Law & Order: UC Episode 2

You should check out the first one, if you haven't already, it's here

As for the second part.

Houde and Bass investigate the first crime scene. Nur and MWoF decide they are going to need some inside help against this hate crimer. ProjectX2 ans E talk about the olden days.
 
DUN DUN

The first crime scene.
A subway wall

Houde: You know, this story seems to be really really good.

Houde stood there, copying the story word for word on the wall. Bass was checking onthe writing style, while Compound stood in the background, checking survillence cameras, while his buddy OurChair translated for him.

Compound: 500 dollars!
Ourchair: He's almost got the code crack.
Houde (reading from the wall): And then Superman turns around to see...Wow, really, Mirror Master? Wonder why he's here...

Houde goes back to scribling.

Bass: This makes no sense what so ever, why would someone kidnap Krypto?
Houde: Maybe it's a Lex subplot.
Bass: No, this is Loebendis, he's put a stupid obvious clue in somewhere. We need to figure out the ending before he writes it and goes under ground again.
Compound: Two dollar Special!
Ourchair: He's in!

Houde and Bass rush over.

What they is a a overwieght bald man run into the subway. He proceeds to hold people against the wall, then start writing a story on it. He writes over the people, who scream in terror, and whenever he dots an 'i', or ends a sentence.

Bass: This is just horrible
Houde: grusome
Ourchair: The humanity
Compound: Out of steamed rice.
Houde: It's a good thing those people stayed on the wall like that for us to copy the story down.

He looks up, and people are still standing against the wall.

People: No prob.
Houde: Good, I wonder why they are so helpful though.
Bass: Probably because you threatened them with your gun.
Houde: Well, the black guy tried to steal my chicken leg.
---

Police Car
Nurhachi and MWoF's

Nur: We are going to need help
MWoF: Someone with a sick enough mind, like this criminals.
Nur: Someone who can think round corners, and improvise strange insults.
MWoF: But E fired JTG a long time ago.
Nur: No, not him, he's not around anyways. We need DIrishB.
MWoF: Why do we need the pothead?
Nur: Exactly
MWoF: Oh, I see now.
Nur: Siren's on, this is an emergency!

As they drive towards DIrishB's bungalow, a figure pops his head out of a sewer grate, and laughs evilly like.

Then coughs.

Figure: I hate sewers, they are so messy!
---

Project's Desk

E: Young people these days don't know anything
ProjectX2: I know huh
E: I think we need to show those two new recruits around town.
ProjectX2: And how the old timers do things.
Cad: Hey, Skotti told me you were over here.
E: If it isn't my favorite albino born again Hindu.
Cad: You know others?
E: Yea, I mean, who doesn't?
ProjectX2: We may have a prblem E
Cad: Anyways, the case against Loebendis, I'm workin gon it. Once Nurhahci and MWoF get him in....
E: I sent Houde and BAss on the case.
Cad: What, after last time? We still can't get the stain off the lobby floor out there.
E: I know, but he wasn't budging.
Cad: FIne, I hope they don't screw up though.
ProjectX2: E, alittle help here
E: What's the matter?
ProjectX2: I can't get off my chair. I'v been sitting here too long.
E (yelling): DAMN IT PROJECT! HAWKEYE101, ORSON, GET A CROWBAR OVER HERE, NOW!
 
I would never get stuck to a chair.

*tries*
 
You know, after reading both 1 and 2....I'm starting to think I'm only here to be carted out on occassion and cause trauma to poor Houde. God love ya, all you need to do is have me start slapping the crap outta people, and you've pretty much pegged me. :twisted:
 
Part Three

Nur and MWoF recruit DIrishB to help them. Houde and Bass further investigate the Loebendis case, checking out another crime scene. The Hate crimer strikes again, close to home, as the hate crimer hate crimes Hawkeye101's house while he is away.
 
This is fabulous stuff.

One amazing thing is the day I gave up on Loeb was in fact - a Krypto issue. Amazing.

