The Complaining About Life Thread

[Ultimate Houde]

True, I did model it after that movie, I don't think John had the gay friend.

Which is weird, cause most of them do.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

I don't think so.

But yeah. Most romcoms nowadays have that gay or platonic friend.

 

[Captain Canuck]

I have no advice for you on how to talk to pretty girls since there are no pretty girls in Canada.

........oh forget it, it's not worth it.

Honestly, you need to stop putting the ***** on a pedestal.

Houde is right. Ask her out again. Waiting around and planting hints and subtly convincing her to be your gf is the kinda bull**** that only happens in coming of age teenage romcoms. Plus it takes the pressure off of you to go for the relationship and puts it all back on her.

You've shown yourself to be a good friend....you've told her how you feel....it's on her now. And if you just sit around waiting for her to come to her senses, you could possibly miss out on a great relationship with someone else.

An even better idea is for you to go on some dates of your own. That shows her that you're not some love-lorne sappy puppydog that is just sitting around waiting for her to validate your feelings. Instead it shows her that you're a great guy whom other women want....which for some strange reason---drives women insane with jealousy. Other guys can tell you...they can be single for 6 months without barely any chance at getting a gf. But as soon as they get a gf...all of a sudden, women flock to them and show interest. Go figure.

The best part of being an adult and dating is that this isn't high school anymore! You don't just meet a girl at her locker everyday before lunch for 2 weeks and now she's your gf. Nope. You can go out and date several people at once and until you've sat down and talked about becoming exclusive with someone...you're still fairgame. Same as she is. She can date you....and 4 other guys....and until she says she wants to date only you---she's not in the wrong.

I say this with no malice:

Be a man....grow a pair....ask her out again....and if she says "no" or "she's not ready" ---- you go and ask someone else out.

I would like to respectfully disagree. You don't need to grow a pair, you've put yourself out there and told her how you feel. She was honest back and now you're in the best position you could be in with her considering the circumstances. Doom's right. You're ALLOWED to go out with whomever you want, but just because you are allowed to by the unwritten rules of this game we call dating doesn't mean it's in your best interest to do so. You told her you care about her, now you're showing her you care about her. Don't send her mixed messages by going out with other girls just because you can.


However, you need to reign in the emotion on this one a bit. (Easier said than done, I realize). But if you're this uptight about it now, you're going to be a mess whatever happens. Even if she says yes one of the best ways to ruin a good relationship is to be too emotional too quickly (and no one will ever want to be around you).

I say this last part out of experience.

Anyway, You have several different opinions on what to do next. The decision is up to you, I hope it goes well.

 

[J. Agamemnon]

Hammer on the nail mr. doom.

 

[Random]

I feel Doom's advice is a bit harsh but he has a point. If you wait too long you'll end up in a friend zone and probably miss some great opportunities on the way. Once you feel you have a successful opening don't hesitate. Just be confident and make a play. And as Doom said either way she answers could work out for the best. You can wait it out for her to settle in but don't miss your chance.

Though what do I know, I suck at relationships.

 

[Planet-man]

I really appreciate all the advice, but asking her out again right now just isn't going to work. As I've said, she still lives in another city. I'm not even going to see her in person until next weekend, and then she goes back for chaotic 3rd-year exams until Christmas. Hecticness was her reason for not wanting to do anything in the first place. If she said no again now, which she easily could for the exact same reasons, I STILL wouldn't know if it's the chaos that's in the way or if she just doesn't like me, so I still wouldn't be able to move on, only now my hope for when she moves back would be cut in half and I'd feel even worse.

The idea that I can just up and date someone else is off the table too.... even if the baffling, seven-year-long streak of every girl I'm into being taken suddenly ends this month, which would be a paradigm shift in itself, it's not like she's gonna see me dating this girl everywhere because she's a hundred miles away. The only way of her finding out would be me just up and TELLING her. It's the same sort of horrible stuff that she's put up with from the other guy's she's dated who I want to prove I'm nothing like. It would also be so manipulative to whoever I was suddenly dating that I'd feel like the karma alone would wreck my chances. She knows I'm popular and funny and that several girls have been after me that I've wanted nothing to do with.... that's about the best I've got on this front.

