How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

I don't know much about fighting 5 year olds, but if it's anything like fighting a large group of midgets, than the answer is about 35. What you guys have forgoten is that knocked out midgets (or five year olds) make a handy weapon if you pick up their unconscious body and whip them around by an appendage.
 
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i'd pick one up by his/her ankles and swing it around, like mario spins bowser

as long as i don't get too dizzy i bet i could take down alot of them
 
It's 60 and 70 easy cuz this is life or death situation and they are five year olds.
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Lets say if you are in decent shape you could knock a 5 year old out in one punch. So i figure it would simply be how many you can get before you tire out. And I'd imagine after you get about 10 you'd start to get more efficient at it.
 
slimjim said:
It's 60 and 70 easy cuz this is life or death situation and they are five year olds.
onion_news1876.article.jpg

Lets say if you are in decent shape you could knock a 5 year old out in one punch. So i figure it would simply be how many you can get before you tire out. And I'd imagine after you get about 10 you'd start to get more efficient at it.
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Oh man, I'd love to just punch that obnoxious little bastard in the face. Look at him...with that condecending smile...always laughing...laughing at me...
 
slimjim said:
It's 60 and 70 easy cuz this is life or death situation and they are five year olds.
onion_news1876.article.jpg

Lets say if you are in decent shape you could knock a 5 year old out in one punch. So i figure it would simply be how many you can get before you tire out. And I'd imagine after you get about 10 you'd start to get more efficient at it.
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Um... that kid looks kind of creepy. At first glance he's normal, but the way he's grimacing... his vacant stare... the blackness rimming his eyes...

Yeah, that kid's kinda creepy...
 
I wouldn't worry about being swarmed too much, I think that could get about three per arm swing and their faces about my knee height. So realistically, I could probably take 30 unarmed.
 
I've had a whole class of 5 year olds jump on me once. Those little suckers are tough to get through, but eventually, you can get 'em.
 
fenway said:
I am the father of a 4 year old girl and a 3 year old girl

I feel I am qualified to discuss the fighting ferocity of a five year old.

None of us would last 5 minutes against even one - two minutes if she's mad
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Unless you uppercut them in the face and roundhouse kick them on a regular basis, I'd say you're thinking too much like a parent and not enough like Chuck Norris.
 
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Lynx said:
Unless you uppercut them in the face and roundhouse kick them on a regular basis, I'd say you're thinking too much like a parent and not enough like Chuck Norris.
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Have you ever noticed that Chuck Norris always fights adults? There is a DISTINCT, and now PAINFULLY OBVIOUS lack of 5-year old opponents in his movies.

Coincidence? I think not.

Chuck knows who not to pee-off

I think the REAL question is "How many of YOU PEOPLE would be needed to incapacitate a five year old?"!


(Please keep your NEW answers to this NEW, RELATED question to odd multiples of 10 only)
 
fenway said:
Have you ever noticed that Chuck Norris always fights adults? There is a DISTINCT, and now PAINFULLY OBVIOUS lack of 5-year old opponents in his movies.

Coincidence? I think not.

Chuck knows who not to pee-off
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I am not getting into a Chuck Norris joke-off. No way, no how. I just brought him up because he's assocaited with roundhouse kicks and it would be funny to see someone roundhouse a 5 year-old (If a bit sick).
 
This is one of the best threads I've ever seen. Violence against children is always socially acceptable AND hillarious.

I have a 4 (almost 5) year old sister, and I'm pretty sure I could take her and a lot of her friends. 5 year olds aren't as coordinated as you might think.
 
I'm pretty sure I could take down well over one hundred five-year-olds.

It's all about strategy with these little bastards.

I would grab the first one up and start swinging him around and knocking at least a few rows of his buddies down. I would also point and yell things like "LOOK, FREE ICE CREAM!" or "LOOK! FREE POKEMON!" and manage to get a few easy shots in when I'm feeling winded. Alternately, I would say funny words like "dookie" and "poop-butt" and "boobies" to make them laugh and catch them off guard, and do pretty much the same thing as mentioned above. As a last ditch effort, I would start gouging eyes, pulling their lower jaws off and biting their throats out. Desperate times call for desperate measure.

There is nothing imposing or scary about a five-year-old unless you're talking about Damian from "The Omen" or something of that nature. A few hundred of them would be tough, but the first hundred would for sure, just be a lot of fun.
 
Have we forgotten the sharp underdeveloped teeth. I fight 2 year olds everyday at work, with the help of three other women.









Machine guns. You need lots of machine guns. Also maybe some super glue "laying" around so that they can play with it and choke while eating it. Also give them a chest full of toys. But not enough toys to go around. That way you manipulate the ones left without toys and they will defect to your side in a heartbeat.
 
Also, 5-year-olds are already thieves in practice. One time (I swear to you this is a true story), this 5 year old, now in 2 grade, bit some kid and got in trouble. When he was at the office, and I was there leaving for the cafe or a class, that kid tried to steal my watch. Steal it. He just went for it and tried to take it off saying, "Gimme".

That kid isn't much trouble now, but he's still tiny.
 
Ice said:
Wuss.
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Well, that post would only get deleted anyway.
Lynx said:
am not getting into a Chuck Norris joke-off. No way, no how. I just brought him up because he's assocaited with roundhouse kicks and it would be funny to see someone roundhouse a 5 year-old (If a bit sick).
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I agree, mostly because Internet Chuck Norris humor is not as funny as it thinks it is.
 
slimjim said:
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.

- You are not allowed to touch a wall.

- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

- You're fighting them all at once.

- Don't say "OH I would never hit a 5 year old." Lets say hypothetically it's the end of the world in these are evil rapid zombie 5 year olds out for your life...so no holding back

Now with that being said i could take out a good 60+ before i am completely burned out and a **** load swarm me.
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What an odd thread to start....

320, easy

My death clones would deal with them
 
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