STD Productions presents...
McCheese's Weekly Messiah Complex Review
I have to rewrite a paper tonight so let's get to it. It's week 6 and we're back to Uncanny with Brubaker and Tan. The suicidal X-Men team that took on the Maraucolytes last issue are wounded and attempting to get back to the X-Mansion. Kurt still lives. For now. At the mansion the X-Men fight the sentinels. Emma is unconscious and the others aren't doing too well. On the other side of the mansion a large Indian seems to have escaped from the local reservation. Sitsinpoo is going to have to pick up his shifts at the casino. Sorry, had to get a few Indian jokes in there. He stabs a sentinel with a knife. Because the best way to take down a giant walking death machine is with a small knife. A space vampire who I have been informed is named Hepatitus growls at the robot. She appears to be naked. Back on the other side of the mansion Bishop and Cyclops are forced to fight the sentinel with optic blasts and guns. I don't like their chances without a pair of small knives. Nezhno from New Mutants plows out of the ruined house. He must be at full power here because the Hulk would only be about crotch high on him right now. He knocks over a sentinel. Inside the mansion Beast finds the Cuckoos are also mysteriously unconscious. Outside the fight rages on. The space vampire took the time to dress up like a really stupid looking pirate. So now she's a space vampire pirate who may or may not be sleeping with a renegade native. Man I hope she dies soon. Anyway the two of them team up to make one sentinel shoot another. Gee, never seen that before. Also wouldn't super advanced robots have it in their programming not to shoot each other in the face? Maybe wait a fraction of a second and take the shot when a miss won't destroy one of your own? No. I'm being silly. Back at the ruined Maraucolyte bunker Mystique and Sinister discuss the situation. Sinister is thrilled to have found out Cable is working on his own. Speaking of Cable he runs through some woods with the baby. Now we return to the X-Men as they continue to fight sentinels. Bobby rams the X-Jet into the back of one sentinels head. Now reason would tell you that a plane would explode if it rammed into a giant robot. Reason has no place in this story! X-23 jumps out of the unexploded plane and cuts up the sentinel. Side note: Julian appears to be alive and on his way to the medical ward. While X-23 chops away Cyclops has Dust go into the cockpit of one of them. Let's all take a moment to laugh at the first four letters of cockpit. Aaaaaand we're back. Iceman hops out of the jet and enters the fray. Beast is still inside the mansion and he now finds Cannonball with an unconscious Prof. X. He says the psychics are all down. I already knew that when I saw that the cuckoos and Emma were all down. Thank God they took the time to drive it home. Nezhno gets blasted. Bishop covers him. The team takes down a sentinel. Inside the cockpit (ha) Dust finds a robotical guy. She flips out and runs away. X-23 kills one of the roboticals as they leave their respective cockpits (hee, never gets old). The other one flies away. Issue ends with Wolverine's team coming home and him and Cyclops talk about how bad things are. Cyclops has decided to put together the All-Claws team. The newly formed X-Force, the worst X-concept in many years, departs to go kill Cable and retrieve the baby. Because finding him and talking to him would be silly.
Here I will take some time to address the new X-Force. I'm glad to see that the writers haven't decided to throw away years of continuity involving the X-Men going to great lengths to avoid killing people if at all possible because they thought it would be cool to see Wolverine and a gang of similarly abilitied X-characters killing people. Wait a second, that's exactly what they're doing. I'd like to send a very special screw you to Joe Queseda, Nick Lowe, and Axel Alonso for playing down to their fanbase. The 90's are dead and gone gentlemen. Try introducing series with interesting and/or intelligent premises rather than a series where the only draw is fitting as many knives, claws, and swords as you can on a cover page and promising lots of blood and gore inside. At least they don't have pouches.
The Breakdown
A massive step down from the last issue. Which is more of a statement on how good Carey is with the X-Men than how bad Brubaker is. It's not a bad issue on it's own, but I was really hoping to keep rolling with the same momentum as last issue and it just simply does not achieve that. The introduction of the godforsaken new X-Force isn't helping with my mood, but that's hardly Brubaker's fault. Tan does a real good job on pencils. The effort is almost wasted here.
3/5 Tafts