ourchair
Well-Known Member
You should consider working as an alternative cartoonist. Seriously.
Langsta Opera or: The Works of Langsta
- Thread starter Langsta
- Start date
Langsta
Well-Known Member
Alternative cartoonist? What's that?
The above pic is an idea I had for an "Ultimate" Superman. It kind of sucks, and as you can see in a lot of my drawings, there are smears and smudges - the downfall of being left-handed. It looks like Miracleman because of the shade of blue I used. I only shaded the head, which was inspired by Marc Silvestri's art, particularly Darkness, as I was going for a different feel for Supes, instead of just the old lantern-jawed, butt-chinned look. I always thought that Supes' outfit looked too much like cloth. I didn't like his Returns costume. But since his suit is supposed to have Kryptonian origins, I decided that it should be kind of like an exo-suit, a....a skin-tight "armor." And the rest of his costume is just stuff I put in there to make him look like Nova, because I like the way Nova was redesigned in Annihilation: Conquest. The Miracleman resemblance is unintentional though.
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
TETSUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was bored, so I decided to draw an Americanized version of Kaneda from Akira. You guys like?
Ultimate Houde
UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
He looks alot like your Han SOlo pic
Langsta
Well-Known Member
Damn I didn't even realize that I drew them in the same pose.
Langsta
Well-Known Member
This is Robin. A new design for Robin. I obviously used the same template as the Langsta Paint drawing, because I didn't feel like drawing out another head.
And, below is a Nightwing version. Even though Nightwing doesn't have a cape.
And here's my own version of Mario.
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
Since it's the Holidays, I've decided to reward you guys with a special treat.
LANGSTA PRESENTS: LANGSTA CLASSICS
PART ONE - WRITING
Murder Legendre
>Full Name: Murder Legendre
>Born: Xiron
>Species: Xipod
>Known Relatives: Johnny Infanticide (a.k.a. Johnny Date-Rape, twin brother); the rest of his family is presumed dead
>Occupation: Intergalactic bounty hunter/assassin, captain of the Space Peanut
>Story: Murder is a badass bounty hunter and space captain of the prized rebel starship Space Peanut. He was born to wealthy plantation owners on Xiron (a planet in the Triangulum Galaxy, approx. 2,640,000 light-years from the Milky Way). After a thousand-year war, the two dominant species of Xiron, the Xipods (humanlike, carbon-based bipeds) and the Balmacs (giant killer bees), finally reconciled and lived in harmony for many years. However, the death of Murder's wife prompted him to go on a rampage and eradicate all life forms on the planet, take up bounty hunting as a profession, and change his name to Murder. He subsequently became the greatest, most badass bounty hunter in the known universe. He eventually formed a team of bounty hunters as captain of the rebel starship "Space Peanut," consisting of his current lover Elissa Ninjabread, and his twin brother (as well as the only other survivor from his rampage on Xiron) Johnny Infanticide.
>Powers/Abilities: Mild telekinetic powers allowing him to shoot lightning-like psionic lasers from his mind; as a bounty hunter, he is well-versed in all forms of combat, armed and un-armed
>Height: 5'6"
>Weight: 175 lbs.
>Personality Traits: Sadistic, moronic, egotistical, uncaring, mean, badass, mother****er
>Physical Appearance: Muscular, athletic; wavy, shoulder-length blonde hair and a goatee
>Trivia:
- He pisses excellence.
- He has a .3-second quick-draw and is extremely accurate.
- He is a eunuch.
- He has a penchant for salsa dancing.
- He is a self-proclaimed badass mother****er.
- He hates snakes (specifically hamadryads).
- His favorite song is "Do You Feel Like We Do" by Peter Frampton.
- He never reveals his face.
- He is usually 100% confident in everything he says and does, no matter how ridiculous or frivolous it is.
- His exo-suit gives him the ability to lift 10 tons with ease.
- His name comes from the Bela Lugosi character from White Zombie (1932). White Zombie is considered to be the first zombie film.
- His appearance is based on that of Brak from Space Ghost, as well as on the Marvel comics character Deadpool.
- His birth place and species are named after Kim Jong-Il's fictional birth place and species from Team America: World Police (2004).
