The Greatest Movie That Never Was

My Uncle got me a bootleg copy of the fantastic four movie when I was little. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
 
Okay, so I'm downloading a torrent of the Roger Corman FF flick, but something fishy's going on. It's only 236 MBs! I don't have any videos over half an hour that are less than 300.

This better not be a pr0no...

(You wouldn't believe how often I've accidentally downloaded pr0n. I'm not joking.)
 
Gothamite said:
There is nothing I'd like more than to watch a bootleg of that movie.
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You idiot. You stupid, ****ing fanboy...

Well, it wasn't...it wasn't pr0n. It was the actual..."film".

...

Oohhh...

:sick:

Oh, Jesus, what a piece of ****...

Arrgh! It's coming to get me!!

Okay...after giving myself some 'recovery time', I've decided that this irradiated piece of cat faeces could well be the worst 'film' I've ever seen in my life. Yes, friends, worse than Batman & Robin. The latter seems like a Spielberg Masterpiece compared to the shockingly disgraceful 90 minutes I just subjected myself to. It's not only bad in the storytelling and filmmaking sense of the word, it's ****ing weird as well! I know this is an overused joke, but were they HIGH?

- Reed's a paedophile! He meets Sue at the start of the film when she's like 12 and he's like 30! And then he marries her!

- Doom's voice is so muffled you can't hear what he's saying! "Mmahahmm! RIBBARBBS!"

- Johnny is so high-strung he actually seems like he's high on cocaine for the whole film! He actually starts slapping himself at one point, as though he's getting the shakes or something.

- The Jeweller? The mother****ing Jeweller? What the **** is that ****?

- Alicia meets Ben once. Then she goes home and makes a sculpture of his face because of how much she loves him?! What in ****?!

Seriously, I know I exaggerate sometimes...but I can't believe how bad this film is. I really can't. It wasn't so-bad-it's-good like I was hoping, it was just so horribly bad I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Don't spend your money on this movie. Don't even download it. Stay well away from it.
 
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Joe Kalicki said:
What the heck is this from?
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I believe that was done as a test to try and get a silver surfer tv show made. So its like a piliot that the creators can show to studios to try and show what they can/want to do
Gothamite said:
You idiot. You stupid, ****ing fanboy...

Well, it wasn't...it wasn't pr0n. It was the actual..."film".

...

Oohhh...

:sick:

Oh, Jesus, what a piece of ****...

Arrgh! It's coming to get me!!

Okay...after giving myself some 'recovery time', I've decided that this irradiated piece of cat faeces could well be the worst 'film' I've ever seen in my life. Yes, friends, worse than Batman & Robin. The latter seems like a Spielberg Masterpiece compared to the shockingly disgraceful 90 minutes I just subjected myself to. It's not only bad in the storytelling and filmmaking sense of the word, it's ****ing weird as well! I know this is an overused joke, but were they HIGH?

- Reed's a paedophile! He meets Sue at the start of the film when she's like 12 and he's like 30! And then he marries her!

- Doom's voice is so muffled you can't hear what he's saying! "Mmahahmm! RIBBARBBS!"

- Johnny is so high-strung he actually seems like he's high on cocaine for the whole film! He actually starts slapping himself at one point, as though he's getting the shakes or something.

- The Jeweller? The mother****ing Jeweller? What the **** is that ****?

- Alicia meets Ben once. Then she goes home and makes a sculpture of his face because of how much she loves him?! What in ****?!

Seriously, I know I exaggerate sometimes...but I can't believe how bad this film is. I really can't. It wasn't so-bad-it's-good like I was hoping, it was just so horribly bad I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Don't spend your money on this movie. Don't even download it. Stay well away from it.
Click to expand...

Should keep in mind it was never made to be seen, but to secure filming rights, the studio wanted to keep the FF liciencing but didnt want to make one soon, but in order to keep it they had to actually make a movie

SSJmole said:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uwCNDcfQiGU
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Funny. "Ever ask yourself 'what would jesus do? You're about to find out"

"Where are you!"
"Look up to the heavans"
*gunshot*
 
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So Mole, I think it's time you told us about the films you made and entered into film festivals (and won once). :D
 
Random said:
I believe that was done as a test to try and get a silver surfer tv show made. So its like a piliot that the creators can show to studios to try and show what they can/want to do
Click to expand...

Thank you.


Should keep in mind it was never made to be seen, but to secure filming rights, the studio wanted to keep the FF liciencing but didnt want to make one soon, but in order to keep it they had to actually make a movie
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I saw a movie poster for it at the theater before it was scrapped, plus Wizard had pictures of it and interviews hyping it. I've heard this about the movie before but I'm not certain about it's accuracy.
 
Stanley Kubrick's Napoleon biopic, apparently starring Jack Nicholson (I don't remember reading that bit).
 
Or any idea that Stanley Kubrick ever had that was never realized in any artistic medium.
 
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