Dreamcasting: Adaptations #10 - GI JOE

[Victor Von Doom]

Who won? I know I didn't enter just curious as to what the next round will be

Bass did.


He needs to have his new project up by today.

 

[Willverine]

Bass did.


He needs to have his new project up by today.

As a military man, I expected you to participate in the GI Joe casting Doom. Though I respeck your service to the country, I dis-respeck your non-participation, because I feel it would've been top notch.

You disappoint me sir. In that aspect, anyway.

(Just kiddin man. All respeck due to the fightin' men and women of the services.)

 

[Victor Von Doom]

As a military man, I expected you to participate in the GI Joe casting Doom. Though I respeck your service to the country, I dis-respeck your non-participation, because I feel it would've been top notch.

You disappoint me sir. In that aspect, anyway.

(Just kiddin man. All respeck due to the fightin' men and women of the services.)

Maybe I'll do a cast later when I'm not so obssessed with something else.



Actually....my opinions of GI Joe have lessened since joining the military. This came from several absurd/realistic observations I've made.

Such as:

• Uniforms - THEY HAVE NO STANDARD UNIFORM! A Multi Joint Task Force such as this (even back in the 80s) would at least have a common BDU (battle dress uniform). Meanwhile the whole crew runs around in whatever they please. And don't get me started on General Hawk (or General Crazy Pants as I like to call him). He wears his helmet indoors...with a fighter pilot jacket....mixed with his BDUs....while carrying a German Kuger? Crazy!!!!
• Weapons - beige M16 rifles that shoot lasers? Reeally? A military intelligence officer who specializes in the crossbow? Really? When did she go to training to learn and use that.....The Crusades?
• Job/Duty Titles - You mean instead of Info/Tech Manager and Infantryman I could've signed up as ninja ranger like Snake Eyes? Or how Duke is a First Sergeant? If that's the case...why is he allowed to pilot the aircraft and tanks? I can tell you what a First Sergeant does......and Duke damn sure ain't doing it.

And that's only the beginning......

 

[Ultimate Houde]

My cast was vastly superior to Bass' and I'm upset you all voted for him

 

[Bass]

Bass did.


He needs to have his new project up by today.

w00t! I had no idea!

I need to think of an idea!

*think think think*

Maybe I'll do a cast later when I'm not so obssessed with something else.



Actually....my opinions of GI Joe have lessened since joining the military. This came from several absurd/realistic observations I've made.

Such as:

• Uniforms - THEY HAVE NO STANDARD UNIFORM! A Multi Joint Task Force such as this (even back in the 80s) would at least have a common BDU (battle dress uniform). Meanwhile the whole crew runs around in whatever they please. And don't get me started on General Hawk (or General Crazy Pants as I like to call him). He wears his helmet indoors...with a fighter pilot jacket....mixed with his BDUs....while carrying a German Kuger? Crazy!!!!
• Weapons - beige M16 rifles that shoot lasers? Reeally? A military intelligence officer who specializes in the crossbow? Really? When did she go to training to learn and use that.....The Crusades?
• Job/Duty Titles - You mean instead of Info/Tech Manager and Infantryman I could've signed up as ninja ranger like Snake Eyes? Or how Duke is a First Sergeant? If that's the case...why is he allowed to pilot the aircraft and tanks? I can tell you what a First Sergeant does......and Duke damn sure ain't doing it.

And that's only the beginning......

But... that would suck as toys! Plus! Balloon-attack on Statue of Liberty!

FULL FORCE!

My cast was vastly superior to Bass' and I'm upset you all voted for him

 

[Ultimate Houde]

I will get my revenge on you

 

[Ultimate Houde]

First off, I'm posting no pictures, just links to the actors IMDB page because pictures really don't tell you everything. I also tried to keep my actors relatively unknown, as a movie with this many roles would need to do, and for the most part, I managed that.

The plot of my movie is we begin at a used car dealership, where the actor portraying Cobra commander is making a sale. He fails, and is perturbed. Walking into his office, we see a bunch of pictures which show our anti-hero with his brother, Dan, who is a war hero for the US. Then, mail is delivered, and in it is a letter from the US army stating that Dan has died. The actor looks into the screen, and we see him snap visually.

Then flash forward ten years. Shipwreck is seen joining the Joes for the first time. He meets with Duke, Scarlet and Roadblock then their first mission comes in. COBRA is attacking all over the world.

The plot will be like a James Bond movie, except lots more action. At some point, the ninjas Storm Shadow and Snake eyes join their respective sides, and Major Bludd tries to kill Destro. I may even throw in a new twist, have Shipwreck reveal himself to be a COBRA agent, but at the end, prove himself to be a GI JOE. The ending will be COBRA Commander facing off with Duke, and when it ends, you think both of them are dead. Duke is pulled out by his comrades and lives, while COBRA commander gets himself out of the wreckage, and rejoins COBRA.

Here's my cast.

GI Joe

I only casted the main four, and one bonus actor. I went for quality over quantity here.

Colin Ferguson as Duke. Ferguson is an all American looking actor, tall, blond, muscular, and he has the ability to play a well liked strong character.

Julianne Moore as Scarlet. Hardest one for me to choose, and I was trying to think of a strong woman actress. I went with Moore because of her portrayal as a strong women in Children of Men, where she led the rebels, yet was passionate enough to convey sexyiness beneath all that grime. Something Scarlet should always be able to do.

Dwayne Johnson as Road Block. Massive, fun loving, and adorable even while holding his own with a oversized gantlet gun. The Rock can do all this, and then even raise his eyebrow at the hordes of COBRA.

Tony Jaa as Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes is in your face. Snakes Eyes is all up in your ****. Snake Eyes is one bad mofo. For anyone who has seen Ong Bak, you know that Tony Jaa can kick ***. He can do that here, without wires, as well as do it without speaking one word.

James Rodey as Shipwreck. I wanted Shipwreck to be the newbie in this cast, so I went with a relatively unknown actor. James Rodey can play a prankster as seen in his USA show Pysch.

COBRA Forces

Gary Oldman as COBRA Commander. Gary Oldman can play crazies. And please, let's not forget that at his core, COBRA Commander is one crazy man. It takes that to be a car salesman, then become a world terrorist for the simply fact that the army was the cause of your brother's death.

Jason Statham as Destro. I wanted someone big, white, and looks like he give a beating. I imagine a huge fight between him, Major Bludd, Snakes eyes and Storm Shadow in the ruins of a building. Lots of flips, action, and punches being thrown, and four action flick awesomness. I just hope that Jason could keep the serious side of Destro down.

Sophie Marceau as Baroness. She's sexy, beautiful, and has stabbed numerous people in the back. Sophie has the french accent down as well, considering she is French, and she oozes the sexyness that the Baroness should ooze, without it being campy.

Russell Crowe as Major Bludd. He's a badass talking Aussie whose out to shoot people in the back. I'm talking about both Bludd and Crowe here.

Stephen Chow as Storm Shadow. Let's face it, Storm Shadow is a talker, to Snakes Eyes no words. Storm Shadow will be portrayed by Chow, whose brand of funnyness will contrast Tony Jaa's brand of seriousness, further emulating the fact that these two are two sides of the same coin.

Jeffrey Donovan as Zartan. In his show Burn Notice, Jeffrey is forced to act in several different roles, and disguise himself as several different people, and he does it flawlessly, switching between them with ease. His normal look is normal enough that people won't remember him, something a master of disguise would need.

This is still the best Dreamcasting I'd ever done.

 

[ourchair]

This is still the best Dreamcasting I'd ever done.

It IS rather awesome.