Ultimate Central: The Fanfic - volume 5

...

Where was the comeuppance?

Man... now I just want my arc to be "Everyone Beats On The Good Doc" arc.

Nice arc, Doc. :)
 
Nice Solit and Cover

BUT DAMMIT ITS #39!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT 38


5$#%$#^^%%$^%$#^$%$#%$#%$

Doc Strangefate wrote his as #'s 32-37 but they were supposed to be #33-38. So therefore this should be #39 :evil:
 
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Nurhachi said:
Nice Solit and Cover

BUT DAMMIT ITS #39!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT 38


5$#%$#^^%%$^%$#^$%$#%$#%$

Doc Strangefate wrote his as #'s 32-37 but they were supposed to be #33-38. So therefore this should be #39 :evil:
Click to expand...
Doctor Strangefate made the cover.... *Points at Doctor Strangefate and steps away slowly*

I did put "38ish" so actually it is somewhere around 38... I am clever.
 
Nurhachi: Hey guys. Nurhachi here creator of UltimateCentral Fanfics

Ultimate Gambit:Annnnd I'm Ultimate Gambit.

Nur: We're here with the recap page Cable/Deadpool style.

UltimateGambit: Why are we doing the recap page?

Nur: Because MWoF is writing about himself mostly and "couldn't fit anyone else in anywhere"

*Off Panel* ProjectX2: Can I be in the recap page

Nur: No, Project... beat it.

UltimateGambit: Well, at least I get yellow speech bubbles like Deadpool, right?

Nur: Uh, this is a fanfic not a comic. No one can see the speech bubbles.

UltimateGambit: Damnit MWoF. Who does he think he is. And now he's our leader?

Nur: Don't worry all part of my masterplan to turn MWoF into the Wolverinesque character so soon only little fanboys will like him. You didn't really think I'd actually turn him into one of the coolest characters in the fanfic did you?

*Off Panel MWoF in a directors chair and cap*: Yo! I didn't give this to you guys to talk about me! I do enough of that. Get on with it.

Nur: Right, so good recap page

UltimateGambit: We didn't talk about anything.

Nur: They know what's goin' on anyway.
*Ultimate Gambit just looks at Nur*

Nur:What? They read it don't they.... And Action.

*Camera Pans over to ProjectX2 with a big goofy smile on his face holding flashcards with numbers on them. He begins to flip through*

5....
4....
3....
2....

*20th Century Fox Start up music*

NURHACHI PRESENTS:
ULTIMATE CENTRAL THE FANFIC
VOLUME 5. CHAPTER 39
Superheroes and Alcohol
BY TheManWithoutFear​
The Cyberspace Home to the Avatars, UltimateCentral​

The Portal blasted open as The Avatars strolled through after another routine *** kicking. ProjectX was carrying an unconscience body over his shoulder. All of them seemed exhausted with the exception of their leader MWoF and DIrishB. Ultimate Gambit, who was resting feeling tired for reason unknown to him.

MWoF: *Singing* There she was a just walkin' down the street... cmon soldiers belt it out. I know you know this one.

Icemastertron: *Whispering to DIrishB* Why did we make him leader again?

MWoF: Easy Ice, Super hearing. Remember?

Ultimate Gambit: How'd it go?

MWoF: Perfect as always.

Icemastertron: Perfect? You killed a guy! I think it was John Q. Public.

Ultimate Gambit: What happened? What were his powers?

Nurhachi: We don't know. MWoF killed him before we found out anything about him. I mean the guy didn't even make a move or threaten us.

MWoF: He was making this gritting sound with his teeth. It was driving my senses crazy Ice. You wouldn't understand.

Ultimate Gambit: Whose that guy Project's holding?

Icemastertron: We think it's Guij. Project knocked him out. *Looking at Project sternly*

ProjectX2: What!? he was doing this weird inside out-fading in and out of existence thing and was coming at us, there was screaming, and MWoF was killing people!? I was so confused

Icemastertron: I think he was trying to help.

MWoF: Yeah, that escalated quickly. We'll find out what his deal is when he wakes up. Just throw him in the holding cell, Project. All right, gentlemen. We need a break whose up for a night out?

*The Avatars let out a moan. We've been drinking for a month straight! Don't you ever let up, MWoF?*

DirishB: Let's get to it!

MWoF: Just one? Nur? Ice?

Nurhachi: Eh, kinda beat... I'll take a rain check.

Icemastertron was gazeing deeply into his autographed picture of Justin Timberlake. "To Louis. You are the 'coolest'. Love, Mr. Article". He let out a sigh.

DIrishB: Wow...Ok... let's go...

MWoF: *Shrugs* More brewskies for us then.


