I figured there is no point trying to 'recreate' the original film by duplicating the EXACT performances of the Men In Gray, so I figured why not just try to reconceptualize the film?
There's no way Martin Lawrence could recreate Zeddemore, and no one else can capture the EXACT smarm that Murray brought to Venkman, so why not just build the actors around the characters and the characters around the actors?
It's been 23 years since the original, and we live in different times. Enter the
ULTIMATE GHOSTBUSTERS FTW!!!!1111ONEONE
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gbeckhart.jpg[/IMGL]Peter Venkman is a doctor of nothing but cunning and lies, who faked his credentials to teach psychology at Columbia University for two years. Although possessed of a natural charm and an ability to turn problematic situations to his advantage by arguing convincingly, his knowledge of psychology is entirely self-taught from books, magazines and the Internet. Venkman is essentially the autodidact con man with stellar debate skills of the group.
Venkman is portrayed by Aaron Eckhart, who mastered the art of making snarky shenanigans look well-informed in Thank You For Smoking, and has developed some romantic comedy experience opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones in No Reservations.
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gbgiamatti.jpg[/IMGL]Venkman's childhood pal happens to be
Dr. Raymond Stantz, a REAL professor of psychology who also teaches at Columbia. Raymond possesses a child-like enthusiasm over paranormal encounters and their effect on human behavior. Stantz is essentially what
Henry Jenkins would be if he turned his attention away from fan culture to psychic culture. Ray keeps Peter's cover because his charm helps direct normally unwilling students to take part in Ray's eccentric behavioral studies research projects.
Stantz is portrayed by
Paul Giamatti, who has fine tuned an overly energetic bad guy in
Shoot 'Em Up, a wonderstruck man-child in movies like
Lady In The Water and a enthusiastic vinophile in
Sideways.
Of course, no charade can last forever. The dean of Columbia discovers Peter's phony credentials and ends his teaching career. Stantz loses his job too. Peter tries to spin this public humiliation into a story about the close-mindedness of the academe and coerces Stantz into building the two of them up as free thinkers who had been frowned upon for their 'fruitless explorations of parapsychology'. This gets the two of them on the media circuit for a week or so before CNN finds a new headline about South Korea and they run out of talk shows to do, and pretty soon it becomes clear that Stantz and Venkman need to find some way to make a living again.
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gbgruffudd.jpg[/IMGL]For this, they turn to eccentric engineering wunderkind Egon Spengler, a former student of theirs who has clearly read too many comic books and watched too many ghost movies. Like Stantz, Spengler is a bit of a nut case who believes in the 'supernatural'. But he is also a hyper-logical empiricist who objects to the word 'supernatural' and prefers the word 'extranormal' to describe ghosts. He is convinced that ghosts or 'ectoplasmic projections' are still subject to some kind of physical laws, just not in the usual way. He is determined to show that science can help contain 'paranormal' disturbances affecting the innocent humans of our planet.
Spengler is portrayed by Ioan Gruffudd, no stranger to fantastical genre fare like Fantastic Four and the upcoming The Secret of Moonacre.
Spengler is tinkering with several engineering ideas for containment and capture and believes in trying to sell the idea to the government as a new arm of public service next to police and firemen. Venkman tells Spengler it's ludicrous that the government would want to spend more tax dollars on protecting the public and instead proposes they develop this as a private enterprise called
The Ghostbusters, a name that Venkman has deliberately nicked from an old 60s children's show. They rent out an abandoned fire station and decide to start with a minimal staff, which includes:
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gbmazar.jpg[/IMGL]Janine Melnitz, a woman from New Jersey whose decision to work for these scientist-adventurers is largely based on the fact that the fire station is located directly across from her favorite nail salon. She is a skeptical disbeliever in the supernatural and is absolutely convinced that this operation is an elaborate scam. Since she pretty much doesn't actually spend a single moment of her job watching the Ghostbusters at work, this disbelief is never challenged but nonetheless, Melnitz is highly efficient at her job of fielding calls and balancing the books.