----------------------------------------
Frankie Fisticuffs
Francis Fabrizio "Frankie" Fisticuffs (1858-1929) was the pioneer of boxing, is the single most important face of the sport, and is even sometimes credited for inventing it. Descended from a long line of brawlers, beginning with his paternal great-great-great-grandfather, Fisty McFisticuffs, he has inspired generations and generations of boxers for years to come. Frankie is also said to be descended from King Leonidas I of Sparta, making him a descendant of Hercules, as well as part-Greek.
Early childhood
Frankie Fisticuffs was born into a devout Roman Catholic Irish-Italian family in Boston, Massachusetts to Mickey and Catherine McFisticuffs. His parents immigrated from Ireland to Boston in the mid-1800s and dropped the "Mc" at the beginning of their last name.
Frankie Fisticuffs as a baby
During his formative years as an infant, Frankie was filled with rage for no apparent reason other than being a member of the Spartan bloodline, and expressed his feral nature at a young age, punching holes through cars on accident. As seen in the picture above, he had the tendency to shake his hands in a violent manner. When he was four years old, his father, Mickey, walked out on the family, leaving Frankie without a male figure to look up to. At 7 years old, Frankie's body was at peak human physical condition.
During his school years, Frankie got into many fights - fighting was the only way he knew how to channel his rage. Frankie got detention every day for an entire school year for fighting when he was 13. By 14, he had already moved to fifteen different schools. When he was 15, Frankie joined his school's wrestling team. He accidentally killed his opponent, a student from a rival school. His only punishment for killing the kid was getting kicked off the team, and the incident was not made aware to the public.
Frankie Fisticuffs, at twelve years old
Late childhood
Sometime during high school, when Frankie was 15, his parents decided to send him to a psychiatrist to work out his problems. His shrink, ****y Mc********, determined that Frankie's behavior was hereditary and uncurable. That same shrink believed in the evolutionary theory that Gil Gerard used a time machine, went back and ejaculated into the primordial ooze. But he did refer Frankie's parents to a friend of his named "Gorgeous" George Sullivan, a self-defense coach and fellow Irishman. George was like a surrogate father to Frankie, and looked over him, teaching him to control his rage. The two eventually developed a bare-knuckle fighting sport which would eventually become known as boxing, or "fisticuffs" (named after Frankie himself). The dynamic duo eventually made names for themselves in Boston's Irish community as bare-knuckle boxers, setting up fight clubs around the city. After several years, boxing became extremely popular, and Frankie and George made millions with their sport. With his millions, Frankie traveled the world on a spiritual journey.
Upon returning to Boston at the age of 22, Frankie met his first wife, an Irish lass named Karen McPhee. Frankie also caught up with George, who had become a star boxer and wanted to share the fame and fortune with his friend.
The most famous photo of Frankie Fisticuffs, depicting him in a boxing match as he taunts his opponent with his 'guns'
Career as a professional boxer
Frankie decided to become a full-time professional boxer alongside his friend and mentor. He proved to be a formidable fighter and became very successful. In fact, he became undefeated. He is noted for often referring to his muscles as 'guns.' However, the fame and the fortune opened new doors for Frankie, doors that led to things like desire, and by 35, Frankie was already looking for a new wife. Shortly thereafter, he divorced Karen and married 23-year-old Valerie Jacobs.
In 1889, Frankie's mother Catherine died. At her funeral, 31-year-old Frankie met his father Mickey for the first time in 27 years. The two reconciled, and Mickey decided that he wanted to spend whatever time he had left of his life with his son. Three days later, Mickey died of a heart attack. Frankie took a temporary leave of absence from boxing to grieve the deaths of his parents. In 1890, Valerie gave birth to a son, Mickey, named after Frankie's father.
Throughout his fighting career, Frankie received many injuries, resulting in hospitalization on many different occasions. In 1895, it was determined by doctors that he was mentally retarded and had a tumor in his brain that had accumulated from the massive beatings he received during his career. After discovering this, Valerie divorced her husband and took full custody of their son - she convinced the court that due to Frankie's recklessness as a professional bare-knuckle boxer, and due to his mental retardation, he was unfit to raise a child. Despite being a retard with a tumor, Frankie was still the best boxer in the world, and could bench press 12 tons with one of his testicles. If one did the math, one would find that one of his sperms could bench 2.5 tons, or 5 tons with both hands.
By the early 20th century, as boxing had become more and more popular, George had retired and became a boxing coach, while Frankie continued to shine as the undisputed champion of the sport. Despite his popularity, Frankie was segregated for being a retard. He donated millions of dollars to charity and funded a cure for cancer, as well as a trip to the moon, two projects that would never be completed in Frankie's lifetime.
