The Confessional

Victor Von Doom said:
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh man........ :lol:



A friend of mine just e-mailed me a video clip of me piss-faced drunk, screaming about how much I hate Angelina Jolie and how I think that she is so overrated that I would rather have sex with Camryn Manheim everyday for a month rather than have 10 minutes with Angelina Jolie.

I can't believe how drunk I was.



And no....this video will never see the light of day.
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So, was the thing about Angelina Jolie the Jack talking? If not, what's wrong with you? She's not my number one, but she's definitely on my top ten.

Last weekend when this guy was passed out drunk we didn't do anything to him, but we take pictures of him after he had vomitted on himself. It wasn't my camera and as I recall they were deleted, but I maintain that evidence need to be created to verify how stupid you are when your drunk. Otherwise people don't seem to believe it.
 
MaxwellSmart said:
So, was the thing about Angelina Jolie the Jack talking? If not, what's wrong with you? She's not my number one, but she's definitely on my top ten.
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Dude....this is Camryn Manheim we're talking about here. It was sooooo the alcohol and my blatant hatred for Angelina Jolie.

She isn't even in my top 20. Seriously. I just don't like her at all.............the alcohol just made it worse.
 
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Victor Von Doom said:
Dude....this is Camryn Manheim we're talking about here. It was sooooo the alcohol and my blatant hatred for Angelina Jolie.

She isn't even in my top 20. Seriously. I just don't like her at all.............the alcohol just made it worse.
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What can I say? I'm a sucker for beautiful eyes, full lips, and natural ****.
 
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I sometimes fart in my office which four people sit in. I do it cause i think my farts dont stink.
 
This really isn't that bad but:
Two years ago I was on a snowboarding vacation in Park City Utah. My friends and I were night boarding and some lame was going really fast and bumped into me almost knocking me on my ***. He got to the lift line before me and was waiting with all of his homies. I rode up to them and was going to jump over the back of his board but in midair I decieded to slam my board down on his. I rode off and ignored him as he did to me earlier and got in line for another run. Dude comes from behind as I'm getting on the lift and starts whining about how I chipped his board. I told him to F off. Then we talked **** to each other the whole way up the lift. Then I thought about how I would feel if someone chipped my board (MY BABY) and apologized when we got off the lift.


Oh and when we were kids my brothers and I used to get in trouble for spitting on each other. My bro John was really pissing me off so I spit a huge loogie on myself then I yelled " Dad!!! John Spit On Me!" Then he got a spanking. :D
 
MaxwellSmart said:
Who says science geek can't get some in college?
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For some reason unbeknowst to me, Science geeks get aot of sex once the girl gets over the fact your a geek.

Maybe it's because we work all day with pipettes.

OH! I WENT THERE!

GO SCIENCE HUMOR!

*waits for half to you to google pipettes so you know what I'm talking about*
 
Ultimate Houde said:
For some reason unbeknowst to me, Science geeks get aot of sex once the girl gets over the fact your a geek.

Maybe it's because we work all day with pipettes.

OH! I WENT THERE!

GO SCIENCE HUMOR!

*waits for half to you to google pipettes so you know what I'm talking about*
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Aren't those the little injector thingy's for the microcentrifuge tubes?
 
Ultimate Houde said:
For some reason unbeknowst to me, Science geeks get aot of sex once the girl gets over the fact your a geek.

Maybe it's because we work all day with pipettes.

OH! I WENT THERE!

GO SCIENCE HUMOR!

*waits for half to you to google pipettes so you know what I'm talking about*
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I've actually used automatic pipettes. I broke a couple too.
 
Cannon Fodder said:
Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me is a fun fun dancey song.

Oh, and one time I stabbed a dog. I didn't feel too bad, though, seeing as it was for charity.
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I am curious as to what charity, precisely.
 
Well, the charity was Habitat for Humanity of course. There were these dogs in Brazil living in these straw huts, which a bunch of Brazillian babies could have lived in. So I stabbed a bunch of dogs so the Brazillians could take shelter in the huts. And then we celebrated Carnival! and much rejoicing before I had my first son, St Celebracion de la Savior de la Hoochie Coochie Dance Dance Ai-yeeeah!

So the dogs are dead now, but my son is ready to receive the world in the name of Sata . . . er, God. Yeah, God.
 
This was when I was around 10-12 or so. One time I didnt realize what I was doing and put juice into a bowl of cereal. I think it was fruit punch. Or cherry. Or whatever juice was red. I was about to eat the cereal when I realized I didn't put in milk.


I...ah....threw it away.... :(
 
I blew the engine on my first car twice - the first because it had no oil, the second because it had no coolant. I have no idea what a carburettor looks like or does. I am about as clueless as they come when it comes to cars.
 
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