I think the "spear not thrown" might be relating to a grounded arrested development. Agressiveness towards vilified "not-self" blockades (bad mothers motif, for instance), not taking responsability for yourself, your doings, your lackings etc.
It's all very recurrent, no? That bad-evil parents figures complex, those freudians undercurrents, the wife and mistress fighting each other (Sally Sonic, just another ***** stealing Elektra's daddy), the dozens I can't remember properly, the imature agressiveness towards these vilifed figures, the fear in taking their place, it's responsability (the symbolic, and true, killing) etc.
It's a fail-safe magic of sorts no? Guaranting that even if IT doesn't strikes (as in, DO strike by not growing, by not taking flight. By throwing the lance and not the Lance), it comes through in the end afterall. It does strikes. "Somehow we beat them".
Well that's just what I like to read in that.