In 1928, long after his retirement, after beating his cocaine addiction, gaining an IQ of 300, having his tumor removed by a laser, adopting 600 Cambodian orphans, and being reunited with his son, Frankie received a lifetime achievement award from President Franklin D. Roosevelt for his impact on society (boxing in particular).
Death
In 1929, while riding the subway in New York City, Frankie encountered a band of bandits who held the train hostage. Just as one of the bandits was about to shoot an innocent female bystander, Frankie jumped in the way, absorbed the bullet into his chest, shot it back out at the bandit from his chest, grabbed the bandit's gun in mid-air, spun around, shot another bandit six times, stopped another bullet in mid-air with his mind, shot the bandit who fired that bullet, chucked his gun at the last bandit's face, jumped forward into a kick into the bandit's belly, propelling the bandit in the air and through a door where the bandit fell outside and split his head open, jump up and spun around twice, had a heart attack and died.
A statue commemorating Frankie was built in the middle of Times Square. April 6th is now celebrated as "Fisticuff's Day."
Legacy
Frankie's son Mickey eventually took up the mantle of his father, but never met the same success he did. His great-grandson, Butch Fisticuffs, grew up as a chain-smoking, alcoholic NYPD lieutenant detective who had a disorder that caused his body to look and function like a mere baby. Nevertheless, Butch was one of the most well-regarded cops in New York City and earned a bunch of medals and stuff.
Frankie Fisticuffs as portrayed by Irish-Italian-French actor (as well as Frankie's second-cousin on his mother's side, twelve times removed) Fisty McFistfists in the controversial 1949 bio-pic, "Fisticuffs: The True Story of a Douchebag," in which Frankie was portrayed negatively, and inaccurately as a gay man
In 1949, a bio-pic of Frankie Fisticuffs was made, entitled "Fisticuffs: The True Story of a Douchebag." It starred Frankie's second-cousin Fisty McFistfists, whose side of the family very much disliked Frankie and was jealous of Frankie's thunder. In the bio-pic, Frankie was erroneously and absurdly portrayed as having a homosexual relationship with every male character, including his father. The film sparked major controversy among Frankie's friends and family, as well as among historians and boxers who were inspired by Frankie. The homosexual community, however, praised it for its gay sex scenes. There were a total of 75.
Above, Macaulay Culkin stars as Frankie Fisticuffs in the updated bio-pic, "Fisticuffs"
In 2007, a new bio-pic of Frankie was released, known simply as "Fisticuffs." It was much more accurate than its predecessor. It only had one gay sex scene.
Quotes
"I love scotch. Scotchy, scotchy, scotch. Here it goes, down in to my belly. Mm-mm-mm."
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show .... And see if she likes the goods."
"Great story. Compelling, and rich."
"Oh, Audrey - I look like Hell! I've got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I would punch you."
"What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole .... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing."
"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."
"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
"Ohh, it's the deep burn. Oh, it's so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand."
"Sweet Lincoln's mullet!"
"You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Frankie Fisticuffs?"
"By the beard of Zeus!"
"Great Odin's raven!"
"Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."
"Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee."
"I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN. I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."
"You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public."
"I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head."
"The human torch was denied a bank loan."
"It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice."
"Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman. I'll take you to foggy London town 'cause you are my little gentleman. Wow, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling."
"Son of a bee-sting."
"Knights of Columbus, that hurt."
"I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady."
"How now, brown cow."
"Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Valerie and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild."
"Hmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone .... come and see how good I look."
"Uncle Jonathan's corn-cob pipe!"
"It's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
----------------------------------------
"Father give me the Bull of Heaven,
So he can kill Gilgamesh in his dwelling.
If you do not give me the Bull of Heaven,
I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
And will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!
It will be awful!"
- Ishtar, Epic of Gilgamesh
Praefatio
The following is based on true events. It is a tale of epic proportions, a masterwork representing the apex of artistry, among the greatest pieces of popular fiction ever conceived and mass-produced by a young Asian-American from the slums of [city censored for my safety], Michigan.
