The Jokes thread.

All fans of jokes should read The Killing Joke by Anthony Horowitz.
 
In honor of 700 posts!!!!!!

Two cupcakes were in an oven. One turns to the other and says,
"Man, it's getting hot in here, don't you think?"
The other says,
"AAAAAH! A talking cupcake!!!"

One cow in a field turns to another;
"Hey, have you heard about this mad cow disease?"
"Yeah, I have."
"Pretty scary, right?"
"REALLY scary, but I'm not worried."
"Why not?"
"I'm a helicopter."
 
Dancanread said:
In honor of 700 posts!!!!!!

Two cupcakes were in an oven. One turns to the other and says,
"Man, it's getting hot in here, don't you think?"
The other says,
"AAAAAH! A talking cupcake!!!"

One cow in a field turns to another;
"Hey, have you heard about this mad cow disease?"
"Yeah, I have."
"Pretty scary, right?"
"REALLY scary, but I'm not worried."
"Why not?"
"I'm a helicopter."
Click to expand...
Heehee. :lol:
 
What was the last thing going through the head of a guy working on the 90th floor at the World Trade Center?

...

The 91st floor.
 
Here's some :





Why do men get circumcised?

Because women will GRAB anything with 10% off!!

-------------------------------------------------------

I recently purchased a teddy bear for a tenner.

I named it Mohammed, then sold it for 20 quid.

My query is...

Have i made a PROPHET.

------------------------------------------------------

While I agree with the 15 days in Jail for the Teddy Bear teacher in Sudan, I thought deportation to Liverpool was a bit harsh!!!

----------------------------------------------------------

what goes mark mark?

a dog with a hare lip
---------------------------------------------------------

What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of a c***? Jack Thompson's Tie

---------------------------------------------------------
 
Last edited by a moderator:
A guy stops to visit his friend, who is paralysed from the waist down. His friend says, "My feet are cold. Would you get my shoes for me?"

The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend's two gorgeous daughters. He says, "Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to have sex with you."

The first daughter says, "That's not true."

He says, "I'll prove it."

He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?"

His friend yells back, "Of course, both of them."

___________________________________

How Moses allegedly got the 10 commandments (Not meant to offend it's just funny)

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shall not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."

"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."

"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"

"They're free."

"We'll take 10."
 
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