Ultimate Central: The Fanfic - Volume Twelve
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McCheese
Well-Known Member
Ultimate Houde
UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
I'll buy that one.
Once I get enough cash to do so.
Once I get enough cash to do so.
Random
Didn't **** any of those *****es
McCheese
Well-Known Member
Computer problems. I haven't been able to get online from my computer for most of the week. It'll be up within the hour.
McCheese
Well-Known Member
Houde's Wrecked Kitchen
J. Agamemnon and Houde battle fiercely. These two master swordsman's blades slice through the air with precision timing and great strength. They are sporting some minor cuts, but both have yet to strike a decisive blow.
J. Agamemnon: You're good. This is fun.
Houde: You're not too bad yourself.
J. Agamemnon: You kidding? I'm not bad? I'm great!
Houde: I read a file about your Ultimate counterpart. Why aren't your swords talking?
J. Agamemnon: Talking swords? That's weird.
Houde: It gets weirder. Your double is a girl named Hibiki.
J. Agamemnon: I AM NOT A GIRL!!!
Agamemnon attacks Houde with righteous fury.
J. Agamemnon: Wait. Is she hot?
The Project:
McCheese: Sound wave manipulator and Antidisestablishmentarianist.
Skotti-Chan: Think Blink.
Ultimate Houde: Swordsman and Homeowner.
Victor Von Doom: Unbreakable badass.
Houde's Soon To Be Wrecked Local Park
Skott and Skotti pop out of a portal into a beautiful and peaceful park.
Skotti: You ready?
Skott: Actually, I thought we might skip the fighting.
Skotti: Huh?
Skott: Listen, I really prefer to avoid fighting if at all possible. And since you weren't one of the targets we came for then I'm accomplishing my mission by just by keeping you sitting here until the others finish up. So I thought…
He opens up a portal and retrieves a chess board.
Skott: You and I might play.
Skotti looks more than a little incredulous.
Skotti: Seriously?
Skott: Seriously. I promise that if you play then I won't attack anyone today. We can each choose to trust in our teammates and sit this one out. What do you say?
Skotti: Fine, but I've got another stipulation. If I win then you tell me why you people keep attacking Doom and Cheese.
Skott: Deal.
The two of them sit down at a picnic bench and begin a friendly game of chess.
Houde's Wrecked Street
Doom and Salvation continue to ineffectively pound on one another. Doom makes the hand signal for a time out.
VVD: Time!
Salvation: What is it?
VVD: Can we cut this out. I'm all for violence, but damn it, it makes me sick to my stomach to hit someone this pretty.
Salvation: I know the feeling.
VVD: So can we stop?
Salvation: Sorry, no.
VVD: Why the hell no…
He's cut off by a giant sand fist clocking him in the jaw. It sends him crashing into a nearby parked car. He gets up, runs to a fire hydrant, and kicks the hydrant down the street. Salvation closes in as the water vein shoots into the sky. Doom redirects the water and shoots it towards Salvation. The pressurized water hits him hard. He slowly dissolves into a gelatinous goop that Doom washes down a storm drain. Doom wipes away a single manly tear.
VVD: Why!? Why'd you make me do it, you beautiful bastard!?
Houde's Wrecked Living Room
McCheese is dying painfully on the living room floor. He struggles to his feet and curses profusely. Each time he does he sends a blast off into the white void hoping it connects with his invisible doppelganger, but he gets cut across the back again.
McCheese: GOD DAMN!
He falls to his knees again. He quiets his mind and listens to the footsteps of his double. He turns to scream at him, but the King dodges just in time. The King counters and Cheese barely manages to avoid his latest attack. Cheese silently curses his double's physical abilities. Even without having to use his trigger word McCheese still has to focus his emotions each time he attacks. The King is watching his head's every movement and is quick enough to avoid every scream. McCheese knows that he needs a surprise if he's going to catch his opponent off guard. He wracks his mind for an answer while trying to dodge attacks based on the sound of the King's footsteps. The King charges in again. Suddenly, a thought occurs to McCheese. He drops down and slaps the ground. He feels the sound vibrations from the slap and turns them into destructive blast that rips up the floorboards underneath his opponent. The King loses his footing and collapses in front of McCheese. With his opponent subdued McCheese takes a deep breath and screams at him.
McCheese: GET OUT!!!
His voice booms and the King is rocketed out of the house into the back of a passing semi-truck. His illusion is lifted and McCheese is returned to the now completely destroyed living room. Cheese smiles and sits down on what's left of the couch.
