Dumbest Thing You've Ever Heard A Friend Say

Gamma Man said:
Actually, the big brute got confused. He didn't know to punch me, complement me 4 dissing him, or throw me in a thrash can. So, he left.
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I think "Punch" would have been the correct answer.
 
All of these statements were made by one of my good "friends". We'll call him "Kyle".

Kyle: Someone stole my french fries!
Me: No one stole your stupid french fries. You ate them.
Kyle: Shut up, Max. I'm so sick of you guys and your stupid little immature games. I have ZERO TOLERATION left for people stealing my food!! (He was sure to stand up, yell this and smash his hands on the table as he said this.)

Kyle should be an entrapenure:

Kyle: So I have this idea...we could start selling empty soda bottles.
Me and my other friends: ::Blank Stare::
Kyle: Yeah, see, we could sell them to people for $0.08, and then they could go and trade them in for $0.10. Everyone would buy them, and we'd make tons of money.
Me: Kyle that's...are you...what a fantastic Idea. I wish I thought of that.

Durring social studdies:

Teacher: The Cuban economy was unable to sustain itself in (whatever year) becasue the people and government lacked the necissary...what? Kyle?
Kyle: Um...it lacked the necissary...economics.
Teacher: Um...no. Kyle, what did they need more of?
Kyle: Oh...um...Cuba...Oh! They needed more drugs.
Teacher: MONEY, Kyle! They needed more godamn MONEY!

Kyle is a history expert:

Kyle I'm so tired of you guys playing your stupid WWII games. Like that dumb "Battlefield 1932".

He even knows where the whitehouse is!

Me Shut up, Kyle. You're from Kansas. You don't know anything.
Kyle Yeah, well you're from Washington (the state, not the capital).
(his best impersonation of me) "OOOH, look at me! I'm Max! I'm from Washington, and we think we're so cool, because we have the whitehouse in our state!"

He once glued his hand to his face. No, really.

(someone comments on something stupid that someone did)
Marc Well, to do that you'd need to have the mental capacity of a man who once glued his hand to his face. Like, Kyle for example.
Kyle Shut up! I only did that one time. And it was by accident.
Me Wait...Kyle ACTUALLY glued his hand to his face??
Marc ...Yeah...
Me Wait...how do you glue your hand to your face by accident?
Kyle I hope all of your children have birth defects. You guys suck.

I've been friends with Kyle for about 10 years now, and I've heard him say many, many stupid things, but these are just the ones that come to mind. What really drives me insane is that he has a 4.0 GPA and I have a 3.4...
 
Wade_Wilson said:
Teacher: The Cuban economy was unable to sustain itself in (whatever year) becasue the people and government lacked the necissary...what? Kyle?
Kyle: Um...it lacked the necissary...economics.
Teacher: Um...no. Kyle, what did they need more of?
Kyle: Oh...um...Cuba...Oh! They needed more drugs.
Teacher: MONEY, Kyle! They needed more godamn MONEY!
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I can't stop laughing at this.:lol: :lol:
 
Wade_Wilson said:
All of these statements were made by one of my good "friends". We'll call him "Kyle".

Kyle: Someone stole my french fries!
Me: No one stole your stupid french fries. You ate them.
Kyle: Shut up, Max. I'm so sick of you guys and your stupid little immature games. I have ZERO TOLERATION left for people stealing my food!! (He was sure to stand up, yell this and smash his hands on the table as he said this.)

Kyle should be an entrapenure:

Kyle: So I have this idea...we could start selling empty soda bottles.
Me and my other friends: ::Blank Stare::
Kyle: Yeah, see, we could sell them to people for $0.08, and then they could go and trade them in for $0.10. Everyone would buy them, and we'd make tons of money.
Me: Kyle that's...are you...what a fantastic Idea. I wish I thought of that.

Durring social studdies:

Teacher: The Cuban economy was unable to sustain itself in (whatever year) becasue the people and government lacked the necissary...what? Kyle?
Kyle: Um...it lacked the necissary...economics.
Teacher: Um...no. Kyle, what did they need more of?
Kyle: Oh...um...Cuba...Oh! They needed more drugs.
Teacher: MONEY, Kyle! They needed more godamn MONEY!

Kyle is a history expert:

Kyle I'm so tired of you guys playing your stupid WWII games. Like that dumb "Battlefield 1932".

He even knows where the whitehouse is!

Me Shut up, Kyle. You're from Kansas. You don't know anything.
Kyle Yeah, well you're from Washington (the state, not the capital).
(his best impersonation of me) "OOOH, look at me! I'm Max! I'm from Washington, and we think we're so cool, because we have the whitehouse in our state!"

He once glued his hand to his face. No, really.

(someone comments on something stupid that someone did)
Marc Well, to do that you'd need to have the mental capacity of a man who once glued his hand to his face. Like, Kyle for example.
Kyle Shut up! I only did that one time. And it was by accident.
Me Wait...Kyle ACTUALLY glued his hand to his face??
Marc ...Yeah...
Me Wait...how do you glue your hand to your face by accident?
Kyle I hope all of your children have birth defects. You guys suck.

I've been friends with Kyle for about 10 years now, and I've heard him say many, many stupid things, but these are just the ones that come to mind. What really drives me insane is that he has a 4.0 GPA and I have a 3.4...
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Sounds like the stupidest person I've ever heard of.
 
It's too bad DGSpider-fan's stupid chick is going out with his brother, because she and Kyle are perfect for each other.

I bet if you got them to have a conversation with each other, it would be so stupid that the universe would implode just to make the hurting stop.
 
TwilightEL said:
It's too bad DGSpider-fan's stupid chick is going out with his brother, because she and Kyle are perfect for each other.

I bet if you got them to have a conversation with each other, it would be so stupid that the universe would implode just to make the hurting stop.
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They could make the dumbest babies ever.
 
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Wade_Wilson said:
They could make the dumbest babies ever.
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xmen46.jpg

ultimatedjf said:
"My name is Kyle. Kyle.... XY."
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*no belly button*
 
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