The Confessional

[Hibiki]

Compared to my confessionals---all of these confessionals are the equivelant to a 5th grader saying he doesn't know his times-tables.


I feel like a major heel.




Meh. :?

You're like the worst one-upper in the world, or the best depending on how you look at it. But then you also have MWoF whom I haven't seen in a while. You should be the Been there done that one upper on the axe commercials.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

You're like the worst one-upper in the world, or the best depending on how you look at it. But then you also have MWoF whom I haven't seen in a while. You should be the Been there done that one upper on the axe commercials.

This post is bollocks.

 

[Hibiki]

This post is bollocks.

:twisted: I'm loving it like McDonalds.

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

Hmm... Most of my confessions are really dark... Like, to the point of making people not like me any more.

I manipulate people subconsciously into doing what I want them to. Right now one of my best friend's boyfriends is terrified of doing something that'll get me pissed, because he's convinced that I could all of a sudden decide that my friend shouldnt be with him, and I would bring out every insecurity in my friend to the point where he wouldn't want to be with him anymore. But yeah... The thing is I have done **** like that a lot, but i'm never the bad guy, because I can lead people to think that they've made the decisions themselves.

I've gotten better, but I've wedged myself so far into my friends heads that I know how do get them to think a certain way. I don't use this to my advantage anymore, because it always makes me feel like ****... But that doesn't mean I'm not good at it.

I got my best friend Karl to dump his boyfriend by digging up a bunch of really kinky **** the guy had done a few years earlier with two friends of his... That was for the best for him, because they didn't fit together at all, but I think I really did it because when Karl was dating he stopped paying attention to me, and that pissed me off. So I looked for the piece of the Jenga tower that would make everything crash down...

On top of that, I had got him into that relationship because I wanted him to stop being pissed off at me for helping the guy he had a crush on get together with this guy who was clearly only looking for a sexual relationship (and who was still in denial about his sexuality)... That turned out to be a nightmare beyond words... but yeah. All my actions were selfish, because I was horribly depressed and I would play what my Psychologist called "The Puppetmaster" with my friends.

It all comes down to the fact that I let a younger idiotic version of myself convince me that I was in love with a guy i'd fooled around with a few times, and then when I took out my frustration at my sexuality on him by telling him that I hated being worse than him at everything, he made the decision to stop being my friend... then I was outed to my entire class.

I changed schools to an all boys high school and tried to kill myself five times, never following through (obviously). Then I stopped being an idiot and got help.

I still hate the guy who bailed on me, because it turned out he was trying to take things further with me in an attempt to make me get so awkward that i wouldnt want to be friends anymore (instead it made me think I was in love). His whole point was to stop being my friend... When i found that out I had a nervous breakdown and needed to start taking antidepressants (which I still take).

I then used my anger at him to make some of our mutual friends horribly depressed, and I got a taste for being a manipulative bastard, something I eventually turned into an art before starting to listen to my conscience again...

So yeah. The Secret History of Doctor Strangefate.

I also once convinced a teacher I handed in a paper three times and that he had just lost it... And in the end he just gave me an A- on it.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

:lol:

Gays are evil.

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

Nooooooo....

Just me.

And, y'know... Jeff Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Carson Kressley.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

Nooooooo....

Just me.

And, y'know... Jeff Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Carson Kressley.

Way to make a case for you guys. :lol:

 

[jtg3885]

Since I was dumb enough to have E get rid of the drunk thread BEFORE I was legal to drink (and therefore could get away with coming home ****faced)...

 

[MaxwellSmart]

Hmm... Most of my confessions are really dark... Like, to the point of making people not like me any more.

I manipulate people subconsciously into doing what I want them to. Right now one of my best friend's boyfriends is terrified of doing something that'll get me pissed, because he's convinced that I could all of a sudden decide that my friend shouldnt be with him, and I would bring out every insecurity in my friend to the point where he wouldn't want to be with him anymore. But yeah... The thing is I have done **** like that a lot, but i'm never the bad guy, because I can lead people to think that they've made the decisions themselves.

I've gotten better, but I've wedged myself so far into my friends heads that I know how do get them to think a certain way. I don't use this to my advantage anymore, because it always makes me feel like ****... But that doesn't mean I'm not good at it.