The Kitchen… OF DESTRUCTION
Houde and Agamemnon stare each other down. The two combatants are tired and find themselves in a stalemate when they hear the conclusion of McCheese's fight. They both turn towards the scream and see the King crash through the side of a passing semi-truck. The truck driver doesn't seem to notice and continues as if nothing had happened.
J. Agamemnon: Ch! We'll finish this later!
Houde: Whatever. Just get the hell out of my house.
J. rushes out the back door and chases after the semi. Houde watches him go and sighs in relief. Suddenly, the ceiling fan collapses on the ground next to him.
Houde: MOTHER****ER!!!
The Picnic Table… OF EXPOSITION
Skott-Kun and Skotti-Chan engage in a close chess match. Skotti moves her queen.
Skotti: Mate.
Skott: Well played.
Skotti: Back at you.
Skott: Well, the others must be done by now.
He opens a portal, tosses the chessboard and pieces through, and closes it back up. He opens up a second portal and turns to shake Skotti's hand.
Skott: I'll be off then.
Skotti: I don't think so. You owe me an explanation.
Skott: Oh, right. I forgot about that.
Skotti: I bet.
Skott closes the portal and sits back down.
Skott: The first attack was a simple revenge trip by Professor Houdenmeyer, a high ranking 616 Central official. But during that fight McCheese began the process of advancing past his trigger word. His new abilities were enough evidence to convince the Emperor that he might be "The Breath".
Skotti: The Breath?
Skott: There is an old prophesy that three men called The Trinity would play a crucial role in the defeat of a powerful ruler. The Emperor believes he is that ruler and he fears The Trinity; The Breath of The Internet, The Word of The Internet, and The Path of The Internet. The ancient seer described these three individuals as a wounded jester, a silenced swordsman, and a hardened warrior.
Skotti: So when the Emperor got wind of Houde the swordsman, Doom the rock hard soldier, and Cheese the blowhard working together during the first attack he got twitchy?
Skotti: Exactly. He thought we might be able to finish Cheese before he accessed his true power and nullify the prophecy before it ever got off the ground.
Skott stands up and opens another portal.
Skott: I've said entirely too much, but I'm a man of my word. I'm not a big believer in the prophecy myself and if my team was successful than this information is useless anyway.
He steps through the portal and closes it behind him. Skotti takes a second to analyze the information before following suit.
The Living Room… OF VICTORY
Skotti's portal appears in Houde's living room while Houde is in mid rant and Doom and Cheese are chilling on the couch. Cheese also happens to be bleeding profusely. As she steps out she catches the tail end of Houde's rage.
Houde: I JUST BOUGHT THIS PLACE! LOOK AT IT! THERE'S NO WALL FACING THE STREET! IT'S GONE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
Skotti: Wow. I hope you have house insurance.
McCheese: Hey, Skotti. I need more bandages.
Houde: You need emergency medical treatment, you dingbat. There's more of your blood on my floor than there is in your body.
McCheese: You think?
VVD: Nah, walk it off little buddy.
He pats McCheese on the shoulder, but Cheese has just passed out from blood loss and the pat knocks him to what's left of the floor.
VVD: Whoops.
Skotti opens a portal to the hospital.
Skotti: While we're getting him patched up I can fill you guys in on the info I just won from my double.
VVD: Yeah, I might as well tag along. Cheese destroyed your satellite dish anyway.
Houde: I've changed my mind. Let him die.
Doom carries Cheese through the portal. Houde and Skotti follow.
The Street… OF DEFEAT
The King wakes up in the back of the semi-truck. He looks out through the side where he crashed into the truck. He waits for it to slow down before cutting open the back doors and jumping out. His right arm is broken and hangs loosely at his side. J. Agamemnon runs up to him short of breath and Skott teleports to their position with a very goopy Salvation in tow.
J. Agamemnon: Are *huff* you *huff* alright? *cough*
The King nods yes.
Salvation: Should we go back and finish them?
The King shakes his head no.
Skott: We have to report this to the Emperor.
The King nods again.
J. Agamemnon: Report *huff* what?
Skott: The Trinity is active.
The Hospital… OF SUMMATION
Doom, Skotti, and Houde sit outside Cheese's hospital room and discuss the news of the day.
VVD: Trinity, huh?
Skotti: That's what he told me.
Houde: I don't believe in prophecies; especially not enemy prophecies.
VVD: Doesn't matter if it's true or not. What matters is that the Emperor believes it enough to try and stop us from coming together. This gives us a psychological edge.
A doctor steps out of McCheese's room and motions to the others.
Skotti: Well?
Doctor: He'll be alright, but his injuries were severe. What happened to him?
VVD: Um… tragic lawnmower accident?
Doctor: Wow. Well, he'll probably walk with a limp from now on, but he should recover from this.
