The Cult Of Bass

Fury Over Recent Comments from Pope Bass XVI

SEPTEMBER 28, 2006, CENTRUSELAUM CITY - Yesterday at a conference on the connection between religious affiliation and height, Pope Bass XVI (The living incarnation of the Holy Lord Bass) was criticized for his controversial remarks.

Quoting 14th Century Byzzantine Emporer Manuel II Paleologus, Bass was quoted as saying "Show me just what Midgets have brought that is new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as getting mad when you suggest that they should dress up as an Oompha Loompha for Halloween and looking kind of creepy." Pope Bass's comments drew immediate anger.

In Midget countries such as Oz, riots and violent protests have broken out in response. Today, thousands of Midget-rioters in Europe pushed over 6 garbage cans and killed several innocent insects.

"We shall not allow such outrageous statements to be made about our people!!!", said one of the rioters today, in a hilariously squeaky voice. "We have every right to practice our height without such blatant intolerance! We demand an apology from Pope Bass!"

In response to such statements, Bass appeared at Centrusulaum City today, adressed the crowd, and made a heartfelt and teary eyed apology to the Midget community. "My bad."

Despite this honest and sincere apology, the Midget community continues to be enraged. Millions of Midgets plan to march in cities all over the world tomorrow in protest, surely holding up traffic for a block or two.
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I believe we should support our Lord in this, his time of unreasonable and unprovoked persecution.
 
Planet-man said:
Likewise.

But the difference is I'm not using a joke that has been run into the ground so deep it's already in China.
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Actually the difference is that I actually have a sense of humor and do not have billions of grains of rough, uncomfortable sand tightly stuffed into my stinky, gaping vagina.

Like you.

And you should know that I'm eating a puppy right now. I strangled it with my bare hands. It's so delicious.
 
Ridiculous. I think Bass has became more important after he left, rather than when he was here.
 
No, immolation is too painless. I'll need to think of a more horrible mode of execution to rid us of these filthy heretics.
 
moonmaster said:
Actually the difference is that I actually have a sense of humor
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And this thread clearly shows how original and deep it is.

I'm glad you could take time out of your probably busy schedule of quoting "I'm Rick James, *****!" with your friends to make all this.:roll:


Honestly, I'm not trying to flame or anything, but am I seriously the only person on this board who thinks the sorrowfull Bass-worship schtick has been beaten to death many times over?

I know I'm gonna get a bunch of "then don't read the Bass thread's!", but the joke just weeds it's way into all the other threads anyway. Let it go. You're actually cheapening his memory.
 
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Planet-man said:
And this thread clearly shows how original and deep it is.

I'm glad you could take time out of your probably busy schedule of quoting "I'm Rick James, *****!" with your friends to make all this.:roll:


Honestly, I'm not trying to flame or anything, but am I seriously the only person on this board who thinks the sorrowfull Bass-worship schtick has been beaten to death many times over?

I know I'm gonna get a bunch of "then don't read the Bass thread's!", but the joke just weeds it's way into all the other threads anyway. Let it go. You're actually cheapening his memory.
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Or maybe just don't post and complain about it? Yeah, that works.

End of story.
 
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