UC: Stuck

Flashback

E was in a diner, looking at a TV. He was rambling under his breath, talking about changing his destiny.

Eventually, the seat next to him is taken, and a man orders some fish and chips.

Bass: Hey mate, why you so tense.
E: I'm trying to think of a way to change the world.
Bass: Oh, can you pass the vinegar?
E: No

He passes the vinegar anyways.

Bass: So, today, I was in a fight
E: Really now
BAss: Not really, but I rushed towards it, it was awesome
E: Well, I did nothing today, I'm still trying to figure out a way to take over the world, and you know what doesn't help? Stupid Englishmen talking to me.
Bass: Oh.

A moment of silence as Bass thoughtfully ate a french fry.

Bass: You should build a machine on a deserted island.
E: That so stupid
Bass: No, seriously, I saw it on a show once. You build a machine on an island, and then, you can take over the world, and no one would know.
E: You want a job
Bass: Got benefits?
E: Full dental and health
Bass: Two week vacations.
E: Vacations? If we build this on a deserted island, why would we need vacations?
Bass: Agree, or I walk
E: I already have your idea
Bass: I'll copyright it
E: Fine, two weeks worth of vacations a year. But you can't hold on to them
Bass: Works for me.

HE munches on another fry.

Bass: So, when do I start
E: Now!
Bass: Now? I can't start now.
E: Whynot?
BAss: I got friends up here, and a girlfriend and all that. Your asking me to change my life.

He takes a bite out of the fish.

Bass: Nice batter, it's thin, but crispy, what I like. I need a pint.
E: You don't have a girlfriend.
Bass: What makes you say that? I'm dashing, debonar!
E: Your self centered.
Bass: Point taken.

Eats some more fish.

Bass: This is really good. If I'm coming to a deserted island, you should have this cook come too.

E looks over at the cook.

E: You want a job.
Cook: Well, I want three weeks instead of two.
E: You're in, name?
Cook: Cad.
 
Shanty-Town

Zombiepanda: By the stars!

The explosion resulting from McCheese's dastardly plan, and Sjmole's sacrifice lit up the night sky, causing bright lights, fireworks, and alot of property damage.

Right now, alot of people were happy they bought insurance from Planet-man.

Baxter: What did he do?
Ultimate Quicksilver: Gave us a chance to strike. LEt's do this.
Zombiepanda: Yippee!
Random: WAIT!

Everyone stopped to look at Random.

Random: We need a battle cry, we just can't run right in there screaming our throats sore!
Baxter: We don't have time for thi...

TGO ran full tilt at the campsite, screaming.

TGO: FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY DURING 6:20!

The rest of the survivors looked at each other, shrugged, and run forward, screaming the same thing.

And then, fights broke out.

Baxter was the first. He eyes the weakest target he could find, a trembling Ultimate Bigby, and screamed at the top of his lungs.

Baxter: WINDMILL ATTACK!

He charged, doing his patented windmill attack. TGO and Moonmaster, wielding the chair and plank once again, drove into the Others, smashing anybody over the head.

But at one point, they got too excited, and ended up attacking a tree for a few minutes before they realized it wasn't a human being.

Up next came Zombipanda, weilding a gun, and shooting with accuracy.

Too bad he only shoot at empty bottle.

Zombipanda: HA! They said my target practice wouldn't work!

Bass came walking out of the bar, and into the chaos, drinking a Guiness in a bottle.

Then, Zombipanda shot it.

Bass: NO!!!!! MY BEER!!!!!!
Zombipanda: Booya bad guy!

Bass looked up at Zombipanda.

Bass: By the NExus that is me! OTHERS! CHARGE!

Ice was first, coming out of a hut, holding a duck, and about twenty were following him.

Ice: Want a duck Random?

He threw the duick he was holding into Random's face. The thing chriped repeatedly, and bit Random's nose.

Random: IT HURTS!

Cad came out next, weilding fried food, and negotiating with people to eat the food instead of fighting.

It worked for the most part, until TGO knocked Cad's food tray out of his hand.

Cad: I worked for ours on those muffins.
Ice: He is the Muffins man afterall.

The fighting stopped long enough for the sound of a rimshot to be heard, before it picked back up again.
 
I missed the boat and now I'm doing all your women.

That's my one sentence short story contribution.
 
:shock: You ..... You blew me up!!!!!


I would complain but damn it it's too much like a cartoon / loony toon death not to laugh my *** off at it. :lol:
 
While the survivors of the wreck kept most of E's henchman busy, one person was sneaking around, to the back.