I got my best friend Karl to dump his boyfriend by digging up a bunch of really kinky **** the guy had done a few years earlier with two friends of his... That was for the best for him, because they didn't fit together at all, but I think I really did it because when Karl was dating he stopped paying attention to me, and that pissed me off. So I looked for the piece of the Jenga tower that would make everything crash down...

On top of that, I had got him into that relationship because I wanted him to stop being pissed off at me for helping the guy he had a crush on get together with this guy who was clearly only looking for a sexual relationship (and who was still in denial about his sexuality)... That turned out to be a nightmare beyond words... but yeah. All my actions were selfish, because I was horribly depressed and I would play what my Psychologist called "The Puppetmaster" with my friends.

It all comes down to the fact that I let a younger idiotic version of myself convince me that I was in love with a guy i'd fooled around with a few times, and then when I took out my frustration at my sexuality on him by telling him that I hated being worse than him at everything, he made the decision to stop being my friend... then I was outed to my entire class.

I changed schools to an all boys high school and tried to kill myself five times, never following through (obviously). Then I stopped being an idiot and got help.

I still hate the guy who bailed on me, because it turned out he was trying to take things further with me in an attempt to make me get so awkward that i wouldnt want to be friends anymore (instead it made me think I was in love). His whole point was to stop being my friend... When i found that out I had a nervous breakdown and needed to start taking antidepressants (which I still take).

I then used my anger at him to make some of our mutual friends horribly depressed, and I got a taste for being a manipulative bastard, something I eventually turned into an art before starting to listen to my conscience again...

So yeah. The Secret History of Doctor Strangefate.

I also once convinced a teacher I handed in a paper three times and that he had just lost it... And in the end he just gave me an A- on it.

Gay teen drama is so much worse than straight teen drama.

You want a confessional?

The setup, COllege, where funky things happen. Let me introduce the characters of our story. A young and horny Houde, his petite girl, Ella, and their mutual friend Steph, the tiny redhead.

One day in college, I went over to Ella's dorm, intent on breaking up with her because I had undeniable proof she cheated on me during christmas break (you see, her friends, friend heard it form some in the grocery store who heard it from a factory worker and so on...) I knock on her door, and the door opens, but no one is inside. I come to the conclusion it was left open a crack, a common thing she does, simply because she's in the shower, so I decide to wait. I go in the room, and play with the stapler on her desk.

Houde has a very easy mind to distract. It had small little shiny things on it. Houde was so distracted, he never noticed the door had closed.

Ella stood there, in nothing but her towel. Gone was the intent on breaking up with her, instead, it was replaced by complete and utter horniness. I try to blink it away, and instead force to look at the stapler.

After an awkward conversation about why I was brekaing up with her, I go to leave. As I leave, I hear the sound of a towel hitting the floor, and I look into the mirror.

Her naked glory was in front of me.

Yada yada yada, when I woke up at 3 in the morning, I left a note on her desk, which said "Thanks for the sex, it was great, but I'm still going to break up with you." And I left.

Oh, you think the story was bad enough?

Ella's best friend, and my good friend Steph was in the common room as I was leaving. Asking why I was there, I opted for the truth, well, because I was still high on sex and anything could happen. Steph, instead of hearing that I dumped her after having sex with her, instead led me to her room, where I had sex yet again (Wow 18 years of nothing noe twice in one day! I love this place!).

Yada yada yada, ten o'clock rolled around when I finally left Steph's room. I opened the door, only to see Ella standing there as if she was about to knock. She took one look at me and Steph, and raised her eyebrow.

My exact words.

"Well, I did break up with you."

You see, Houde was a dick in college, and pretty much a laidback ******* now.

I mean, just look at the Anti-Scoop thread

Who says science geek can't get some in college?

 

[Friday]

Hmm... Most of my confessions are really dark... Like, to the point of making people not like me any more.

I manipulate people subconsciously into doing what I want them to. Right now one of my best friend's boyfriends is terrified of doing something that'll get me pissed, because he's convinced that I could all of a sudden decide that my friend shouldnt be with him, and I would bring out every insecurity in my friend to the point where he wouldn't want to be with him anymore. But yeah... The thing is I have done **** like that a lot, but i'm never the bad guy, because I can lead people to think that they've made the decisions themselves.

