Cap I responded to this in my review.
Had he not done that I would agree with you. Also when did "realistic" mean the person has to be an *******? Man of Steel had that same problem. It's so cynical and it disgusts me because I live every day trying to help people and be kind to everyone I meet (something I learned from Superman (my number #1 role model as a child (and I guess adult as well) because my adoptive father and I didn't really get along too well when I was growing up) and Spider-Man). Does this make me "unrealistic"?
First, I'm impressed by the nesting parentheses. Well done.
Second, is that quote responding to Peter's character arc? If so, then I would simply ask if the decision to break the unfair promise he was forced to make to a man on his deathbed really negates all of his growth as a character. Maybe he really was wrong to break the promise, maybe it really was a selfish decision. He still grew as a character from an angry vengeful person to someone who tried to help others. He still has room to grow. Guess what, Gwen is going to die b/c she is Spider-Man's girlfriend. That HAS to happen. And, like you said in your review, that pushes Peter's story along. Gwen's death is almost as essential to the Spider-Man mythos (and Peter's growth as a hero) as Uncle Ben's death (which is why I don't like that Sins Past messed with her. It would have been just as upsetting if there was a retcon story that suggested that Uncle Ben really died b/c he slept with the burglar's wife. Gwen and Ben are innocents that Peter loved, but that died because of Peter. If you make them less innocent it messes it up). Anyway, my point is that Peter had to get back together with Gwen so she can die. And that will help him to grow too. He doesn't come to the end of the first movie as a finished product, but as a guy who has completed the first leg of his journey. He's not there yet, but he HAS grown. And that's exactly as it should be.
That's why I like Spider-Man better than Batman, b/c Batman is the world's best everything and has no potential for growth. Spidey is a neurotic mess who is just trying to do his best. He doesn't have it all figured out, he makes mistakes, he isn't superior... But he has a good heart and he's trying to navigate the whole hero thing. He grows. ASM captured that and that's why I liked it so much (and actually, that's why I liked Nolan's Batman movies more than I actually like Batman...and the reason that a lot of real Batman fans didn't love them, especially Rises).
Third, as for what you said about realism not being the same as cynicism, I agree. And I don't think I ever implied otherwise, so I'll assume that statement was aimed at the movie more than at me [EDIT: oh, it was aimed at DiB's statement.] Yes, Peter is a jerk for a good portion of this movie. I don't think that makes him a more realistic character, it just is a different take on his journey that adds some more meat to the bones of the classic "Uncle Ben dies b/c Peter didn't stop the guy when he could have -> Peter becomes a hero" story. It just fills in the details of what it took to get him there. Is it more realistic? Maybe, maybe not, but I certainly find it more interesting.
They didn't have to redo the origin, but since they decided to, I'm glad they went a different direction that Raimi's films did. In Raimi's Spider-Man, the first act was the origin story, and then they moved on to the rest of the movie and focused more on the Green Goblin as the driving force behind the plot. In ASM, the entire movie is Spider-Man's origin. He doesn't become a hero until the third act and even then, he's still struggling with it. I'll freely admit that as a result, the Lizard story is a little bit meh, but that's okay b/c the Lizard story is just another vehicle to drive the REAL story which is Peter's growth into a hero.
I hope the sequel develops the villains better. Harry Osborn is my favourite Spidey villain b/c it sucks so much that Peter's best friend goes crazy and tries to kill him (there's a lot of personal angst there, which, again, is what Spider-Man is about). But even if he's minor and Electro is the main bad guy, I really hope they make him an interesting character and a credible threat, but I still want that to take a back seat to Peter's story.
You mentioned that Superman is your number one role model (and I would therefore assume your favourite super hero too). Superman is super human in every way. He is the quintessential super hero. He isn't flawed. He always does the right thing. He is an ideal. He really is a 'Christ-figure.' Spider-Man isn't that. He never has been. He shouldn't ever be. He's just a dude who got some powers and is trying to do his best. I don't want my Spider-Man comics or movies to try to make him like Superman (or Doc Ock, but that's a whole other rant). Keep him a flawed person, keep him growing in his heroism, keep him learning from his mistakes.
Fourth, good for you for always trying to help people and be kind to everyone (I mean that, good for you!) I try to do that too. But I fail. That's why I don't want a fictional hero who is a Christ-figure and is flawless. A role model like that would be discouraging for me, I think. But I am really thankful for Jesus Christ who not only is a flawless role model but makes up the difference for my failures (see my signature - yeah, I know, I know, I'm blindsiding you with stuff about my faith, but it's pertinent to the discussion for me). I don't think I've ever thought of Spider-Man as a role model, or as someone to look up to. But as fantasy escapism he's awesome b/c I can relate to him. I could probably do what he does if I got powers, because Peter Parker is just some guy. He's the hero that was designed to be relatable. He's anyone that ever got picked on, or who got turned down by a girl, or who wasn't good at sports, or who couldn't figure out how to balance his life, or who couldn't catch a break at work, or who could barely make rent, or who let down his parents. That's what I meant when I said he's the Everyman.