Houde: Thanks, Doc.
The doctor steps away.
VVD: A limp? Wounded jester?
Houde: Don't start.
VVD: I'm just sayin'.
The three of them enter the hospital room and see McCheese bandaged up head to toe like a cartoon character.
VVD: A mummy joke seems appropriate here, but I don't know any good ones.
McCheese: I don't think there are any good ones.
Houde: That guy got you pretty good, huh?
McCheese: Hey! Check the scoreboard; McCheese one, creepy mute guy zero.
VVD: How'd you take him down anyway?
McCheese: Like this.
McCheese snaps his fingers and focuses the sound to partially destroy a chair in the corner.
McCheese: Cool, huh? Oh right, and I used my head. Do I pass boot camp yet?
VVD: You beat a world class assassin in one on one combat. It's not quite as impressive as getting a takedown on your charming instructor, but I think we can work with that.
McCheese: Alright!
McCheese attempts to pump his fist and immediately regrets it as pain shoots through his body.
Houde: Well, enjoy this little victory of yours because you're going to be paying me for the repairs to my house for the rest of your life.
McCheese: Good luck collecting. I can't even afford my medical bills.
McCheese looks directly at the readers.
McCheese: If only Congress would pass a Health Care Bill so that millions of uninsured Americans like me could receive the health care we deserve. Make your opinions heard. Tell Congress to pass the Health Care Bill.
McCheese returns to the previous conversation. Skotti opens up a portal.
Skotti: Well if we can't pay we should probably go.
Doom grabs McCheese by his bandaged leg and pulls him kicking and screaming through the portal. Skotti and Houde follow them and the portal closes just before the hospital staff enters to check on the screaming.
J. Agamemnon and Houde battle fiercely. These two master swordsman's blades slice through the air with precision timing and great strength. They are sporting some minor cuts, but both have yet to strike a decisive blow.
J. Agamemnon: You're good. This is fun.
Houde: You're not too bad yourself.
J. Agamemnon: You kidding? I'm not bad? I'm great!
Houde: I read a file about your Ultimate counterpart. Why aren't your swords talking?
J. Agamemnon: Talking swords? That's weird.
Houde: It gets weirder. Your double is a girl named Hibiki.
J. Agamemnon: I AM NOT A GIRL!!!
Agamemnon attacks Houde with righteous fury.
J. Agamemnon: Wait. Is she hot?
Emerging from the Ashes of the Emperor's victory over the Avatars, heroes came together, bonding through various hardships. Now, they are faced with the challenge of overthrowing an empire
~ THE COMIC BOARD PRESENTS ~
ULTIMATE CENTRAL
THE FANFIC
Rule of Three
Volume 12, Issue 79, By McCheese
Cover By Random
~ THE COMIC BOARD PRESENTS ~
ULTIMATE CENTRAL
THE FANFIC
Rule of Three
Volume 12, Issue 79, By McCheese
Cover By Random
The Project:
McCheese: Sound wave manipulator and Antidisestablishmentarianist.
Skotti-Chan: Think Blink.
Ultimate Houde: Swordsman and Homeowner.
Victor Von Doom: Unbreakable badass.
Houde's Soon To Be Wrecked Local Park
Skott and Skotti pop out of a portal into a beautiful and peaceful park.
Skotti: You ready?
Skott: Actually, I thought we might skip the fighting.
Skotti: Huh?
Skott: Listen, I really prefer to avoid fighting if at all possible. And since you weren't one of the targets we came for then I'm accomplishing my mission by just by keeping you sitting here until the others finish up. So I thought…
He opens up a portal and retrieves a chess board.
Skott: You and I might play.
Skotti looks more than a little incredulous.
Skotti: Seriously?
Skott: Seriously. I promise that if you play then I won't attack anyone today. We can each choose to trust in our teammates and sit this one out. What do you say?
Skotti: Fine, but I've got another stipulation. If I win then you tell me why you people keep attacking Doom and Cheese.
Skott: Deal.
The two of them sit down at a picnic bench and begin a friendly game of chess.
Houde's Wrecked Street
Doom and Salvation continue to ineffectively pound on one another. Doom makes the hand signal for a time out.
VVD: Time!
Salvation: What is it?
VVD: Can we cut this out. I'm all for violence, but damn it, it makes me sick to my stomach to hit someone this pretty.
Salvation: I know the feeling.
VVD: So can we stop?
Salvation: Sorry, no.
VVD: Why the hell no…
He's cut off by a giant sand fist clocking him in the jaw. It sends him crashing into a nearby parked car. He gets up, runs to a fire hydrant, and kicks the hydrant down the street. Salvation closes in as the water vein shoots into the sky. Doom redirects the water and shoots it towards Salvation. The pressurized water hits him hard. He slowly dissolves into a gelatinous goop that Doom washes down a storm drain. Doom wipes away a single manly tear.