I've gotten better, but I've wedged myself so far into my friends heads that I know how do get them to think a certain way. I don't use this to my advantage anymore, because it always makes me feel like ****... But that doesn't mean I'm not good at it.

I got my best friend Karl to dump his boyfriend by digging up a bunch of really kinky **** the guy had done a few years earlier with two friends of his... That was for the best for him, because they didn't fit together at all, but I think I really did it because when Karl was dating he stopped paying attention to me, and that pissed me off. So I looked for the piece of the Jenga tower that would make everything crash down...

On top of that, I had got him into that relationship because I wanted him to stop being pissed off at me for helping the guy he had a crush on get together with this guy who was clearly only looking for a sexual relationship (and who was still in denial about his sexuality)... That turned out to be a nightmare beyond words... but yeah. All my actions were selfish, because I was horribly depressed and I would play what my Psychologist called "The Puppetmaster" with my friends.

It all comes down to the fact that I let a younger idiotic version of myself convince me that I was in love with a guy i'd fooled around with a few times, and then when I took out my frustration at my sexuality on him by telling him that I hated being worse than him at everything, he made the decision to stop being my friend... then I was outed to my entire class.

I changed schools to an all boys high school and tried to kill myself five times, never following through (obviously). Then I stopped being an idiot and got help.

I still hate the guy who bailed on me, because it turned out he was trying to take things further with me in an attempt to make me get so awkward that i wouldnt want to be friends anymore (instead it made me think I was in love). His whole point was to stop being my friend... When i found that out I had a nervous breakdown and needed to start taking antidepressants (which I still take).

I then used my anger at him to make some of our mutual friends horribly depressed, and I got a taste for being a manipulative bastard, something I eventually turned into an art before starting to listen to my conscience again...

So yeah. The Secret History of Doctor Strangefate.

I also once convinced a teacher I handed in a paper three times and that he had just lost it... And in the end he just gave me an A- on it.

Doesn't everyone do **** like that? Well, not the gay bit, but the rest. A few years ago when I was a much more social person than I am now I was seen as an angel but played the devil to everyones dark deeds. It was so very fun....

 

[moonmaster]

Hmm... Most of my confessions are really dark... Like, to the point of making people not like me any more.

I manipulate people subconsciously into doing what I want them to. Right now one of my best friend's boyfriends is terrified of doing something that'll get me pissed, because he's convinced that I could all of a sudden decide that my friend shouldnt be with him, and I would bring out every insecurity in my friend to the point where he wouldn't want to be with him anymore. But yeah... The thing is I have done **** like that a lot, but i'm never the bad guy, because I can lead people to think that they've made the decisions themselves.

I've gotten better, but I've wedged myself so far into my friends heads that I know how do get them to think a certain way. I don't use this to my advantage anymore, because it always makes me feel like ****... But that doesn't mean I'm not good at it.

I got my best friend Karl to dump his boyfriend by digging up a bunch of really kinky **** the guy had done a few years earlier with two friends of his... That was for the best for him, because they didn't fit together at all, but I think I really did it because when Karl was dating he stopped paying attention to me, and that pissed me off. So I looked for the piece of the Jenga tower that would make everything crash down...

On top of that, I had got him into that relationship because I wanted him to stop being pissed off at me for helping the guy he had a crush on get together with this guy who was clearly only looking for a sexual relationship (and who was still in denial about his sexuality)... That turned out to be a nightmare beyond words... but yeah. All my actions were selfish, because I was horribly depressed and I would play what my Psychologist called "The Puppetmaster" with my friends.

It all comes down to the fact that I let a younger idiotic version of myself convince me that I was in love with a guy i'd fooled around with a few times, and then when I took out my frustration at my sexuality on him by telling him that I hated being worse than him at everything, he made the decision to stop being my friend... then I was outed to my entire class.

I changed schools to an all boys high school and tried to kill myself five times, never following through (obviously). Then I stopped being an idiot and got help.

I still hate the guy who bailed on me, because it turned out he was trying to take things further with me in an attempt to make me get so awkward that i wouldnt want to be friends anymore (instead it made me think I was in love). His whole point was to stop being my friend... When i found that out I had a nervous breakdown and needed to start taking antidepressants (which I still take).

