh, and sorry Lynx, but Superman/Batman was pretty bad.
Click to expand...

Panther is, indeed, Captain America.

Oh: and Valkryie is almost raped by Mastermind and Pyro before a mysterious presence tells her to come out of the illusion, that it didn't "give her all this power for noting..." She then proceeds to decapitate Mastermind and chop of Pyro's hands as he pleads with her, citing his having once been an X-Man.
 
Sacred&Profane said:
Panther is, indeed, Captain America.

Oh: and Valkryie is almost raped by Mastermind and Pyro before a mysterious presence tells her to come out of the illusion, that it didn't "give her all this power for noting..." She then proceeds to decapitate Mastermind and chop of Pyro's hands as he pleads with her, citing his having once been an X-Man.
Click to expand...

for real real? Ugh.

It's like this is the same guy who's writing for Heroes.

Oh... Wait a second.... :D
 
... **** you Loeb, and **** you Joe Q, **** everybody who allowed this piece of **** to go on. **** all of you.
 
Leob is terrible. Somebody should tell him that stringing random events together does not build mystery. There were no clues to be gleaned. No suspense built. Hush was the same thing, but some idiots gave him rave reviews for that crap.

Note to Leob: Random events in rapid succession is a bad acid trip, not a satisfying comicbook arc.
 
mike3717 said:
Why?
Click to expand...

Exact quote from the book:

Jan: "You want to tell me what the hell is going on here? Why were you dressed as The Panther? Where is the real Panther? Is there a real black panther?

Cap: "We'll discuss it later, Jan. Right now, Magneto is the priority."
 
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This book reads like it was written by a twelve-year-old.

Or a group of manatees with idea balls.
 
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Venom Melendez said:
Manatees could write a better story.
Click to expand...

This is the story

Of two manatees named Remy and Paul

Paul: Remy, you can't go floating on the surface anymore! It's too dangerous!

Remy: You don't understand, Paul! I live for this!

(cut to surface, boat being driven by Loeb is heading for Paul)

Paul:...Come on!

Manatee Chicken: A Love Story
 
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