VVD: Why!? Why'd you make me do it, you beautiful bastard!?
Houde's Wrecked Living Room
McCheese is dying painfully on the living room floor. He struggles to his feet and curses profusely. Each time he does he sends a blast off into the white void hoping it connects with his invisible doppelganger, but he gets cut across the back again.
McCheese: GOD DAMN!
He falls to his knees again. He quiets his mind and listens to the footsteps of his double. He turns to scream at him, but the King dodges just in time. The King counters and Cheese barely manages to avoid his latest attack. Cheese silently curses his double's physical abilities. Even without having to use his trigger word McCheese still has to focus his emotions each time he attacks. The King is watching his head's every movement and is quick enough to avoid every scream. McCheese knows that he needs a surprise if he's going to catch his opponent off guard. He wracks his mind for an answer while trying to dodge attacks based on the sound of the King's footsteps. The King charges in again. Suddenly, a thought occurs to McCheese. He drops down and slaps the ground. He feels the sound vibrations from the slap and turns them into destructive blast that rips up the floorboards underneath his opponent. The King loses his footing and collapses in front of McCheese. With his opponent subdued McCheese takes a deep breath and screams at him.
McCheese: GET OUT!!!
His voice booms and the King is rocketed out of the house into the back of a passing semi-truck. His illusion is lifted and McCheese is returned to the now completely destroyed living room. Cheese smiles and sits down on what's left of the couch.
The Kitchen… OF DESTRUCTION
Houde and Agamemnon stare each other down. The two combatants are tired and find themselves in a stalemate when they hear the conclusion of McCheese's fight. They both turn towards the scream and see the King crash through the side of a passing semi-truck. The truck driver doesn't seem to notice and continues as if nothing had happened.
J. Agamemnon: Ch! We'll finish this later!
Houde: Whatever. Just get the hell out of my house.
J. rushes out the back door and chases after the semi. Houde watches him go and sighs in relief. Suddenly, the ceiling fan collapses on the ground next to him.
Houde: MOTHER****ER!!!
The Picnic Table… OF EXPOSITION
Skott-Kun and Skotti-Chan engage in a close chess match. Skotti moves her queen.
Skotti: Mate.
Skott: Well played.
Skotti: Back at you.
Skott: Well, the others must be done by now.
He opens a portal, tosses the chessboard and pieces through, and closes it back up. He opens up a second portal and turns to shake Skotti's hand.
Skott: I'll be off then.
Skotti: I don't think so. You owe me an explanation.
Skott: Oh, right. I forgot about that.
Skotti: I bet.
Skott closes the portal and sits back down.
Skott: The first attack was a simple revenge trip by Professor Houdenmeyer, a high ranking 616 Central official. But during that fight McCheese began the process of advancing past his trigger word. His new abilities were enough evidence to convince the Emperor that he might be "The Breath".
Skotti: The Breath?
Skott: There is an old prophesy that three men called The Trinity would play a crucial role in the defeat of a powerful ruler. The Emperor believes he is that ruler and he fears The Trinity; The Breath of The Internet, The Word of The Internet, and The Path of The Internet. The ancient seer described these three individuals as a wounded jester, a silenced swordsman, and a hardened warrior.
Skotti: So when the Emperor got wind of Houde the swordsman, Doom the rock hard soldier, and Cheese the blowhard working together during the first attack he got twitchy?
Skotti: Exactly. He thought we might be able to finish Cheese before he accessed his true power and nullify the prophecy before it ever got off the ground.
Skott stands up and opens another portal.
Skott: I've said entirely too much, but I'm a man of my word. I'm not a big believer in the prophecy myself and if my team was successful than this information is useless anyway.
He steps through the portal and closes it behind him. Skotti takes a second to analyze the information before following suit.
The Living Room… OF VICTORY
Skotti's portal appears in Houde's living room while Houde is in mid rant and Doom and Cheese are chilling on the couch. Cheese also happens to be bleeding profusely. As she steps out she catches the tail end of Houde's rage.
Houde: I JUST BOUGHT THIS PLACE! LOOK AT IT! THERE'S NO WALL FACING THE STREET! IT'S GONE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
Skotti: Wow. I hope you have house insurance.
McCheese: Hey, Skotti. I need more bandages.
Houde: You need emergency medical treatment, you dingbat. There's more of your blood on my floor than there is in your body.
McCheese: You think?
VVD: Nah, walk it off little buddy.