I then used my anger at him to make some of our mutual friends horribly depressed, and I got a taste for being a manipulative bastard, something I eventually turned into an art before starting to listen to my conscience again...

So yeah. The Secret History of Doctor Strangefate.

I also once convinced a teacher I handed in a paper three times and that he had just lost it... And in the end he just gave me an A- on it.

Beware of Gay Mind Tricks.

"You want to make out with each other."

"We want to make out with each other."

 

[Fuzzy Birds]

1: I suffered quite a bit of bullying and anti-social behaviour in my first (of two) secondary school. It was to the point where pretty much nobody liked me and a handful hated me. I had only one friend, someone I had known since primary school. He was the only person to show me any positive attention, but because I wanted to give the world some sh*t back (and because he was a bit of an annoying prick), I turned against him and did to him what others did to me.

Among the acts I remember are throwing his bag and shoes out of a 5th floor window, which ended up breaking loads of stuff; kicking a stool from under his feet when he was putting something on a wall; pushing him down a small flight of stairs; trying to strangle him with his tie; publicly making fun of his excessive eczema; stealing toys from his house and calling his house anonymously and insulting the aunt he lived with.

What's worse, when he eventually took too much and decided to do something, I actually lied to his aunt and our headmaster and claimed he was doing all these things to himself and trying to blame me. After this I kinda realised what I'd become and where I was headed and left that school to go to a better one. It's true what they say about becoming the thing you hate.

2: A couple of years back I was in love with a coworker, a young Slovakian woman who was at the time in a very serious 3 year relationship. It was one of those situations where you both knew that if things had happened differently, that if you had met at different parts of your life, you would have undoubtedly been together. I knew this from a very early stage, but couldn't stop wanting to be with her.

Partly because I was so depressively lonely and angry at the situation and because I got it into my head that if I couldn't have her, she couldn't have him, I kinda tried on numerous occasions to break them up. Considering they were both living illegally in this country, without enough money to go home, if I'd actually succeeded, I think her boyfriend would have been in a pretty nasty situation. I would have been the bad guy.

And for a time, I was. I went out with her so often and came very close to doing 'something' with her. She left the country last year, pretty abruptly too, and went to live in Greece. I received one letter from her, in which she told me they'd broken up. She mentioned it was something he had done to her, but also hinted it was partly my fault. Never heard from her again.

3: I'm in an 18 month relationship right now, with a girl I love dearly, let's call her T. But when we first met, I was in a desperate situation; it was shortly after the girl in the last story, and also two more who I'd shown interest in and been rebuked by. When T arrived, and didn't tell me within a week that she just wanted to be friends, I jumped at the chance, and we started dating. Although it worked out, and we're currently happy in our relationship, it took me a lot longer to fall in love her than I made her believe. And what's more, she wasn't my first choice; two things which make me feel pretty sh*tty even today.

4: Me and my girlfriend did however hit a rocky patch a couple of months back, where we were both concerned about our future together. During this time, I ended up going out on a pseudo-date with a girl at work who knew I was interested in her. We stayed out until 3am and I came very, very close to cheating on my girlfriend. The day after I realised what nearly happened, sat down with my girlfriend and talked about our relationship. It ended up making our relationship better than ever, although I did neglect to mention what very nearly happened.

5: Being in a position of responsibilty at work, I find it very easy to slack off. Thing is, I'm (unfortunately) a very good liar, and I'm pretty good at not doing anything while making it look like something. So, the majority of my working shifts are spend idly daydreaming and letting things slip when I should be reporting them. Funnily enough, my best friend does the same, but the bosses always catch him because he makes it so obvious. I criticise him and tell him what not to do, when I do exactly the same and have never been caught out. In fact, my entire job pretty much revolves around telling people off for doing exactly the same things I used to do when I was in their position. And somehow they promoted me.

 

[slimjim]

 

[McCheese]

This is a great thread. Where to begin. Oh, I know...

Gather around children and I'll tell you the tale of Wal-Mart. Now I'm not talking about Wal-mart the fabulous low-priced superstore. This is a story about Wal-Mart the person (Wal-Mart being a nickname she picked up, but we'll get to that soon enough).

