Make Your Ultimate Universe

[Hellsbuttmonkey]

Nipple!

 

[Langsta]

If I had written the Apocalypse arc, I would have made Toad into Ultimate Sugar Man. Poccy's machines transform/evolve Toad, giving him two extra arms, a sharper and more powerful tongue tongue, and the power to increase his mass. The machines also cause him to lose some of the pigment in his skin, giving him pale peach skin.

It would be the ****.

Cable would not be Wolverine from the future. I don't know if I'd even have a Cable in the Ultimate universe. Because really, when he was created by Liefield back in New Mutants, Liefield basically just stole the idea from the Terminator. "He goes back in time. He's badass. He has metal skin. One of his eyes is glowing." I don't know if I'd even include time travel in the story either.

None of Kirkman's arcs would have happened. **** Magical and Phoenix?. He kind of ****ed up Ultimate X-Men. Also, I wouldn't introduce Apoc so soon. I'd wait a couple arcs. I realize that Kirkman was rushed or whatever, but still.

I don't like the Ultimate universe's interpretation of Emma Frost or the New Mutants. Emma's not sexy enough. And believe it or not, I didn't really like Millar's run on the X-Men. Wolverine and Cyclops as members of the Brotherhood? I realize that it's more likely for a guy like Wolvie to join the Brotherhood first, but still. He's an X-Man. Wolverine and Marvel Girl getting it on? The X-Men as members of Weapon X? Marvel Girl with short-*** hair? WTF. I think they were even considering having Mystique on the team in the beginning. I remember seeing an early pic of Mystique in a black X-Men outfit from Ultimate X-Men.

I didn't like Bendis' run on the book either. That blonde kid who like, Wolverine killed in the cave, what was the point of that? Stupid!

Basically, I'd change almost everything about Ultimate X-Men, starting with issue #1.

Now, as for what I would have done with Ultimate Fantastic Four....Not much is different from what's already been done, but still, there are a few differences. It'd be a science fiction mixed with action and comedy. It's literally the same, with some name changes and elements from other comics.

Reed Richards, handpicked to join the Directory of Mainland Technology Development's Baxter Building think tank of young geniuses, spent his youth with Victor Van Damme developing a dimensional teleport system that transported organic matter into a parallel universe called "the N-Zone." Its first full-scale test was witnessed by Reed, Victor, biophysics prodigy Sue Storm, Sue's brother Johnny, and Reed's childhood friend Ben Grimm. Also present were Sue and Johnny's father Prof. Franklin Storm (research supervisor for the Baxter Building), Dr. Harvey Rupert Elder (a Baxter Building instructor), Lt. Lumpkin (the government agent who discovered Reed Richards), and a bevy of other military officers and scientists.

There was an accident. Victor, believing that Reed's coordinates were incorrect, surreptitiously altered the superposition calculations shortly before the test, causing the device to malfunction. As the students activated the machine, hoping to teleport a single apple to the N-Zone, they inadvertently tore open a dimensional breach in space and all five disappeared in a blinding flash of light. The students were teleported to the N-Zone, an event which changed their phase space condition into something from an alternate universe (in laymen's terms, there are multiple conceivable states of an object, a "phase space" of all the possible ways they could be; while in the N-Zone, each of the students mutated into another form that they could've been).

Reed's cells have been replaced with pliable bacterial stacks, single cells which duplicate most of the larger functions of the human body, making him superhumanly durable and allowing him to stretch his body in myriad ways without disrupting the necessary functions of internal organs such as the kidneys, lungs, or even brain. He is self-sustaining and no longer has any internal digestive, skeletal, or urinary organs. Reed can even bend the lenses of his eyes so that he no longer requires the use of visual augmentation.

Ben's musculature, bone structure, internal organ composition, soft tissue structure, and skin are greatly increased in toughness and density, and he is covered in a rocky hide that gives him superhuman strength (he can lift over 100 tons) and stamina (he can exert himself at high levels for an hour before the build-up of fatigue poisons in his blood impairs his strength), enhanced reflexes, endurance (his lungs are of greater volume and efficiency that those of a normal human), and durability (he is able to withstand the effects of armor-piercing bazooka shells - 15 lbs of high explosives - against his skin with no injury), sensory adaptation (his senses can withstand greater amounts of sensory stimuli than they could when he was a normal human), temperature tolerance (he can withstand extremes of -75 to 800 Fahrenheit for up to an hour before exposure or heat prostration occurs). Ben's reproductive system has also been altered significantly following the N-Zone incident - the first time he has sex with Alicia Masters, a chemical reaction occurs that causes his body to harbor a child, which develops for months beneath his rocky hide. Originally thought to be a tumor, the baby, along with half of Ben's armored back, was surgically removed by military scientists, leaving a large portion of Ben's spinal cord exposed. Disturbingly enough, the part of Ben's back that was removed is now part of the baby, covering his entire body and giving him a similar condition to his father.