McCheese: I am one sneaky little devil.

He crept up behind a house, and peaked inside a window. He saw some scientist guy, and a man wearing sunglasses and a goatee standing there. He smiled.

McCheese: McCheese is going to get him some sunglasses.

First, you should get some help

McCheese: Cannonfodder? Anymore unsuspecting people around?

Plenty, but I'm thinking something a tad better than cannonfodder, like an angry black man.

McCheese: I like angry black men.

McCheese looked over to the right to see another house, and heard someone screaming something inside.

He walked that way.

Inside the house

Planet-Man: Seriously, you should buy some prisoner's insurance.
VVD: You can take your damn insurance and SHOVE IT!
Planet-Man: That's your fault.
VVD: There's alot of noise out there.
Planet-Man: Yea, Maybe an invasion...I'm sure I have insurance forms for that around here somewhere.
VVD: Whose that? The guy who walked in here? I think it's one of Baxter's friends...
Planet-Man: I know him, MCCHEESE! You're here to free us?
McCheese: Maybe, you know of any good angry black men around here?
VVD: Should I punch you now?
McCheese: I got the man you can punch.

McCheese went to work on the lock.

While this was going on, Project managed to avoid most of the fighting, and made his way to rescue Houde. He found a house, peeked inside, and saw Houde, fighting E, his former mailman.

Project: So it is him.

Project walked inside.

E: Stop it Houde, damn your gorilla hands!
Houde: HA! You're never going to press that button
E: You fool, it wouldn't work anyways, I need his blood!
Project: Whose?

Both combatants stopped and look at Project.

Houde: You fool! RUN!
E: About time you got here!
Project: Well, I just figured out it was you, okay?
Houde: Wait....What?
Project: I work for E, he hired me.
E: Well, brainwashed him, but that's such a bad term, I'd rather say hired. It sounds better.
Project: Well E is it time?
E: To burn down this island and sell all the assest? Let's do this!
Houde: You've been working for E the whole time?
Project: Yeah, which is weird considering that Cad attacked me to get you, and then Ice showed up, blew Cad's cover not mine, and I'm sure we could put forth a bunch of weird strange theories to way things happened the way they did, but the writer just wanted a twist at the end, that's all. And plus, I'm a mod, you should have seen this coming from the beginning.
Houde: Whoa, that's deep.

VVD, McCheese, and Planet-Man entered the room.

Houde: VVD!

VVD looked around and punched E.

Then he punched Planet-Man.

VVD: I've been waiting to do that for awhile.
Houde: NO! Stop Project, he's the one who needs to activate the machine!
VVD: What?
McCheese: That's an awesome plot twist.

I'm proud of it

McCheese: Well, let's get him!

Project dived for the machine after biting his finger and getting it bleed. Everyone dived for Project. His hand reached out, and pressed the button, and the sky flashed white.

Or maybe violet, or red, I don't know, people will argue over the color anyways because they think it matters.

FLASH!!!!​

Houde woke up, being looked down by VVD, Project and MWoF.

Houde: GAH!
Project: He's awake?
Houde: I am? Wait...there was an island, a steamboat wreck....fires, strange machines, some black kid robbing people in a gorilla smoke monster.
Project: You okay?
Houde: Your name is Project, isn't it? And your VVD, and your MWoF!
Project: Dude, the name's Craig.
VVD: I'm Jay.
MWoF: And Tom, how the hell do you pronouce MWoF?
Houde: Did I dream it?
Craig: I have no idea man, you passed out from ehat stroke though, you drank one to many appletinis.
Houde: Alright....Okay....I need to relax.
Craig: Yea, never seen anyone on this planet flip out like that before.
Jay: I know, looks like he woke up on a foriegn planet or something. He probably thinks the name of it is Earth, or something queer like that.
Tom: And people call me drunk.
Houde: Wait, what? The planet name, what is it?
Craig: Does it matter?
Houde: YES!
Tom: Everyone knows the planet name is Eric. Duh. Earth is such a stupid name for a planet.
Houde: NO! HE WON!

Ominous music plays as the camera pans away, revealing a steamboat traveling merrily down the Mississippi River. It focuses on the side, where the symbol Random drew on the sand is there, then, it swivels to the shoreline, showing E standing there, laughing, as he succedded in changing the name of the world!

No one liked the old one anyways.

Right?

THE END​
 
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