He pats McCheese on the shoulder, but Cheese has just passed out from blood loss and the pat knocks him to what's left of the floor.
VVD: Whoops.
Skotti opens a portal to the hospital.
Skotti: While we're getting him patched up I can fill you guys in on the info I just won from my double.
VVD: Yeah, I might as well tag along. Cheese destroyed your satellite dish anyway.
Houde: I've changed my mind. Let him die.
Doom carries Cheese through the portal. Houde and Skotti follow.
The Street… OF DEFEAT
The King wakes up in the back of the semi-truck. He looks out through the side where he crashed into the truck. He waits for it to slow down before cutting open the back doors and jumping out. His right arm is broken and hangs loosely at his side. J. Agamemnon runs up to him short of breath and Skott teleports to their position with a very goopy Salvation in tow.
J. Agamemnon: Are *huff* you *huff* alright? *cough*
The King nods yes.
Salvation: Should we go back and finish them?
The King shakes his head no.
Skott: We have to report this to the Emperor.
The King nods again.
J. Agamemnon: Report *huff* what?
Skott: The Trinity is active.
The Hospital… OF SUMMATION
Doom, Skotti, and Houde sit outside Cheese's hospital room and discuss the news of the day.
VVD: Trinity, huh?
Skotti: That's what he told me.
Houde: I don't believe in prophecies; especially not enemy prophecies.
VVD: Doesn't matter if it's true or not. What matters is that the Emperor believes it enough to try and stop us from coming together. This gives us a psychological edge.
A doctor steps out of McCheese's room and motions to the others.
Skotti: Well?
Doctor: He'll be alright, but his injuries were severe. What happened to him?
VVD: Um… tragic lawnmower accident?
Doctor: Wow. Well, he'll probably walk with a limp from now on, but he should recover from this.
Houde: Thanks, Doc.
The doctor steps away.
VVD: A limp? Wounded jester?
Houde: Don't start.
VVD: I'm just sayin'.
The three of them enter the hospital room and see McCheese bandaged up head to toe like a cartoon character.
VVD: A mummy joke seems appropriate here, but I don't know any good ones.
McCheese: I don't think there are any good ones.
Houde: That guy got you pretty good, huh?
McCheese: Hey! Check the scoreboard; McCheese one, creepy mute guy zero.
VVD: How'd you take him down anyway?
McCheese: Like this.
McCheese snaps his fingers and focuses the sound to partially destroy a chair in the corner.
McCheese: Cool, huh? Oh right, and I used my head. Do I pass boot camp yet?
VVD: You beat a world class assassin in one on one combat. It's not quite as impressive as getting a takedown on your charming instructor, but I think we can work with that.
McCheese: Alright!
McCheese attempts to pump his fist and immediately regrets it as pain shoots through his body.
Houde: Well, enjoy this little victory of yours because you're going to be paying me for the repairs to my house for the rest of your life.
McCheese: Good luck collecting. I can't even afford my medical bills.
McCheese looks directly at the readers.
McCheese: If only Congress would pass a Health Care Bill so that millions of uninsured Americans like me could receive the health care we deserve. Make your opinions heard. Tell Congress to pass the Health Care Bill.
McCheese returns to the previous conversation. Skotti opens up a portal.
Skotti: Well if we can't pay we should probably go.
Doom grabs McCheese by his bandaged leg and pulls him kicking and screaming through the portal. Skotti and Houde follow them and the portal closes just before the hospital staff enters to check on the screaming.
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Random
Didn't **** any of those *****es
Awesome, This arc made me laugh quite a bit. I loved it.
Although,
You might want to remedy the issue title and number...
And remember people you yourselves can write and arc, one shot or whatever of the UC Fan Fic. You could even just write a story about your own character. If McCheese could do it, you can do it!
Although,
You might want to remedy the issue title and number...
And remember people you yourselves can write and arc, one shot or whatever of the UC Fan Fic. You could even just write a story about your own character. If McCheese could do it, you can do it!
J. Agamemnon
Well-Known Member
Zweihanders! my favorite!
I may have to go get some new spark plugs for my writing machine(brain).
I may have to go get some new spark plugs for my writing machine(brain).
Iceshadow
Well-Known Member
I enjoyed this arc muchly. I'll start putting my idea together (and hopefully have it done) this week.
McCheese
Well-Known Member
Oooh, look at me I can notice obvious mistakes.
Jerk.:wink:
Why does that last sentence read to me like "If this dumb*** could accomplish it then anyone can"?
I take back my previous wink, you jerk!
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Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
*AHEM*
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.............................where TF is "Nurhachi Presents"?
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.............................where TF is "Nurhachi Presents"?