Houde does his research. :D
 
Bass and Houde are driving, Houde driving, Bass in the passenger seat. Papers are covering his entire body, and he just keeps looking over them, with a wild look in his eyes.

Bass: Damn, where did he find this character from? I never even heard of Freedom Girl before...
Houde: I think you need to relax.
Bass: Can't right now, I need to figure out this plot line.
Houde: It's impossible man, there's no way to figure it out
Bass: I CAN DO IT! I'M THE NEXUS!

Houde gives Bass a weird look.

Houde: Nexus?
Bass: Yes, the Damn Nexus, the creator of the Traitor Manifesto, the semifinalist of the most popular UC member, the person who found Loki in Ultimates 1, me, the damn Nexus, and I can't figure out this PLOT! WHY STARGIRL!
Houde: Cause she look shot in spandex?
Bass: Houde, every comic book girl looks hot in Spandex.
Houde: One lady, Amanda Walters.
Bass: Point
Houde: I bet you Skotti looks hot in spandex.
Bass: Get off of Skotti already, we need to focus.
Houde: Hey, those people are screaming, should we stop?
Bass: Naw
Houde: We're police, shouldn't we stop?
Bass: Is there a fat bald guy with a quill out there?
Houde: No
Bass: Then leave it be.

----

In the middle of the screaming.

Girl: What did he do to you?
Guy: I don't know, I was just standing here, then, then, he took off my shirt and put on this pink one, with a hat, and a tie. And I'm wearing sunglasses, AT NIGHT!
Girl: THe horror! But, those are some nice khaki's
Guy: They feel good against my skin too. Like how he did my hair?
Girl: That is nice, let's go back to my place.
Guy: Sure, as long as you don't mess the hair.

---

Nurhachi and MWoF arrive at DIrishB's Bungalow.

Nur: We called, why all the lights off

They knock on the door, Doc Comic answers, in a grey robe.

Doc Comic: Enter mere mortals
Nur: Mortals?
MWoF: Who you calling mere? Where's DIrishB?
Doc Comic: Come on guys, play with it
Nur: Alright fine, lead the way
Doc Comic: Can you call me gatekeeper?
MWoF: No

They enter the bungalow, and find DIrishB on the couch, also dressed ina robe.

Doc Comic: Master, they are here.
DIrishB: Leave us be
Doc Comic: Sure, hey, you guys want funyons?
DIrishB: Dammit Doc Comic, I'm trying to have an atmosphere here
Doc Comic: Oh yeah, sorry, would you like onions that are fun?
MWoF: Sure, can I also get Dew from the Mountains?
Doc Comic: We're out, how about some Up to the Seven?
MWoF: Naw, I'll pass, what about Adams, the Sam version?
Doc Comic: Yeah, we got some, you too Nur, I mean, mortal?
Nur: Whatever, DIrishB, we need your help
DIrishB: I hear you need my help

A pause

Nur: I just told you that
DIrishB: I was using my ability to predict what your going to say
Nur: Your not making sense
DIrishB: You think I''m not making sense

Another pause

Nur: Can I shot him?
MWoF: No, we need his help
DIrishB: I knew you were going to say that.
Nur: I am so going to shoot him
DIishB: I will require a few things from you first
MWoF: Like what?
DIrishB: Rolling papaers, and my stash of weed you took from my last wednesday
MWoF: How about we let you have the stash you have now, and you help us, or masterful one
DIrishB: You drive a hard bargian
Nur: I want to shot him, still
DIrishB: Okay, I'll help you
MWoF: Good, let's go

The three of them leave.

Doc Comic walks back into the room.

Doc Comic:Guys, I got the beer, I mean, the liquid made from the earth. Guys? GUYS? Damn, I wanted to come with.
 
smilie.gif
 
Ultimate Houde said:
I have this whole Bass and Houde shakedown SlimJim thing, I just need a point to fit it in.

That will be comedic gold
Click to expand...
Find a way!!
 
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