Irish Bar in Philadelphia​


MWoF and DirishB were trading off their favorite shots and having the best time two guys out on a night on the town could have. The two took up a game of beer pong and began dominating the competition. Until they faced off against Hawkeye101 and UltimateScarletWitch. MWoF and DIrishB both started eyeing up USW and made a friendly wager on who was gonna get her. Hawkeye101 sank his winning shot but DIrishB manipulating the hops in the drink tossed Hawkeye's ball right out, leaving MWoF open to sink the winning shot. The 4 got together at the bar to have some more drinks.

Hawkeye101:*Out of breath* Glad I caught up with you guys. I've been looking for you since we kicked The Cabinets ***.

MWoF:"We[/I] kicked their ***?"

DirishB: Uh yeah... so Pretty impressive shooting there Hawkeye.

MWoF: Yeah, it was what are you doing here anyway.

Hawkeye: Just thought I'd show you guys my powers.

DirishB: Wait, You don't have powers. What are you talking about?

Hawkeye101: Yeah, I kinda got them through surgical enhancements... I have supervision and superior accuracy.

MWoF: *Slaps himself on his forehead shaking his head in disapprovement. Then turning his attention to USW.* So you come here often?
UltimateScarletWitch just laughs in MWoF's face. DIrishB then whispered something into her ear and the two walk off together.

MWoF: Bartender two shots for me and my friend. I don't get it. I'm the leader, I'm wearing a red costume, I'm dead sexy. I destroyed JTG. I'm like a legend. I'm feeling more low than when LSJL had his sex change. I get no lovin'. Except from the creeper who keeps staring at me from across the bar.
The two then look over a man covered by shadow staring at them.

MWoF: *In a drunken rant* What the **** you lookin' at creepshow. *talkin to hawkeye* I'm five seconds away from knockin' him out.

A voice behind them interrupts.

Ultimate-X mods: Now that wouldn't be very nice. What did I tell you about your disrespect and treatment of others.

MWoF: What the **** are you guys doing here?!

Ultimate-X mods: We've been watching you guys and your reckless useage of powers. We're hear to take you in.

MWoF: Now you're the superhero police? Ha! See ya when I see ya boys.
One of the moderators takes MWoF drink away and when he reaches back for it he finds that it is no longer a drink but an Avatar of a drink. MWoF is not happy.

Hawkeye101: Wait, how do you guys have powers?

Ultimate-X.COM Administrator: I'm UltimateE's cooler and stronger cousin. I granted my site powers too when I found out his evil intentions but our powers are for the good of mankind not all night partying.

MWoF: ****in' right doggie. Let's take this outside. *Yelling over the crowd* DirishB LET'S GO!



42 seconds later.​

MWoF, Hawkeye101, and DIrishB sat on the curb drinking beers. The bodies of the Ultimate-X Crew lay beaten down infront of them.

MWoF: I needed that.

DIrishB: We didn't even need to use our powers. They were like The Ultimate Defenders did they even do anything?

Hawkeye101: Let's get some more shots to celebrate on me.

The three got up to go inside but their path was blocked by the same creepy guy inside he was covered in a long coat with a hood.

DirishB: Who the **** are you?

Shi_Vral: I'm Shi_Vral and I'm here for MWoF. I have taken his harassment of the creator long enough!

MWoF: Look I know I'm blind but did I walk out tonight with the costume with the bullseye on my back. *Rolls up his sleeves and gets in a fighting stance* Let's go tough guy.

Shi_Vral: *Tosses off his robe to reveal his body a brain blue in color with legs and arms (tentacles)* HAHAHAHAHA!!

Hawkeye101: Oh that's so gross...

MWoF: A human brain!? AAAARGGGGHHHH WORST-POWER-EVER!!!!
MWoF then blasted Shi_Vral further out in the street. Shi_Vral got up and began to grow.

DIrishB: He's getting bigger!? What the **** is that thing between his legs? He looks like a Tripod...

Hawkeye101: I think it's the Medulla Oblongata!

DIrishB:Dude looks like a tripod.

MWoF: **** this! I'm taking this joker out.
MWoF then charged the giant walking talking blue brain. But the brain instantly grabbed MWoF in it's electric tentacles and swung him back and forth crashing him into nearby buildings.

MWoF: What the... DIrishB do something!

DIrishB:*Looking at a single lifeless tree growing on the sidewalk and laughing at MWoF getting tossed around* I got nothing... You wanted to go drink in the middle of the city MWoF. My powers are plant based. I don't think the flowers on the windowsills are gonna help you much.

MWoF: *Getting tossed like a rag doll* Hawkeye get his Cerebellum he'll drop me then!

Hawkeye101: Right.

Hawkeye slowly brought his bow up and in slow motion reached for an arrow and then started to aim.

DIrishB: What the **** are you moving so slow for?!

Hawkeye101: This is just how the heroes in the movies do. You know slow motion scene...

DIrishB: just shoot the ****in' thing.

