Law & Order: UC Episode 6

The ruins of a plane....somewhere...

Houde: Where are we?
VVD: I think somewhere tropical dumbass. And nighttime at that.

VVD was pissed, He was flying in a plane, which crashed, only his compatriots lived, and now they were stuck on some tropical island. That, and he already punched the lights out of various animals that gave him weird looks.

The island was learning to fear VVD.

Ice: Guys....I hear something.
Random: Where?

The four cops come up over the mountain top to see something massive. A castle was there, being seiged by a bunch of monsters it seemed.

Houde: What? How did we get here?
VVD: You know where we are?
Houde: New Zealand, of course.
Ice: We need to save those people.
VVD: I'm in a surly mood, so I'm on it.

Cocking back his fist, he ran down the hill, straight into the monsters.

Random: This is the filming of Two Towers, isn't it?
Houde: Yea
Ice: People are dying out there!
Houde: Ice, it's a movie, relax.

VVD screamed out with joy.

VVD: Take that you monkies!

Random: Yeah, so anyway, we need to get to Bass' apartment.
Houde: Why?
Random: Cause, that's where he is.
Houde: I knew I forgot something!
Ice: And you say your the smart one.
Houde: I am. None of you guys thought of knocking on his apartment door.

Behind them, two bushes scurried away.

One of them had a trophy on it's head.

TGO: Soon Entrophy, Soon we shall do what we set out to do!
Entrophy: I can hardly wait. SOon it will be time.
TGO: TO KILL BASS!

---

The jails

An explosion. Rubble rained down on the prisoners as SlimJim's device worked, blowing out a hole in the wall.

SlimJim: Freedom!
Moonmaster: Let's us go forth, and find Bass so that I may kill him for what he has done!
Dr. Strangefate: Oh my, I can finally get my makeup updated, and, oh boy, I can save that man from wearing plaid.
Baxter: Quick, I need to get to the batcave!
Ultimate Quicksilver: Ten bucks mate, I can get you there in five minutes.

Ultimate Quicksilver jumped out the hole.....

...and plummeted ten stories.

SlimJim: Oh damn, that was whack!
MoonmasteR: Slimjim you idiot, now, build me a teleportation device so I won't end up as a road pizza, and be quick about it.
Slimjim: Why don't we use the fire escape.

He pointed at the fire escape right next to them.

The assembled criminals and one crazy mayor made their way down the stairs, eventually coming to the bottom. They looked at Ultimate Quicksilver, who was imbedded in the pavement.

Moonmaster: Has he crapped his pants yet. I hear when dead guys die, they crap their pants.
Slimjim: They make diapers for that
Baxter: Come Robin, we shall...Robin?

Dr. Strangefate was in the middle of the street, metrosexualizing the population of New York once more.

Moonmaster: Let us make use of this distraction, come Slimjim, time to get Bass back for what he has done!
Slimjim: Oh boy!

They ran off, leaving a Baxter looking on at Dr. Strangefate's actions.

Baxter: You know, he isn't acting like Robin...

Meanwhile, back in the jail cell looking down the hole was Watcher.

Watcher: No one is going to believe this.

On the street, Ultimate Quicksilver crapped his pants.

Next on Law & Order.

Everyone arrives at Bass' Apartment the same time and someone craps their pants once more.
 
Last edited:
Ultimate Houde said:
Random's Law & Order:UC opening
Click to expand...
Annndddd....


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

Oh dude, you are the ****ing daddy.

I love you.

That is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

You win the internet.

*gush gush gush*

HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

*wipes tears*

I might have to get talking to you about flash, as I used to use it at uni
and am rusty.


Thanks for the laugh!
Bass
Click to expand...

seal.gif


PS I know I spelt internet wrong.
 
Makes it funnier Random, and allows for the funny skit in mind.

NEXT ON THE FINAL INSTALLMENT OF LAW & ORDER!

Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a wild ride for the past year, but everything good must come to the end. If the site doesn't experience another world wide failure, soon, the end of a wonderful series.

You've seen them cry, you've seen them laugh, you've watched them run over criminals, and now, you'll see the final chapter.

Everyone arrives at Bass' house. How does this tie into the pictures that Houde had recieved at the beginning? How long has this been going on? What did Bass need to do at his house for over two months?

The answers will shock you. And answers to questions you never wanted to know.

Will Nigma ever accept Ice as his partner? Does TGO ever change his socks? Will Houde finally get the best turkey club sandwich ever? Will E and VVD finally go to anger management courses? Does anyone really know how Slimjim manages to construct these wild and fantastical machines yet is still caught every time? Can DIrishB smoke another fatty in a police station? DO Manwithoutfear and Nurhachi finally get it on with eachother? And last, what award will Random recieve for his good work?

All these answers, plus several others on questions that no one has, NEXT ON THE FINAL INSTALLMENT OF LAW AND ORDER: UC!

DUN DUN

*****es.
 
I promise, this will be posted on next Tuesday

I'm going on vacation this afternoona nd tried to finish it by then, but the ending was rushed and I have run out of time, so I will fix it up on Tuesday

Thank you for being patient
 
JFK Airport

The plane landed, and Houde, VVD, Ice, and Random all walked out. They were walking in slow motion, and a dramatic wind blew by, waving their clothes all dramatic like. They stop and all face the camera.

Houde: Let's do this.

Each of them put on sunglasses, and they walk off, still dramatic like.

But, as usual, Ice ruins it.

Ice: Um Houde, I ain't walking all the way to Bass'. And why are we acting like we are in a Bruckheimer movie? Like Bad Boys or something.
VVD: Damn Ice, I'm going to smack you silly.

VVD goes to punch Ice reflexively when his hand is stopped in midair.

VVD: Who dares!

The hand holding VVD's turns out to be Nigma's.

Nigma: He's my partner, and I missed his blabbering. No one gets to smack him except me.
Ice: YAY!
Nigma: Shut up you whiny Hispanic boy.
Ice: You got it right!
Nigma: Yea yea yea, you guys need a ride?
Houde: Yup, going to Bass' apartment. Why you at the airport anyways?
Nigma: Chasing down some villains. They escaped from the jail, and right now Dr. Strangefate is nearby.
Houde: Good thing we got Ice then, since he….OH NO!

Dr. Strangefate appears on top of the roof of the airport, laughing manically.

Dr. Strangefate: Not even Ice is immune to my powers anymore! I have transcended past metrosexualizing men, I am now conducting their own fate!
Houde: That makes little sense.
Random: Like any of our criminals have cared about sense before.
VVD: Let me punch him
Nigma: You go to punch him, he'll metrosexualize you.
VVD: That sounds like it sucks
Nigma: In more ways than one.
Houde: Let's not take that suck joke too far people, this is a family show.
VVD: So what we gonna do, let him screw up men all over the world?

A stretch limo pulls up, and a man gets out. He runs over to the door and opens it, and out steps Baxter, except he no longer seems to be the misguided fool of previous episodes, he seems more focused now, his eyes are sharp, and in his Hawaiian shirt, he seems to embody coolness.

Baxter: You folks get out of here, I'll handle this.
Houde: But Mayor…
Baxter: GO! I shall make Dr. Strangefate realize the foolishness of his ways.
Dr. Strangefate: That old geezer! I could metro him in five minutes with my pinky.

VVD opens his mouth, but Houde shakes his head.

Houde: Family board.
VVD: BUT!
Houde: You'll just get censored. Everyone, let's get going, the mayor said he'll handle it.
Random: He's just a mayor though
VVD: Yea, but it looks like a man scorned.
Baxter: You used me, and now, I SHALL DEFEAT YOU!

Baxter opens his suit jacket to reveal a utility belt. An unseen wind ripples his clothes.