Knowing this girl, I think DSF's advice seems the most accurate and the most like what's already going on.

However, you need to reign in the emotion on this one a bit. (Easier said than done, I realize). But if you're this uptight about it now, you're going to be a mess whatever happens. Even if she says yes one of the best ways to ruin a good relationship is to be too emotional too quickly (and no one will ever want to be around you).

Don't worry, you're right, and I'm okay on the outside and have years of practice in this area. That's one of the reasons places like this are so great. It would be easier if it wasn't affecting me physically, though. I literally haven't been hungry since this started. I didn't eat for two days after I told her how I felt and didn't realize it until I noticed I'd lost four pounds. I put a stop to that by sticking to an actual eating routine, which I haven't done in ages, but I still have to remind myself to do it. Sleeping is also completely all-over-the-place, and in all seriousness it's probably because I'm more interested in my life than in my dreams right now. It's rough....

 

[Gothamite]

I have no advice for you on how to talk to pretty girls since there are no pretty girls in Canada.

Meh.

An even better idea is for you to go on some dates of your own. That shows her that you're not some love-lorne sappy puppydog that is just sitting around waiting for her to validate your feelings. Instead it shows her that you're a great guy whom other women want....which for some strange reason---drives women insane with jealousy. Other guys can tell you...they can be single for 6 months without barely any chance at getting a gf. But as soon as they get a gf...all of a sudden, women flock to them and show interest. Go figure.

Whatever about asking her out again, this is definitely not a terrible idea. Not to make her jealous (which I don't think anyone should consciously try and do in any case), but for your own confidence and experience. My advice is to act fast when asking girls out, rather than trying to create friendships and advance them on, from there.

My suggestion is the opposite of Houde... Keep up the conversations, make sure she's comfortable with getting close to you again... I bet she's keeping you at arm's length because she hasn't lived around you in a while and she doesn't want to just jump into some relationship right away.

Once she's around all the time, then you can ask her out officially... But until then, just subtly show her how good a boyfriend you would be, and that you're excited to have her back in town. Don't let it be torture, think of it as a six-week long conversation convincing her to date you. Can't slip into worry-mode, stay on top of your game.

Yeah, this pretty much is the best advice anyone has given, especially if you like her as much as you say you do. Do this first.

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

Good friend at school told us early this week that he has been diagnosed with cancer and due to treatment might not be back next year.

Also it is finals week and I have more than ten pages of work to finish by three-thirty tomorrow, despite still being mostly in shock about all of this.

Also: He found out he had cancer on my birthday.

As one might imagine, this week has been less than great.

 

[Gothamite]

Good friend at school told us early this week that he has been diagnosed with cancer and due to treatment might not be back next year.

Also it is finals week and I have more than ten pages of work to finish by three-thirty tomorrow, despite still being mostly in shock about all of this.

Also: He found out he had cancer on my birthday.

As one might imagine, this week has been less than great.

An acquaintance from school who has been prone to serious epileptic fits his whole life, has a brain tumour and is having his second operation in less than a year, because the first one did nothing. Best of luck to him.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

And another one bites the dust.


I'm talking about my marriage.




That's right...I'm in the process of getting a divorce. Again. A divorce while deployed. Again.

Houde thinks it's all in my head and I'm just taking everything that's going on out of proportions....but I disagree. There's been certain events that have transpired that just ain't cool. There's been conversations had that have shed some serious light to some pretty heavy questions. And there's been some actions that have spoken louder than words. And to be honest---the cherry on top of this ****ty sundae is that she got rid of The Captain. SHE ****ING GOT RID OF MY DOG!

A lot of the details with all this is up in the air right now....but it's gonna happen once I get back.




Yeah the relationship was hectic and wild, and the marriage resulting was somewhat impetuous. But all the signs seemed to be lining up in making me think this was the one and meant to be. With a lot of stuff that was happening and going great all stemmed from situations that seemed to have perfect timing.

Normally I'm pretty cautious when it comes to relationships but I can go with the flow with the best of them. My instincts were telling me to take it easy but my heart and mind was like "ACT ON THIS NOW! DON'T WAIT! CARPE DIEM *****!"

