Funny Stories from the Comic Book Store

ourchair said:
Nope.
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Don't tell me you don't know who Chasey Lane is.
Zombipanda said:
"Oy vey! Chasey Lane has a tuckus to die for!"*
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*Line delivered by a 14-year-old black kid.
Zombipanda said:
You don't even watch porn. What do you know??
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:lol:
Zombipanda said:
We should overload E's circuitry and then rewire him to be gay. Imagine what his wife would think. It'll be hilarious! Trust me!
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Sounds like an awesome idea for a sitcom!
Wade_Wilson said:
I wish more funny stuff would happen in my lcs. Really I just go in there, pick stuff off the shelf, demand that the dude at the counter gives me my pull list and then leave. Oh, but it's in Pontiac, so there's the off chance that someone will get shot.
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Mee too.
Hibiki said:
I predict you will get shot the next time you 'demand' your pull list.
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SO SAYS NOSTRIBIKI!
Zombipanda said:
Edit: Also, once I got cornered by this real excited dude holding up a Transformers comic, who I'd never seen in my life before. So he comes up to me, and he holds up this spread with a bunch of characters, and points at this one character in the studio audience I can barely see and he's like "Is that Boulder of the Rock Lords? I think that's Boulder of the Rock Lords." So I'm like, "What?" and he's like "Is that Boulder of the Rock Lords? I think that's Boulder of the Rock Lords." So I shake a out a line of coke, snort it off of the comic table, let out a long sigh, and then settle my red, bleary eyes on him. "Who are the Rock Lords?" I say. "They're like Transformers, but they turn into rocks." Okay. Huh. "Well that's pretty useless, isn't it?" And he's like, "No. The bad guys turn into fossils and stuff." and I'm like, "Oh! I get it! It's part of their diabolical scheme to discredit fundamentalists by convincing everyone the world is millions of years old!" and he says, "No. It's a desolate planet, so they turn into rocks for camouflage. They were pretty cool." So I say, "Huh. You know what? I don't know if that's Boulder of the Rock Lords."
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

You should have stoned him to death.

"THE ROCK LORDS ARE COMING FOR YOU!!!"
 
Okay, first of all, Rock Lords FTW!

Second, I can't think of any really funny stories about the comic shop, but to make myself look good I will share that this club at school, The Interact Club, is taking donations to stop genocide in Darfur or something. Now, I don't want to help support that quagmire, but I did donate the first three issues of Squadron Supreme: Hyperion vs. Nighthawk.

So I'm pretty cool.
 
Zombipanda said:
Edit: Also, once I got cornered by this real excited dude holding up a Transformers comic, who I'd never seen in my life before. So he comes up to me, and he holds up this spread with a bunch of characters, and points at this one character in the studio audience I can barely see and he's like "Is that Boulder of the Rock Lords? I think that's Boulder of the Rock Lords." So I'm like, "What?" and he's like "Is that Boulder of the Rock Lords? I think that's Boulder of the Rock Lords." So I shake a out a line of coke, snort it off of the comic table, let out a long sigh, and then settle my red, bleary eyes on him. "Who are the Rock Lords?" I say. "They're like Transformers, but they turn into rocks." Okay. Huh. "Well that's pretty useless, isn't it?" And he's like, "No. The bad guys turn into fossils and stuff." and I'm like, "Oh! I get it! It's part of their diabolical scheme to discredit fundamentalists by convincing everyone the world is millions of years old!" and he says, "No. It's a desolate planet, so they turn into rocks for camouflage. They were pretty cool." So I say, "Huh. You know what? I don't know if that's Boulder of the Rock Lords."
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The one thing that always amuses me about comic book store idiots is that you can actually insult them, insult their mothers and make crude remarks about the size of their private parts, and they will be TOO SOCIALLY RETARDED TO NOTICE.

moonmaster said:
SO SAYS NOSTRIBIKI!
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That's a horrible nickname. Don't ever call her that again. It gives me images of huge nostrils.
 
ourchair said:
The one thing that always amuses me about comic book store idiots is that you can actually insult them, insult their mothers and make crude remarks about the size of their private parts, and they will be TOO SOCIALLY RETARDED TO NOTICE.
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"Hey ****tard, I saw your mom last night. After we got done ****in' she told me how you were hung like a ****in' gerbil."