Mr. Tom Harris, best-selling author from Santa Barbara, California. Tired of his current life, he leaves for the Caribbean, hoping to find solace and inspiration for his next book. Unbeknownst to Tom and his friends, as they pass southward over the Northern Atlantic Ocean into the Virgin Islands, they segue into an uncharted land, a land of both shadow and substance, of both things and ideas, between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge; a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination, where any thought can become reality .... A land where any one person can inadvertently and variably become:
RETARDEAD
By Langsta
"Great story. Compelling, and rich."
- Ron Burgundy
"Probably the greatest story ever written in the history of mankind."
- Chuck Norris
"This is hands down the single greatest compilation of words in the history of the ****ing universe. It is the epitome of human literature and the embodiment of perfection. This story is the ****ing meaning of life. I want it to put its dick in me."
- God
"Ditto."
- Satan
"This story made me **** my pants out of nowhere. My wife Darlene bought me the audiobook version to listen to in my car on the way to work in the morning. Upon reading the first few words, I noticed the slight smell of **** in my vicinity. Upon further investigation, I discovered that **** had flooded my pants and I began to **** profusely and unceasingly. I **** my pants right there in the car. It was mud-butt. But I wasn't the least bit mad or annoyed. It was the greatest day of my life."
- Anonymous New Yorker
LANGSTA PRESENTS: LANGSTA CLASSICS
PART ONE - WRITING
Murder Legendre
>Full Name: Murder Legendre
>Born: Xiron
>Species: Xipod
>Known Relatives: Johnny Infanticide (a.k.a. Johnny Date-Rape, twin brother); the rest of his family is presumed dead
>Occupation: Intergalactic bounty hunter/assassin, captain of the Space Peanut
>Story: Murder is a badass bounty hunter and space captain of the prized rebel starship Space Peanut. He was born to wealthy plantation owners on Xiron (a planet in the Triangulum Galaxy, approx. 2,640,000 light-years from the Milky Way). After a thousand-year war, the two dominant species of Xiron, the Xipods (humanlike, carbon-based bipeds) and the Balmacs (giant killer bees), finally reconciled and lived in harmony for many years. However, the death of Murder's wife prompted him to go on a rampage and eradicate all life forms on the planet, take up bounty hunting as a profession, and change his name to Murder. He subsequently became the greatest, most badass bounty hunter in the known universe. He eventually formed a team of bounty hunters as captain of the rebel starship "Space Peanut," consisting of his current lover Elissa Ninjabread, and his twin brother (as well as the only other survivor from his rampage on Xiron) Johnny Infanticide.
>Powers/Abilities: Mild telekinetic powers allowing him to shoot lightning-like psionic lasers from his mind; as a bounty hunter, he is well-versed in all forms of combat, armed and un-armed
>Height: 5'6"
>Weight: 175 lbs.
>Personality Traits: Sadistic, moronic, egotistical, uncaring, mean, badass, mother****er
>Physical Appearance: Muscular, athletic; wavy, shoulder-length blonde hair and a goatee
>Trivia:
- He pisses excellence.
- He has a .3-second quick-draw and is extremely accurate.
- He is a eunuch.
- He has a penchant for salsa dancing.
- He is a self-proclaimed badass mother****er.
- He hates snakes (specifically hamadryads).
- His favorite song is "Do You Feel Like We Do" by Peter Frampton.
- He never reveals his face.
- He is usually 100% confident in everything he says and does, no matter how ridiculous or frivolous it is.
- His exo-suit gives him the ability to lift 10 tons with ease.
- His name comes from the Bela Lugosi character from White Zombie (1932). White Zombie is considered to be the first zombie film.
- His appearance is based on that of Brak from Space Ghost, as well as on the Marvel comics character Deadpool.
- His birth place and species are named after Kim Jong-Il's fictional birth place and species from Team America: World Police (2004).
----------------------------------------
Frankie Fisticuffs
Francis Fabrizio "Frankie" Fisticuffs (1858-1929) was the pioneer of boxing, is the single most important face of the sport, and is even sometimes credited for inventing it. Descended from a long line of brawlers, beginning with his paternal great-great-great-grandfather, Fisty McFisticuffs, he has inspired generations and generations of boxers for years to come. Frankie is also said to be descended from King Leonidas I of Sparta, making him a descendant of Hercules, as well as part-Greek.
Early childhood
Frankie Fisticuffs was born into a devout Roman Catholic Irish-Italian family in Boston, Massachusetts to Mickey and Catherine McFisticuffs. His parents immigrated from Ireland to Boston in the mid-1800s and dropped the "Mc" at the beginning of their last name.