Melnitz is portrayed by Debi Mazar, who plays trashy potty-mouths in movies like Space Truckers or any character who gets away with wearing thick makeup and acrylic nails to work while sporting unperturbable hairstyles. Some of you might remember her from Tuxedo where she had the power to put on her makeup in a taxi cab doing 90mph. She has also been a pretend lawyer in Ugly Betty and a tough-talking talent agent in HBO's Entourage.
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gbking.jpg[/IMGL]Winston Zeddemore - A former Marine and all-purpose bad *** who gets hired as the Ghostbuster's 'chief of security'. He was dishonorably discharged for disobeying orders because he claimed to see ghosts in the killing fields. He is almost comically fearful of anything to do with the supernatural, but is also humorously uptight about maintaining his tough man persona. He doesn't realize that he's applying to work under a bunch of paranormal investigators, simply because the want ad says 'scientists'.
Zeddemore is portrayed by Erik King, best known for the comically tight-assed Sergeant James Doakes in Showtime's Dexter and perfectly capable of turning the toughie into lovably comical personality without resorting to Samuel Jackson type theatrics.
Just like in the original movies, the Ghostbusters may be appreciated by those who have personally encountered spectral disturbances, but politicians, scientists and the media regard them as hucksters and profiteers. Spengler responds to the negative publicity by saying they're only providing public safety for a minimal fee. Venkman says that congressman should consider making money spent on Ghostbuster fees tax deductible.
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gblong.jpg[/IMGL]One individual who maintains an outspokenly positive commentary on them is Louis Tully, a video game beta tester who also maintains an Internet community message board and blog about the Ghostbusters. He really wants to be one of the Ghostbusters, showing up repeatedly outside the building. Spengler and Stantz are only mildly encouraging to the extent that it doesn't interfere with their research, while Venkman tends to tease him with almost promises of joining, all while insisting that Tully leave it to the professionals.
Tully would be played by Justin Long, most famously recognized as the Mac from Apple's "Get A Mac" campaign, although he has screen credits as a duplicitous academic outcast in Accepted and did a hilarious send-up of Star Trek fans as a technically-minded nerd fan in Galaxy Quest.
The general plot of the movie would be pretty much a thematic recreation of the kinds of plots that made the original two films. In
Ghostbusters, an insane architect designed one hundred story building that was essentially meant to open the door for an evil Sumerian god. In
Ghostbusters II, the pure evil of a ages-dead megalomaniacal psychopath was stored inside a painting came to life because of hate-powered ectoplasm fueled by the sheer antipathy of New York's inhabitants.
So what would this reinvented team of Ghostbusters be fighting?
Why, the very evils of the Internet.
Seriously.
In some kind of pseudoscientific fashion that only Spengler & Stantz could somehow fathom, the Internet has now made it possible for all the world's hate to be exchanged instantaneously through bulletin boards, IMs and MMORPGs.
It is now building up 'hateful' electromagnetic signals affecting residual ectoplasm located near all the exchange points that form the very backbone of the Internet. The Internet needs to be shut down before it's too late to solve the problem in a clean fashion.
[IMGL]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q32/experimentego/07-gbmohr.jpg[/IMGL]Of course, the one person who objects to this is Walter Peck, CEO of Blue Storm Entertainment, which happens to run the largest MMORPG in the history of ever called Perpetual Galaxy, and it has proudly gone on for five years without ever suffering from server failure, and has a GDP seven times the size of China and an exchange rate of seven dollars to the Perpetua credit.
Peck is portrayed by comedian Jay Mohr, who specializes in insincere jerks like that of Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire and has played a morally vacuous Hollywood producer in TV's Action. He can currently be seen in CBS's The Ghost Whisperer as Professor Rick Payne.
So when the Internet goes down, Perpetual Galaxy stays up due to Peck's insistence, via a back-up Internet. As a result, a large world-devouring Cthulhu-like entity is now coming to Earth... and feast upon a planet full of hate.
And now only three misfit 'scientists' and their so-called chief of security can save the world...