"...But thee, you can clearly thpot Boulder of the Rock Lordth in the cornerth of both Panel Three and Thix."
That's a horrible nickname. Don't ever call her that again. It gives me images of huge nostrils.
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Now, that sounds like your problem, not mine.
 
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I actually love it when fanboys in my LCS try and convince me that Ultimate Iron Man was a good book, and that Orson Scott Card is the best writer ever. They never know what I'm talking about when I start yelling 'Nanomonkeys!' as a rebuttal.
 
Wade_Wilson said:
I actually love it when fanboys in my LCS try and convince me that Ultimate Iron Man was a good book, and that Orson Scott Card is the best writer ever. They never know what I'm talking about when I start yelling 'Nanomonkeys!' as a rebuttal.
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I never get to get into comic nerd arguments...the idea of having to argue that UIM was bad is just surreal to me. I like to think I'm pretty open minded and able to see some points of an opposing view in a given argument, but for someone to fanboyishly claim that UIM was good...I can't even fathom.
 
E said:
I never get to get into comic nerd arguments...the idea of having to argue that UIM was bad is just surreal to me.
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I get what you mean.

I think comic nerd arguments are mildly okay if you're just joking around with friends. Certainly I like to pick on Compound's taste just because I'm always looking for the most horrible way to frame anyone's enjoyment of a series as an enjoyment based entirely on something shallow. But that's me being a deliberate ***.

But when someone gets in your face to really REALLY REALLY talk about who would win in a fight, Batman or Daredevil? This happened to me once, and the person kept pestering me to AGREE that Batman (or Daredevil, I forget) would win, even though I didn't really express any side. It's like he just couldn't accept the idea that I wouldn't slavishly stand behind one hero (preferably his).

Some people just refuse to accept indifference or a dispassionate sense of opinion. Like the people who refuse to understand that I think Frank Miller is talented and great and smart, but that I'm not a fan. As if recognizing 'greatness' is somehow inextricably tied in with being a 'fan'.
 
ourchair said:
But when someone gets in your face to really REALLY REALLY talk about who would win in a fight, Batman or Daredevil? This happened to me once, and the person kept pestering me to AGREE that Batman (or Daredevil, I forget) would win, even though I didn't really express any side. It's like he just couldn't accept the idea that I wouldn't slavishly stand behind one hero (preferably his).
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I love comics and I love the characters...but I can't imagine caring that much about anything.
 
E said:
I love comics and I love the characters...but I can't imagine caring that much about anything.
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I think ultimately it comes down to this:

I can love the character of Batman and Daredevil and care about their character. But that's not the same thing as saying I love and care about Batman and Daredevil PERIOD.
 
ourchair said:
I think ultimately it comes down to this:

I can love the character of Batman and Daredevil and care about their character. But that's not the same thing as saying I love and care about Batman and Daredevil PERIOD.
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Yeah. Those guys are total nerds.

The real question is: Who would win - Batman or James Bond?
 
Wade_Wilson said:
I actually love it when fanboys in my LCS try and convince me that Ultimate Iron Man was a good book, and that Orson Scott Card is the best writer ever. They never know what I'm talking about when I start yelling 'Nanomonkeys!' as a rebuttal.
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Yeah, the only conversations I've gotten into at my lcs are with one of the clerks, as we both have very similar tastes.
Zombipanda said:
Yeah. Those guys are total nerds.

The real question is: Who would win - Batman or James Bond?
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OMG TOTALLY BATMAN **** YOU MOTHER****ER I'M GOING TO ****ING KILL YOU IF YOU EVER ****ING INSULT THE ****ING DARK KNIGHT BAT ****ING MAN FOREVER *****!!!
 
I remember when the crazy man came into our LCS. He wanted a cigarette. When he couldn't get one, as the 600 smokers that hang out there were all out, he proceeded to rip down all the displays and barehanded smash 3 display cases. Then he ran outside and attempted to rip a friend of mine out of his car. After failing at that he fled on foot to be chased down by police, but not before jumping out a second story window and running some more.

It was an interesting night.
 
*shakes head*

See kids, all those anti-smoking ads are correct.
 
moonmaster said:
*shakes head*

See kids, all those anti-smoking ads are correct.
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See, what Fredric Wertham would have said was that comics turn good law-abiding smokers into homicidal sociopaths.
 
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