Warren Ellis Is In This Thread, Rubbing Himself On Your Face

Re: Warren Ellis

I was going to start a "The Warren Ellis Thread" but hunted down this guy instead... (that rhymed, oddly)

Basically I wanted to impart this from Warren's Myspace Blog

The Internet Jesus said:
Things I May Have Said To My Daughter


"You keep that up and I'm going to confiscate your arms and legs."

"Shut up or you and all your little friends are going to prison."

"I can have Santa Claus killed by old gangsters in Shoebury for less than your goddamn Barbies cost, so don't **** with me."

"When we were in Lapland, I ate Rudolph."

"I don't care what words Uncle Alan taught you in the LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN book he gave you -- call me an afterbirth again and I'm putting you in the washing machine."

"I know where your Death Nerve is. So behave yourself."

"No, you can't have a puppy."

"Oxygen is a privilege, not a right."

"I see a puppy in this house and I'm microwaving the ****er."

"I can slap the life clean out of your little body."

"Go and tell your mother that you want to be a 'retroactive abortion'. Here, let me write it down for you."

"Ask your mother what '****er' means. Tell her I called her one too."

"Eat your dinner or I'm going to liquidise it and inject it into your neck while you're asleep."

"No, you can't have a kitten. You know the fluffy gloves you wear in winter? They used to be kittens. We're not allowed to have them now."

"Put your toys away or I'm going to wee in your bed."

"I can hide your body where no-one will find it. Do your ****ing homework."

"You know, your mother says there was a mix-up at the hospital and she brought the wrong child home. I just think my sperm rotted in her booze-poisoned womb."

"I can sell you to chimney sweeps. They put you on the end of a stick and shove you up fireplaces. Well, do your ****ing homework
then."

"No, you can't have a tiger. You want to know why? Go ask Siegfried and ****ing Roy."

(C) Warren Ellis 2004, 2007
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Also, who's reading Blackgas or the fantasy series he's doing?
 
Re: Warren Ellis

Those are brilliant. I can't wait to use them, starting tomorrow.
 
Re: Warren Ellis

Those are awesome. It would be great having Warren Ellis for an uncle or something.
 
Re: Warren Ellis

ProjectX2 said:
Those are awesome. It would be great having Warren Ellis for an uncle or something.
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On a somewhat related note, I'll be an uncle in three weeks.

My sister in law has already decided to withhold any babysitting rights from me.

This might have something to do with the fact that I taught my five year old cousin that you can identify transexuals from the way they pick their nose.
 
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Re: Warren Ellis

ourchair said:
On a somewhat related note, I'll be an uncle in three weeks.

My sister in law has already decided to withhold any babysitting rights from me.

This might have something to do with the fact that I taught my five year old cousin that you can identify transexuals from the way they pick their nose.
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Congrats and LOL
 
Re: Warren Ellis

I cannot get enough Warren Ellis quotes. They're like those Vin Diesel/Chuck Norris facts.......except for the fact that Warren Ellis stuff never gets old.


The LXG quote FTW!
 
Re: Warren Ellis

Surprised noone's brought up transmetropolitan yet...along with Authority and planetary they're the big ones he's done..and trans has some great quotes.


"YOU like to put your feet up and watch Republican party reservation.
THEY like to have sex with normal people using knives, guns and brand new sexual-organs that you did not know existed"

"Spider Jerusalem: more famous than Jesus, better dressed than Santa Claus, wouldn't be seen dead on a cross and has never been caught up a chimney."

"Have gone to commit suicide. Intend to return from grave Friday. Feed cat." memo

"Filthy Assisstants...."


gah...there are better ones than that..I'll have to go re-read them
 
Re: Warren Ellis

How can you not pledge loyalty to man who fires random stuff like this off on his MySpace Bulletin:

Your Friendly Neighborhood Internet Jesus said:
If you all made some kind of tribute or sacrifice to me tonight, I could wake up with Powers tomorrow. I could be like unto a god.

...that'd be a good thing, right? Not frightening at all. No. Go to it. Godhead awaits.
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Re: Warren Ellis

474550162_d556d08514_o.jpg
 
Re: Warren Ellis

I JUST CAME HERE TO POST THAT EXACT PICTURE!

I love you too, Warren Ellis.
 
Re: Warren Ellis

this is what will take Warren Ellis into God Hood

Black Summer

you thought Civil War was great, wait til you read this, it Civil war expect its the U.S. Government vs. Superheros...

This summer, the world goes black as Warren Ellis unveils his all-new super-powered heroes and villains epic that promises to be the biggest event of 2007! With art by the genius Juan Jose Ryp, no fan of The Authority or Wanted will want to miss this bleeding-edge eight issue masterpiece. The #0 features an original story that leads directly into the full-size monthly series that starts in August priced at just $2.99 per issue! When the political situation in the USA becomes more than Horus can stand, he moves to take matters into his own hands. But since not all his other team-mates aren't so eager to throw the world into chaos, an epic conflict starts to form. And no one will be safe as the bodies start to fall.
Click to expand...
 
Re: Warren Ellis

nigma said:
this is what will take Warren Ellis into God Hood

Black Summer

you thought Civil War was great, wait til you read this, it Civil war expect its the U.S. Government vs. Superheros...
Click to expand...

BOH!


This is why Ellis can have however much of my money he wants. That and the whole selling my soul to him part.
 
Re: Warren Ellis

Okay, I've looked in several places and haven't found it..

How the hell do I sign up for Bad Signal?!
 
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