Frankie Fisticuffs as a baby
During his formative years as an infant, Frankie was filled with rage for no apparent reason other than being a member of the Spartan bloodline, and expressed his feral nature at a young age, punching holes through cars on accident. As seen in the picture above, he had the tendency to shake his hands in a violent manner. When he was four years old, his father, Mickey, walked out on the family, leaving Frankie without a male figure to look up to. At 7 years old, Frankie's body was at peak human physical condition.
During his school years, Frankie got into many fights - fighting was the only way he knew how to channel his rage. Frankie got detention every day for an entire school year for fighting when he was 13. By 14, he had already moved to fifteen different schools. When he was 15, Frankie joined his school's wrestling team. He accidentally killed his opponent, a student from a rival school. His only punishment for killing the kid was getting kicked off the team, and the incident was not made aware to the public.
Frankie Fisticuffs, at twelve years old
Late childhood
Sometime during high school, when Frankie was 15, his parents decided to send him to a psychiatrist to work out his problems. His shrink, ****y Mc********, determined that Frankie's behavior was hereditary and uncurable. That same shrink believed in the evolutionary theory that Gil Gerard used a time machine, went back and ejaculated into the primordial ooze. But he did refer Frankie's parents to a friend of his named "Gorgeous" George Sullivan, a self-defense coach and fellow Irishman. George was like a surrogate father to Frankie, and looked over him, teaching him to control his rage. The two eventually developed a bare-knuckle fighting sport which would eventually become known as boxing, or "fisticuffs" (named after Frankie himself). The dynamic duo eventually made names for themselves in Boston's Irish community as bare-knuckle boxers, setting up fight clubs around the city. After several years, boxing became extremely popular, and Frankie and George made millions with their sport. With his millions, Frankie traveled the world on a spiritual journey.
Upon returning to Boston at the age of 22, Frankie met his first wife, an Irish lass named Karen McPhee. Frankie also caught up with George, who had become a star boxer and wanted to share the fame and fortune with his friend.
The most famous photo of Frankie Fisticuffs, depicting him in a boxing match as he taunts his opponent with his 'guns'
Career as a professional boxer
Frankie decided to become a full-time professional boxer alongside his friend and mentor. He proved to be a formidable fighter and became very successful. In fact, he became undefeated. He is noted for often referring to his muscles as 'guns.' However, the fame and the fortune opened new doors for Frankie, doors that led to things like desire, and by 35, Frankie was already looking for a new wife. Shortly thereafter, he divorced Karen and married 23-year-old Valerie Jacobs.
In 1889, Frankie's mother Catherine died. At her funeral, 31-year-old Frankie met his father Mickey for the first time in 27 years. The two reconciled, and Mickey decided that he wanted to spend whatever time he had left of his life with his son. Three days later, Mickey died of a heart attack. Frankie took a temporary leave of absence from boxing to grieve the deaths of his parents. In 1890, Valerie gave birth to a son, Mickey, named after Frankie's father.
Throughout his fighting career, Frankie received many injuries, resulting in hospitalization on many different occasions. In 1895, it was determined by doctors that he was mentally retarded and had a tumor in his brain that had accumulated from the massive beatings he received during his career. After discovering this, Valerie divorced her husband and took full custody of their son - she convinced the court that due to Frankie's recklessness as a professional bare-knuckle boxer, and due to his mental retardation, he was unfit to raise a child. Despite being a retard with a tumor, Frankie was still the best boxer in the world, and could bench press 12 tons with one of his testicles. If one did the math, one would find that one of his sperms could bench 2.5 tons, or 5 tons with both hands.
By the early 20th century, as boxing had become more and more popular, George had retired and became a boxing coach, while Frankie continued to shine as the undisputed champion of the sport. Despite his popularity, Frankie was segregated for being a retard. He donated millions of dollars to charity and funded a cure for cancer, as well as a trip to the moon, two projects that would never be completed in Frankie's lifetime.
In 1928, long after his retirement, after beating his cocaine addiction, gaining an IQ of 300, having his tumor removed by a laser, adopting 600 Cambodian orphans, and being reunited with his son, Frankie received a lifetime achievement award from President Franklin D. Roosevelt for his impact on society (boxing in particular).