This is what I get.

I don't know if she'll still be there waiting for me to come home to deal with all this or if I'll be coming home to an empty house.


This relationship being the most devastating since it's pretty much putting me off women for life now.

Well in terms of relationships anyways. Doom don't do dudes. :neutral:

No more girlfriends....no more long term relationships....nothing like that at all. I'm gonna be 30 with 2 ex-wives. I'm not interested in possibly working on another. It's all Lone Wolf for me. There'll be random girls here and there....but nothing major.


So yeah.....life. She's an awesome *****.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

You should have seen the PMs.

He went nuts off of one comment about brakes.

I still think he's wrong.

 

[Random]

... so are you able to do the cartoon lines or not?

You should have seen the PMs.

He went nuts off of one comment about brakes.

I still think he's wrong.

From the little I know this sounds right. Think long and hard about it before doing anything rash

 

[McCheese]

I don't know too much of the situation, but I will agree with Houde and say that you should give this some serious thought. Two ex-wives by 30? You'll have become Ross from Friends. And that would make me Joey or Chandler.

Neither sounds terribly appealing.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

I don't know too much of the situation, but I will agree with Houde and say that you should give this some serious thought. Two ex-wives by 30? You'll have become Ross from Friends. And that would make me Joey or Chandler.

Neither sounds terribly appealing.

Your are Joey, I'm Chandler.

 

[McCheese]

Your are Joey, I'm Chandler.

Done.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

Good, now get out there and have several meaningless relationships!

 

[McCheese]

Good, now get out there and have several meaningless relationships!

Alright!

 

[E]

There is something seriously wrong with a woman getting rid of your dog with no notice or warning. Especially since she has to know what that dog means to him.

When someone has utter disregard for your personal property, there is something seriously wrong and demands attention. I'm not saying he's overreacting or not, I'm just saying that **** is hard to just try and get past.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

You should have seen the PMs.

He went nuts off of one comment about brakes.

I still think he's wrong.

Way to make me sound crazy.

... so are you able to do the cartoon lines or not?

Yes. I actually have all of them done except for Spade's lines. I keep forgetting to transfer them to my thumb drive to bring in and send you. I will send you them this week.

From the little I know this sounds right. Think long and hard about it before doing anything rash

I'm not doing anything rash...but right now, unless she changes her ways---it's a wrap. I'm starting to see signs and behavior that I saw in my first ex-wife....and I see signs of me reverting to how I was with my first and THAT is no good and I refuse to let that happen.

So I'm taking steps make sure that everything works out for me.....for good or for bad.

I don't know too much of the situation, but I will agree with Houde and say that you should give this some serious thought. Two ex-wives by 30? You'll have become Ross from Friends. And that would make me Joey or Chandler.

Neither sounds terribly appealing.

I am nobody's sad-sack lobster.

There is something seriously wrong with a woman getting rid of your dog with no notice or warning. Especially since she has to know what that dog means to him.

Well...there was notice (about a day) and some cause (she was trying to convert him to an outside dog and his barking was becoming a neighborhood problem....animal control had been called a couple times and up next was the cops with tickets).

But still...if he's not adjusting to being an outside dog and me being gone.....then you just bring him back in and wait until I come home to try and fix it since I'm the alpha.

When someone has utter disregard for your personal property, there is something seriously wrong and demands attention. I'm not saying he's overreacting or not, I'm just saying that **** is hard to just try and get past.

Exactly!

And it's not just the dog. That was just the topper. But she's sold furniture that I picked out and bought....and then just bought new furniture that she like to replace it. That in itself is not a big deal since our furniture tastes differ and I had this before I met her....but she's doing this stuff and then telling me as an afterthought.




There's more stuff going on that I'm not gonna say......but it all warrants action and that action is all based on some changes that need to happen but knowing her, I don't see her going along with these changes.

 

[Captain Canuck]

Dude, Doom that sucks.

I'm really sorry to hear that all this is going on. It's never easy when stuff falls apart.

I hope you guys will be able to work it out, if for no other reason than for your daughter's sake.

I'll be praying.