Hawkeye with lightning quick speed and accuracy shot an the arrow, slicing off the Medulla Oblangata and striking the Cerebellum.
Shi_Vral let out a "YEEEEEP" and dropped MWoF shrinking back down to normal blue colored walking talking brain size and falling unconscience.
Minutes later after IceMastertron and Nur came to take the captive back to the base cells and were briefed on what happened.

MWoF, DIrishB, and Hawkeye101 sat on the curb again.

MWoF: What a ****in' night! How did he get powers?! How are all these people getting powers?

DIrishB: Who cares? Let's blaze.

Hawkeye101: I'm in.

MWoF: I pass on grass.

DIrishB: Dude, we're superheros. No ones gonna arrest you. You owe it to yourself. Just once.

MWoF: fine... Only cause the night was a bust.
The three sat and smoked up until they lost touch with all reality.

The Dreamtime​


MWoF: Well this is fun....
Suddenly Ultimate Iron Man shows up

MWoF: Woah... What are you doing here?

Ultimate Iron-Man: I'm here to help. The man that you fought tonight. I know where he comes from?

DIrishB: hehehe... say what?

Ultimate Iron-Man: He is a product of a man's irresponsible imagination running wild.

MWoF: *As if having a revealation* I know! I know where to find him.

Ultimate Iron-Man: Then you must stop him before he does this world anymore harm.

Hawkeye101: *Out of nowhere* Hey Iron Man. Did you get bit by a radioactive copy machine because I have this theory...
Ultimate Iron Man, MWoF, and DirishB just look at Hawkeye and shake their heads.

Real Time​

The three snapped out of their high state of mind.

MWoF: I gotta go.

DIrishB: That's fine I'm going to make out with Hawkeye's cousin again. Cmon' Hawkeye you can watch.

Hawkeye101: *Shrugs* Got no where else to go.

MWoF: How's that working out for you?

DIrishB:You should see what she can do...

MWoF:She's got powers? What are they?

DIrishB whispers something in MWoF ears

MWoF:No way!?... Wow... heh, how about that.... Well Hawkeye, you can always crash with The Avatars if you want. I'm out. I'll see you guys later.

Neverland Ranch​
The night was stormy. Orson Scott Card lay in bed sleeping like a baby and with a young child. He stirs and wakes to find the shadow of a devil across his bed.

MWoF: So this is your fatuation with young boys...
Orson Scott Card looked in horror as MWoF moved in on his prey.

"Just Normal Typical Space Debris": Headquarters of Bass-Lak-Tus​

The Gateway opened and MWoF and Project stepped out into Bass' lair. Project was holding an unconscience Orson Scott Card. UltimateE lay at Bass' feet in Leia Organa swimwear circa RotJ. Bass sat atop his throne munching on tangy cheese doritos.

Bass: *Spitting the Doritos out and talking with a mouthful the entire time* How did you find my new lair? Impossible!!

ProjectX2: Um it's a big white spaceship in the middle of pitch black space? I mean it's DeathStar big and we're talking whiter than Michael Jackson's ***. It's got it's own moons and gravitational pull and our transporter kinda takes us wherever we want...

Bass: Ridiculous!! I refuse to believe that you are clever enough to find my spaceship, Just Normal Typical Space Debris".

ProjectX2:What are you on crack? The thing is more noticeable than the moon on a cloudless night. It's right there like everyone can see it.

Bass:Really? I thought I did a good job with the... oh, nevermind I'm colorblind you see.

ProjectX2:It's black and white...

Bass:God Dammnit, I AM BASS-LAK-TUS! I don't need to prove myself to you! I shall destroy you now!

MWoF: *Pulling out the Killifier* Ah, play nice Bass-hole. We have a gift for E, here.

Bass: What? A gift for my puppet and you bear nothing for me? What is it?

ProjectX2 threw down OSC at Bass feet.

Bass: *Getting excited looks at the avatars* Did you bring me Bendis?!

MWoF: No.

Bass: Then he can't have him take him away.

UltimateE: But we can dress him up like Bendis...

Bass: *Slapping UltimateE and spitting Doritos on him* Silence!!! Wait... I have an idea. Yes... We could shave his head and make him look like Bendis... Oh Goody Golly Gee! What fun we shall have.

MWoF: Great. We're out.

MWoF and Project walked back to the portal.

Bass: *Yelling and spitting Doritos to them as they walked away* But this doesn't make us friends or anything!! I will kill you!! Oh yes... I will... kill... them... make them dead... you know what I mean right?

The two Avatars just smiled as they returned to their home.

The End

Looney Tunes music starts to play and the recognizeable logo comes up empty... the music stops

*Offpanel* MWoF: Cmon' Ice do it!

Icemastertron: I don't want too!

MWoF: Goddamnit Ice! It'll be funny!

Icemastertron: Fiiine! Makin' me look like a jackass... I'm gonna freeze his balls off...

Icemastertron: *pops up in the logo* Th-th-th-tha-that's all folks.... son of a *****...
 
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