Death
In 1929, while riding the subway in New York City, Frankie encountered a band of bandits who held the train hostage. Just as one of the bandits was about to shoot an innocent female bystander, Frankie jumped in the way, absorbed the bullet into his chest, shot it back out at the bandit from his chest, grabbed the bandit's gun in mid-air, spun around, shot another bandit six times, stopped another bullet in mid-air with his mind, shot the bandit who fired that bullet, chucked his gun at the last bandit's face, jumped forward into a kick into the bandit's belly, propelling the bandit in the air and through a door where the bandit fell outside and split his head open, jump up and spun around twice, had a heart attack and died.
A statue commemorating Frankie was built in the middle of Times Square. April 6th is now celebrated as "Fisticuff's Day."
Legacy
Frankie's son Mickey eventually took up the mantle of his father, but never met the same success he did. His great-grandson, Butch Fisticuffs, grew up as a chain-smoking, alcoholic NYPD lieutenant detective who had a disorder that caused his body to look and function like a mere baby. Nevertheless, Butch was one of the most well-regarded cops in New York City and earned a bunch of medals and stuff.
Frankie Fisticuffs as portrayed by Irish-Italian-French actor (as well as Frankie's second-cousin on his mother's side, twelve times removed) Fisty McFistfists in the controversial 1949 bio-pic, "Fisticuffs: The True Story of a Douchebag," in which Frankie was portrayed negatively, and inaccurately as a gay man
In 1949, a bio-pic of Frankie Fisticuffs was made, entitled "Fisticuffs: The True Story of a Douchebag." It starred Frankie's second-cousin Fisty McFistfists, whose side of the family very much disliked Frankie and was jealous of Frankie's thunder. In the bio-pic, Frankie was erroneously and absurdly portrayed as having a homosexual relationship with every male character, including his father. The film sparked major controversy among Frankie's friends and family, as well as among historians and boxers who were inspired by Frankie. The homosexual community, however, praised it for its gay sex scenes. There were a total of 75.
Above, Macaulay Culkin stars as Frankie Fisticuffs in the updated bio-pic, "Fisticuffs"
In 2007, a new bio-pic of Frankie was released, known simply as "Fisticuffs." It was much more accurate than its predecessor. It only had one gay sex scene.
Quotes
"I love scotch. Scotchy, scotchy, scotch. Here it goes, down in to my belly. Mm-mm-mm."
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show .... And see if she likes the goods."
"Great story. Compelling, and rich."
"Oh, Audrey - I look like Hell! I've got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I would punch you."
"What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole .... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing."
"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."
"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
"Ohh, it's the deep burn. Oh, it's so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand."
"Sweet Lincoln's mullet!"
"You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Frankie Fisticuffs?"
"By the beard of Zeus!"
"Great Odin's raven!"
"Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."
"Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee."
"I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN. I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."
"You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public."
"I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head."
"The human torch was denied a bank loan."
"It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice."
"Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman. I'll take you to foggy London town 'cause you are my little gentleman. Wow, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling."
"Son of a bee-sting."
"Knights of Columbus, that hurt."
"I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady."
"How now, brown cow."
"Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Valerie and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild."
"Hmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone .... come and see how good I look."
"Uncle Jonathan's corn-cob pipe!"
"It's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
----------------------------------------
"Father give me the Bull of Heaven,
So he can kill Gilgamesh in his dwelling.
If you do not give me the Bull of Heaven,
I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
And will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!
It will be awful!"
- Ishtar, Epic of Gilgamesh
Praefatio
The following is based on true events. It is a tale of epic proportions, a masterwork representing the apex of artistry, among the greatest pieces of popular fiction ever conceived and mass-produced by a young Asian-American from the slums of [city censored for my safety], Michigan.
Mr. Tom Harris, best-selling author from Santa Barbara, California. Tired of his current life, he leaves for the Caribbean, hoping to find solace and inspiration for his next book. Unbeknownst to Tom and his friends, as they pass southward over the Northern Atlantic Ocean into the Virgin Islands, they segue into an uncharted land, a land of both shadow and substance, of both things and ideas, between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge; a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination, where any thought can become reality .... A land where any one person can inadvertently and variably become:
RETARDEAD
By Langsta
"Great story. Compelling, and rich."
- Ron Burgundy
"Probably the greatest story ever written in the history of mankind."