Dr. Strangefate: Batman???
Baxter: No, not Batman, I AM BAXTER!
***

As our cops hustled it to Bass' House, the nefarious Moonmaster and crew also hustled it to the house of Bass.

Moonmaster: We must get there quickly, that *** can't have occupied the cops for long!
Slimjim: I'm driving this thing as fast as I can.
Moonmaster: RUN FASTER!

Slimjim had stolen a rickshaw from someone, and was using it to cart Moonmaster around the streets of New York.

Moonmaster: You know Slimmy, this rickshaw is very pimped out, I wonder whose it is…

**

Meanwhile

Compound: Hey, Ourchair, I'll drive us to the McDonalds on my new, pimped out rickshaw.
Ourchair: What happened to your accent
Compound: Writer retconned it, anyways, you want a lift.
Ourchair: Sure man, let's go.

The two cops walk outside.

Compound: I can't believe it.
Ourchair: Man, I'm so sorry

Compound kneels down on the street and screams.

Compound: STEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRAAAAA!
Ourchair: Good to know that retcon didn't last long…
**

MoonmasteR: Seriously, this rickshaw is very very nice.
Slimjim: OH GAWD, WHAT IS THAT SMELL!!!!!!!

Slimjim loses control of the rickshaw, causing both people to crash into the street.

Moonmaster: Slimjim, why did you crash? Oh by the bowels of Hell, what is that smell?
Slimjim: It stinks man, it stinks!

TGO and entropy stood on the doorstep of E's house. TGO has his shoe off, and was digging inside of it. His socks, filthy and stained, were exposed to actual air for the first time in weeks.

TGO: The pebble in my show Entropy, it's very far in there.

Entropy looks like he's about to respond before his eyes roll into his head, and he falls down.

TGO: At least he didn't die.

Entropy crapped his pants.

TGO: I never knew I smelled that bad.
Moonmaster: TGO! Get your socks on right this minute!
TGO: BOSS! WHY ARE YOU HERE?
Moonmaster: You know why I'm here TGO! I'm here for one reason and one reason only!

Suddenly, Nigma pulls up in Baxter's limo. The five cops jump out.
Houde: Freeze mothers!
Moonmaster: Random, you work for the bad guys, how could you?
Random: What can I say, they have better benefits.
Moonmaster: Really?
Random: Hell ya, they have a great dental plan, and the eyecare plan is to die for!
Slimjim: Should we have TGO take his shoe off again?
Moonmaster: No, that's just not right.
TGO: I must go kill Bass, I MUST!
Houde: Which one of you asses sent me the pictures to keep me away from Bass' house, huh? Which one of you?
Moonmaster: That was me of course.
Houde: Why did you send them to Bass as well?
Moonmaster: Because, I wanted him to come to me.
Houde: WHY?
TGO: Enough of answers, I'm going to kill Bass.

TGO run up the flight of stairs, and stood at the top.

TGO: I AM GREATNESS PERSONIFIED!

Then, the door to Bass' apartment opened, which hit TGO, and he fell down the stairs.

TGO: THE PAIN!
Moonmaster: You didn't even get scratched.
TGO: MY KNEE! I NEED MY MOMMY!
Random: You guys see what I had to deal with.
Houde: VVD, shut him up.
VVD: FINALLY! UNCALLED FOR VIOLENCE!

VVD rushed over to hit TGO, and did so.

VVD: HUH? YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR GREATNESS NOW? WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Houde: Well, that keeps VVD Occupied.
Nigma: Can we find something to keep Ice occupied, he keeps touching me.
Ice: Your denim feels so good though, were did you buy it?
Houde: We'll take care of that later, one crisis at a time
VVD: YOU WANNA CRY NOW?
TGO: You have issues.
VVD: YEAH, ISSUES WITH YOUR FACE!
Houde: Things tend to do this all the time, now Moonmaster, WHY DID YOU WANT BASS?
Moonmaster: Easily, because….

