Ultimate Howard the Duck and other lameness

Ultimates Gerbil ! From joecartoon.com .... could be awesome !
 
I think we should have Ultimate Archie and the Ulimate Riverdale Kids.

They appeared with Punisher, and therefore 616 canon and thus, eligible for nomination within this thread.

Notice how I get "legaleese" on your collective asses.
 
Bass said:
I think we should have Ultimate Archie and the Ulimate Riverdale Kids.

They appeared with Punisher, and therefore 616 canon and thus, eligible for nomination within this thread.

Notice how I get "legaleese" on your collective asses.
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Ahh.... Archie Meets the Punisher. Sadly, Archie is published by Archie comics, wich isn't affiliated with Marvel. Though The Punisher did try and storm the sleepy town. Go Garth Ennis.
 
Ultimate Archie meets Ultimate Punisher:

"The Riverdale Gang" are a dangeroous street gang. While making a visit to his favorite crack house, "R-Chee" and the gang (Jugass, Betti, Veronilishala) are attacked by a crazed vigilante who calls himself the Punisher. After a bloody gunfight the Riverdale Gang escapes with their lives intact. Upon their return to school, they meet an odd looking new student named Frankie Castle. After much suspicion, the Gang finds out that Frankie is really the Punisher and a narc trying to infiltrate the school. They shoot him to death with an AK-47. They then chop off his head and make it into a bong (now that's realistic).
 
moonmaster said:
Ultimate Archie meets Ultimate Punisher:

"The Riverdale Gang" are a dangeroous street gang. While making a visit to his favorite crack house, "R-Chee" and the gang (Jugass, Betti, Veronilishala) are attacked by a crazed vigilante who calls himself the Punisher. After a bloody gunfight the Riverdale Gang escapes with their lives intact. Upon their return to school, they meet an odd looking new student named Frankie Castle. After much suspicion, the Gang finds out that Frankie is really the Punisher and a narc trying to infiltrate the school. They shoot him to death with an AK-47. They then chop off his head and make it into a bong (now that's realistic).
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...that is hands down the coolest thing I have ever read. I must kill you and drink your soul so that I might gain your power!
 
Baxter said:
...that is hands down the coolest thing I have ever read. I must kill you and drink your soul so that I might gain your power!
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YOU MAY NEVER GAIN MY POWER! I AM ALMIGHTY! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH......................HA!
 
moonmaster said:
Ultimate Archie meets Ultimate Punisher:

"The Riverdale Gang" are a dangeroous street gang. While making a visit to his favorite crack house, "R-Chee" and the gang (Jugass, Betti, Veronilishala) are attacked by a crazed vigilante who calls himself the Punisher. After a bloody gunfight the Riverdale Gang escapes with their lives intact. Upon their return to school, they meet an odd looking new student named Frankie Castle. After much suspicion, the Gang finds out that Frankie is really the Punisher and a narc trying to infiltrate the school. They shoot him to death with an AK-47. They then chop off his head and make it into a bong (now that's realistic).
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I'd buy it. :rockon:
 
UltimateE said:
I'd buy it. :rockon:
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I second the motion. Does anybody realize that Archie meets the Punisher was actually a legitimately published comic back in the day?
 
We need a ultimate Justin Timberlake. I mean we already have a ultimate Britney Spears. I see it now. Iceman and Kitty go to a concret by him and it gets attacked by Metallica fans (Who are mutants). They end up saving him. Iceman and JT together. This was just for you Ice. Much love.
 
Guijllons said:
I'm all for it, an Ultimate D-Man/Ultimate Hyperion Team-up... at Duckworld.


oooh, purple man
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The only thing is silly about purple man is his name, if you read Alia you would see that he is a very dangerous character.
 
The Overlord said:
The only thing is silly about purple man is his name, if you read Alia you would see that he is a very dangerous character.
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That's only because Bendis sucessfully 'Ultimized' (i.e. convicincingly reinvented) the Purple Man, within the context of 616-continutity. Other than his power -- and how it was used in Alias and New Avengers -- there is nothing particularly threatening about him, and he'd be a silly, purple-skinned goofball otherwise.

An Ultimate Purple Man would be thoroughly redundadnt, anyway, because of how effectively he's being used as a Johnny-come-lately villain in the mainstream continuity.
 
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I'm re-posting this here, for the benefit of those who didn't get to see the Character Reinvention thread in the 'Games' section:

Ultimate Howard The Duck: "A World He Never Created" Part 1-6

Full disclosure -- I'm borrowing a few key concepts from Grant Morrison's We3 to make this work.

The privately-funded Axis Corporation is a bioengineering firm based in Cleveland, hoping to breed a subspecies of mallard ducks with indestructible down feathers, in the hope of manufacturing a cost-effective, organic padding for bulletproof clothing (commercially available for army and law enforcement contracts, security-conscious private citizens, etc.). Expectedly, this leads to a multitude of dead fowl test-subjects.

An unexpected breakthrough is reached, when one subject duck -- treated in Axis' H-Ward facitlity, as designated on its tag -- grows unbreakable plumage that's shock-resistant and near unbreakable. But the hormomone that reinforces his fethers also stimulates its brain activity, giving it heigtened fight-and-flight responses (but, unlike his 616 counterpart, no capacity for speech or human communication).

Beverly Switzler is a 20-something slacker, haplessly working as a research intern at Axis. Her latent bioengineering genius is held back by internal politics within Axis, and her own willingness to acquiesce to 'the way things are'. But when she becomes privy to the battery of physical endurance tests which the duck is subjected to, her conscience urges her to stir things up...

You can more or less tell where things go, from there...

Beverly steals Howard, discovers that his self-defense abilities are potentially lethal, as they attempt to break him out of the Axis facility.

The 6-issue mini-series documents the pair's flight to safety, trailed by a corrupt police officer Lester Verde, a pair of SHIELD operatives (who are rightfully embarassed that finding a run-away duck should constitute a "national security issue"), and the bounty hunter known only as Taskmaster, hired by Axis to retrieve Howard. (His plan is to double-cross Axis and hold the duck for ransom, should he be able to capture it.)

Aiding Beverly and Howard in their escape are Linda Lutz (Beverly's punk-rock mutant room-mate, with limited telepathic abilities), and Paul Same (a Seth Cohen-esque wimpster intellectual, who is only reluctanly arm-twisted into helping them because of his unexpressed crush on Linda).

Linda attempts to put the fugitives in touch with some acquaintances from Nature Uber Alles, a group of militant environmentalists (a parody of Earth First!-type ecoterrorists), but they prove to be a useless bunch of self-centered, disaffected kids.

Eventually, Hawk-Owl and Woody (from Ultimate Adventures) learn about the situation. They arrive in Ohio, just in time to narrowly rescue Howard and Beverly from the Taskmaster. Hawk-Owl convinces Beverly to let him take custody over Howard. She reluctanly agrees, and he takes Howard back to The Nest.

In his civilian identity as billionaire Jack Danner, he buys out the disgraced Axis Corp, thereby becoming Howard's legal owner.
 
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Damn, boy, that could actually work.

I'd like to see them utilize Hawk-Owl in a not sucky way.
 
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