Sue has the power to mentally bend all wavelengths of light around her or her target. This allows her to render the target in question invisible to the human eye and all forms of electronic detection. She can also generate invisible force fields that allow her to levitate herself or other objects, fire concussive blasts of energy, and cause objects to explode by projecting and expanding force fields inside them. She does, however, require the use of special contact lenses in order to see while invisible.

Johnny's body (skin, hair, and eyes) is covered with a microscopic layer of transparent fireproofing plates, making him fully immune to fire damage. His cells generate plasmajets through clean nuclear fusion, allowing him to emit flame from part or all of his skin, and even fly. He powers this fusion internally, so if he does not consume enough energy to generate new protective cells regularly, he runs the risk of literally burning himself up (he burns/fuses his own body fat to provide his fuel).

Victor's body is made of living regenerative metal with techno-organic organs and cloven hooves. He is extremely durable and can grow and fling volleys of quills from his forearms.

Reed, Susan, Ben, and Johnny continued to work as scientists for the US military, who eventually fashioned a public image for the four, dubbing them "the Fantastic Four" and giving them each codenames - Reed became Flex Mentallo, Sue became Invisible Ninja-Girl, Ben became Asbestos Thing, and Johnny became Human Dashboard Lighter. Victor left for Europe after the N-Zone accident, arrogantly blaming Reed for his condition and holding a grudge against him for it.

One of the Fantastic Four's first enemies was the Mole Man. After being fired from the Baxter Building faculty for his grotesque animal experiments, socially deficient albino Harvey Elder disappeared into underground caverns designed by an ancient advanced society. He returned to the surface with an army of genetically-engineered subterranean monsters, enraged by the surface society's treatment of him. Elder and his scientific abhorrations are quickly disposed of by the Fantastic Four.

I don't like the recent UFF arcs with the Thanos stuff and that Seed Nineteen stuff.

I'd change a lot about Ultimate Spider-Man. Mostly the characters. No "Fred" Flash Thompson. No "King Kong Harlan Clifford Kenny McFarlane" name crap. No Omega Red crap characters. No ****ing clones. Different Venom story. Different Carnage story. No Justin Hammer, Roxxon Industries, Marvel Knights, new-character-every-issue crap. No "introducing Dr. Strange's son when Dr. Strange hasn't even been introduced yet" crap.

I'd change nothing about Ultimates 1 and 2.

Oh, and I liked Ultimate Iron Man. I liked Card's skin-armor idea and I think it's an awesome concept, even for an Iron Man comic. So sue me.

Now, for some real thinking.

Ultimates 3
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Greg Land; later J.G. Jones
Description: The Ultimates, if Loeb and Mad hadn't ****ed it up. Millar and Hitch, even though they're perfect on the title, are off - I'm treating this like it's real and this is the time when Ultimates 2 was ending and Millar and Hitch had lost interest in the Ultimates. Sure, I'll have Black Panther in it. I'm fascinated with the idea of Kyle Richmond from Supreme Power being Black Panther though. So the Supremeiverse gets Nick Fury, the Ultimate Universe gets Kyle Richmond. With Loeb gone, there are a lot of opportunities to pick up on some ideas that Millar left. Vision II and Ultron on the team, why not.

Ultimate Iron Man 3.0
Writer: Michael Crichton
Artist: Mike Mayhew
Description: Crichton is known for his techno-thriller novels (though he also wrote Jurassic Park). Features the Mandarin. Sequel to Iron Man II; takes place before and after Ultimates 3.

Ultimate Badass
Writer: Brian Azzarello
Artist: Ben Oliver
Description: Mini-series leading up to an ongoing series. While he's chillin' in the Supremeiverse, take some time to check out this exclusive origin story of the former head honcho of SHIELD himself, General Nick Fury. From his college days in India to his military days in Vietnam, to his spy days later on, witness one of comics' coolest characters grow into the most badass mother****er in the Ultimate universe. I was impressed by Oliver's work on Authority: Human on the Inside.

Ultimate Pimpmaster
Writer: Christopher Priest
Artist: ChrisCross
Description: An ongoing starring my boi Nick Fury.

Ultimate X-Men
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: J.G. Jones
Description:

Ultimate Spider-Man
Writer: I'd like a current indie writer for this
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Description:

Ultimate Fantastic Four
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Frank Quitely
Description: The inseparable comics duo of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely tackles the Ultimate Fantastic Four in The World's New Greatest Comic Magazine!

Ultimate Hawk-Owl and Woody the Boy Wonder
Writer: Frank Miller
Artist: Jim Lee
Description: JK. But seriously.

Ultimate Jesus and Moses
Writer: Mark Millar and Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Pia Guerra
Description: The Ultimate adventures of Jesus and Moses.