The door to Bass' apartment reopens, and everyone freezes, Moonmaster stops in midsentence, and everyone looks up to see Bass.
Kissing Famke.

Famke: Call me later
Bass: Sure thing babe.

She runs down the stairs, and passes everyone. VVD tips his hat to her before he kicks TGO one more time.

Ice: Why was he giving her mouth to mouth when she obviously didn't need it?
Nigma: Oh, Ice….I have so much to teach you
Ice: So, you're going to be my friend?
Nigma: Even more my little honkey, I will be your mentor
Ice: I'm Hispanic you know.
Nigma: Don't worry, we'll fix that too.
Houde: BASS!
Bass: Um…why is everyone here?
Houde: I got strange photos in the mail, and E told me you were in trouble, so I assembled this task force to find you
Bass: The metrosexual, someone with violence issues, someone who can't decide on which side he is on, and yourself.
Houde: The best task force in history.
Bass: I see that, isn't what VVD doing called police brutality.
VVD: I don't think so

He plucks another eyebrow hair from TGO's head.

Houde: That is strange.

VVD sees everyone looking at him oddly, so he punches TGO again.

TGO: OW!
VVD" See, I'm keeping him down.
TGO: That hurt!

Bass: Well, Houde, you could have called me.
Houde: That would have made to much sense.
Bass: Point, instead you went on a world hopping adventure I take it.
Ice: Yeah, and we all got to shop in the coolest of places.
Bass: Interesting
Moonmaster: Bass, did you do it!
Bass: Of course I did little bro.
Houde: Bass, if you're helping the enemy, I'm going to have to arrest you.
Bass: Nope, I'll helped him with something else.

Bass pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Moonmaster, who looks at them.

Moonmaster: EXCELLENT!
Houde: What is that?
Bass: An application, Mooney needed help with it.
Houde: What's he applying for?
Moonmaster: To become a cop.
Houde: That makes absolutely no sense.
Bass: I know.
Slimjim: Damn, you mean I'm the only one here who commits crime? Fo' Realz yo?
Bass: Well, TGO does kill people.
TGO: HE KEEPS HITTING ME!
VVD: CAUSE YO WHINE, YOU STUCK UP PIG
TGO: BUT YOU'RE A PIG!
VVD: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!
Slimjim: Wellz, see ya guyz around!

Slimjim started to run away,

Bass: Moonmaster, your first case, catch Slmjim, it's a right of passage for all cops.
Moonmaster: Slimjim, COME BACK HERE!

Everyone laughs as the former crime boss now police recruit runs off after Slimjim,

A couple of days later

DIrishB wakes into the police station, looking for MWoF and Nurhachi.

DIrishB: Yo! You guys here!
MWoF: In here.
Nurhachi: And no one else is here.
DIrishB: You guys want me to come back later, after your sexfest
Nurhachi: We ain't having sex with each other, we're smoking some pot
DIrishB: Where is everyone?
Nurhachi: They are downtown, at the award ceremony for Random.
DIrishB: Then you know what time it is?
MWoF: What time is it?
DIrishB: 4:20 *****es!
Nurhachi: BOOYA!


Downtown

Baxter: And for his outstanding service in the police department, we award Random this trophy.

Bqaxter's new assistant, the recently defeated Dr. Strangefate who ius no longer terroizing the citizens of New York with his metrosexualizing ways, hands the trophy to Random. Houde leans over to whisper to Bass.

Houde: Do you think he notices they spelt Random wrong?
Bass: No, someone will point it out to him later, and he'll have to take it off his mantelpiece in shame.
Houde: Nice.

The screen goes black.

Pandrio walks into the blank screen, holding his keyboard.

He nods at the crowd, and opens up some curtains, revealing a huge organ. He smiles, a huge one. He throws his keyboard to the side and sits down.

DUN DUN
 
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