Um... search harder?
Or lower your standards. That's all I've got.
As I've said, I can't really think of a feasible way to search much harder, and my standards aren't really that high.
Like I'm going to remember what part of Canada you currently reside in. For all I know you're a bilingual Québécois.
It's stated in the upper right of every post I've ever made, the same as everybody else on the board.
And Planet-Man, you are putting way too much emphasis on this. Trust me on that.
That's what I was thinking.
I know this could easily be true, and I've tried to focus on it before, but the bottom line is that without being able to feel it for myself, first-hand, I just can't get my head around it being true.
I've heard the exact opposite too, that it really is all it's cracked up to be, from some of my smartest and happiest friends. And if some people think that opposite, the chance that I could have first-hand experiece of
that if something worked out is just too incredible to put out of mind.
But either result could ultimately satisfy me and allow me to move on to other conquests, ending this whole dilemma. In the meantime, I am stuck wondering, all the time, because until I know, most other things just seem to pale in comparison to those reports of the best case scenarios.
You have to let things grow organically. If you go out looking for a girlfriend it won't happen, because whether you realize it or not you have a preconceived notion of what the ideal girl is like and it prevents you - again, whether you realize it or not - from seeing girls who do not fit that notion as potentials.
For pretty much all of high school the organic thing was my complete approach, and that has been how a lot of my friend's relationships have happened, but nothing ever really came my way. I dated two girls in high school and I wasn't really interested in either of them. Both of them asked me out in the first place, both of them were dumped by me after a couple dates.
When it comes to looking for a girl meaning it won't happen, the thing is, it
has happened, for a great many people I know after they went out and looked. Because the girls they sought, the ones who fit their preconceived ideals, just happened to be single. It forces me to ask why is this not the case with me, and only me, and none of them?
And you're absolutely right about me having those ideals too, and when it comes to the girls I've liked the most I've done so because they fit them, but I've been into
legions of girls who I was well-aware would never fit any of those things and would probably end up being wrong for me, but I still wanted to try it just to see, another thing most of my friends have done, only they.... were.... taken.... too, every single time.
There's a reason why most people say they weren't looking for a girl when they found one.
That's the reason. Did I expect to find Sexynurse at a Christmas party?
No. I went to the party to have a good time, and she just happened to be there. After spending most of the party with her, then I started thinking of her as a girlfriend, and then, I went for it.
I know exactly what you mean, and I've had this EXACT experience a number of times. The only difference is that after the final "then" in that sentence, Sexynurse's boyfriend didn't show up, while for me that's been when they have every single time.
Another thing guys tend to do is hesitate. Don't. It never pays off to 'wait for the right moment'. Just go for it. Life isn't a romantic comedy.
What I find the most amusing about the current trend of conversation, I've slept with girls who've had boyfriends at the time.
I should mention that pretty much all of the relationships they've been in have been quite happy ones and that pretty much all the girls I like aren't the kind who would cheat if they were already happy.
But even so.... I've tried this too a few times too in cases where I didn't know they were involved until after I asked, but it's been "but the thing is.... I'm already seeing somebody", and that's that(and no, they're not making it up, I've eventually seen the proof in every case
).
Anyway, again, I do really appreciate all this and don't mean to sound dismissive.