It all started when my friend, who has no luck with the ladies. Mostly because he has a nack for saying the wrong thing. Case in point: he tried for a month to meet girls on the internet. His usual pick-up line being "You wanna take a shower with me." (This usually happened 2 minutes into the conversation with total strangers.) Well eventually he used the line and got a girl to agree, in principle. So he got all excited and came running to tell us, which was a good move because given a moment to think about it, she was trying to back out. We hopped on the computer for him and got her to stick with it. Well eventually word got out and two of our mutual friends and I decided to hide in the room and pull a rodeo (jump out in the middle of the sex and scream). Well the time for the girl to show up came and passed so I went to class, but when I got back everyone was sitting in my room and my hapless buddy had the biggest, most ridiculous grin on his face. They related the story, as not 5 minutes after I left the girl showed up. They took a shower, as agreed and afterwards they got busy on the top of his bunkbed, all the while one friend was hiding in the closet, another under the bed listening and watching. But the rodeo never happened, the guys chickened out and eventually the one in the closet had to continuously text my buddy to get the girl to leave because he was cramping up. He sent the girl on her way and never called her back.

About a week later we discovered that my roommate was seeing the girl, but rather than tell us he'd say he was "going to Wal-Mart", thus the nickname. We made fun of him endlessly, including telling everyone that she looks like she has down syndrome. Well they dated for a while, until she got creepy and stalkery, so he dumped her. She contacted all of his friends trying to find a way to get him back, well when she contacted my friend I was in the room and we decided to have some fun with her. And we told her he had a fetish for "butt sex". And sure enough she sent my roommate an E-mail offering to do anything to get him back even butt sex. Well things got wierd after that and she started sleeping around with pretty much everyone on the floor to get my roommates attention all the while sending him messages saying she loved him.

Come to think of it, I didn't really do anything that bad, but I love the story and I spent a lot of time typing it. So there it is. I'll get back to you with worse stuff later.

 

[Ultimate Quicksilver]

I've made it a point in my life never be cruel to everyone. I honestly can't think of a horrible thing I ever done to someone. Treat others how you want to be treated. And I believe in karma.

Well I did stab a kid with a knife on a school bus in 8th grade and was arrested.

I'm the same...except for the stabing part...

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

Beware of Gay Mind Tricks.

"You want to make out with each other."

"We want to make out with each other."

Well... We do.

If you're hot.

Because if unnattractive straight guys make out, where's the fun?

 

[DIrishB]

I think the worst thing I ever did (morally speaking) was sleep with my ex-girlfriend's ex-best friend a few days after she and I (my ex-gf) broke up...and videotaped it. I then made sure the ex-best friend of hers got in contact with her and let her know...I don't think she ever saw the tape though...which is too bad.

:evil:

I work as a range monkey/ bag boy at a local country club. This provides fun opportunities, such as driving around in a golf cart all day listening to music and getting paid $6, plus double-didget cash tips for it. Of course, picking up golf balls by hand until the sprinklers come on is a pain in the ***, but it all balances out.

Because I get to smash **** in the golf cart. And I haven't gotten in trouble yet.

I have smashed through the back of a wagon, put a huge hole in a fence, ran over chipmunks, and I *think* I smashed another fence; I don't quite remember, but I'm pretty sure it was me. I should be fired.

I used to work at a golf course also (through most of high school and college), and also often drove the range picker (seriously, thats what they called it). Of course, it was the best place to spark one up...I used to like to drive real close to the tee boxes and blow out voluminous clouds of skunky smoke at the out-of-towners (couldn't **** with the members like that or you'd get fired).

Ah...those were the days...

 

[moonmaster]

Well... We do.

If you're hot.

Because if unnattractive straight guys make out, where's the fun?

 

[Victor Von Doom]

Beware of Gay Mind Tricks.

:lol:

 

[Victor Von Doom]

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh man........ :lol:



A friend of mine just e-mailed me a video clip of me piss-faced drunk, screaming about how much I hate Angelina Jolie and how I think that she is so overrated that I would rather have sex with Camryn Manheim everyday for a month rather than have 10 minutes with Angelina Jolie.

I can't believe how drunk I was.



And no....this video will never see the light of day.