- Chuck Norris
"This is hands down the single greatest compilation of words in the history of the ****ing universe. It is the epitome of human literature and the embodiment of perfection. This story is the ****ing meaning of life. I want it to put its dick in me."
- God
"Ditto."
- Satan
"This story made me **** my pants out of nowhere. My wife Darlene bought me the audiobook version to listen to in my car on the way to work in the morning. Upon reading the first few words, I noticed the slight smell of **** in my vicinity. Upon further investigation, I discovered that **** had flooded my pants and I began to **** profusely and unceasingly. I **** my pants right there in the car. It was mud-butt. But I wasn't the least bit mad or annoyed. It was the greatest day of my life."
- Anonymous New Yorker
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
PART TWO - ARTWORK
"Murder Legendre."
"Cletus the Fetus."
"DCLXVI" / "Lucifer."
"Girardot" / "Gerard Disraeli."
"Lucifuge Rofocale."
"Lizerd" / "Shampookie."
"Mariachi Dude."
"Scythemaster."
"Vindicare."
"Callidus."
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
PART THREE - ARTWORK (CONT'D)
"Wolverine."
"Wolvie."
"Shotgun-to-Face."
"Whig."
"Mr. Happy Cheeks."
"Mr. Pancreas."
"Peluca Joe."
"Me."
"Grider."
"MKTU."
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
PART FOUR - ARTWORK (CONT'D)
"Old Spidey."
"Cable."
"Erythor (Mark I)."
"Erythor (Mark II)."
"Groucho."
"Moore and E."
"Pumpking."
"Namsta the Heavy Metal Devil." The original drawing from which this is based is not called Namsta.
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
And now, something new: two redesigns of Apocalypse. The large, full-body drawing on the left is like a Jack Kirby version of Apoc - I tried to design his costume after Kirby's New Gods or Eternals, because I heard somewhere that Apoc is an Eternal. The small avatar-size picture of Apoc's head on the top right is based on the cover of X-Factor #6, Apoc's first appearance.
Langsta
Well-Known Member
A new design for Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. I think there's a little too much red in the costume....oh well.
Gemini
Well-Known Member
as a rabid MK fan
no
sorry
no
sorry
Langsta
Well-Known Member
What's wrong, you don't like the scorpion part of the mask?
Gemini
Well-Known Member
yeah the mask is pretty bad
even without that it seems more like a bondage inspired Noob Saibot costume with gold highlights, and no to the red, and no to the Dragon on the Loincloth, it's just too cluttered. that's the problem with most MK characters now there outfits have become way to ornamental.
Langsta
Well-Known Member
Uh....Well, I'll draw him with his gi on.
Gemini
Well-Known Member
sorry if i offended you or something, i kinda just stumbled on this thread by accident and saw something MK related
it's a nice try though
Langsta
Well-Known Member
Heh, thanks.
The first one is the original image with different coloring (obviously).
This one was rushed. So it doesn't look as good. I was trying to draw him in a Bruce Lee stance.
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Langsta
Well-Known Member
So here's Thor. He kinda looks like Ultimate Thor but he's got a kilt and 616 Thor's version of Mjolnir. Don't mind the hands. I ****ed up the hands. But it was in pen, so ya know, what are ya gonna do.
This is a young, "Elseworlds" version of Dr. Strange. Like if Dr. Strange got his powers when he was younger. Picture the comic book being written by J.K. Rowling. The Adventures of Young Dr. Strange. I know, I do a lot of redesigning.
This first one here is the first one I did. I tried to make his face look, for lack of a better word, "strange." I wanted his face to be long and I kinda gave him some Oriental features. I wanted to make his hair look weird. Don't mind the coloring, I was just trying to see what different colors would work with him.
The pic below is a revised version. I gave him too much blue....I guess he just doesn't look right without the Cloak of Levitation.
This is a young, "Elseworlds" version of Dr. Strange. Like if Dr. Strange got his powers when he was younger. Picture the comic book being written by J.K. Rowling. The Adventures of Young Dr. Strange. I know, I do a lot of redesigning.
This first one here is the first one I did. I tried to make his face look, for lack of a better word, "strange." I wanted his face to be long and I kinda gave him some Oriental features. I wanted to make his hair look weird. Don't mind the coloring, I was just trying to see what different colors would work with him.
The pic below is a revised version. I gave him too much blue....I guess he just doesn't look right without the Cloak of Levitation.
Langsta
Well-Known Member
One of the many different versions of Langsta.
