Dissapointment Theatre

[Steve GMan]

I didnt understand it the first time i watched it, but i did the second or third time. It does make sense It's a very clever movie

Thanks, maybe I'll give it another try then. You have a very trustworthy face.

I have to say that every Stanley Kubrick movie that I've seen has disappointed me:
-Full Metal Jacket: I liked the beginning a lot but once they got out of basic training the movie just seemed drag on.
-Clockwork Orange: Another case where I liked it, but it wasn't the masterpiece that everyone was making it out to be.
-Eyes Wide Shut: I'm a man who likes his nudity, but even this was making me blush.

 

[ourchair]

Another big disapointment was A History of Violence. It wasn't terrible, but it certainly doesn't deserve to be the best reviewed movie of this year. I went in expecting another Sin City, and I tell you, it wudn't no Sin City.

Uh... you weren't supposed to expect Sin City.

I'm pretty sure not a single bit of marketing on the distributors part intended anyone to think of this as a Sin City-esque movie, unless a brief mention of Sin City was used to compare it to another black-and-white comic turned artsy thriller flick. Even the trailer steers clear of this misconception.

And if you thought Donnie Darko was weird, try watching Eraserhead or any of David Lynch's other movies.

Incidentally, I remember one filmmaker saying that once any of David Lynch's movies begin to make sense... the appeal is lost. Don't question his work, just absorb it. Maybe even while you're stoned, if you like.

Oh and anybody who says they understood everything in Mulholland Drive upon first viewing is a ****ing liar.

 

[Planet-man]

Thanks, maybe I'll give it another try then. You have a very trustworthy face.

I have to say that every Stanley Kubrick movie that I've seen has disappointed me:
-Full Metal Jacket: I liked the beginning a lot but once they got out of basic training the movie just seemed drag on.
-Clockwork Orange: Another case where I liked it, but it wasn't the masterpiece that everyone was making it out to be.
-Eyes Wide Shut: I'm a man who likes his nudity, but even this was making me blush.

Oh don't get me started on Kubrick. I have this friend who's the world's biggest Kubrick fan. He's damn near insufferable to talk to about movies because he'll never shut up about Full Metal Jacket and Clockwork.

2001: A Space Oddessy is one of the most retarded films I've ever seen. Sorry, but there's nothing "deep" or "artistic" about a twenty minute shot of a white hallway with the constant noise of an air filter. The HAL plot was good, but everything else was almost unbearable.

 

[Ice]

2001: A Space Oddessy is one of the most retarded films I've ever seen. Sorry, but there's nothing "deep" or "artistic" about a twenty minute shot of a white hallway with the constant noise of an air filter. The HAL plot was good, but everything else was almost unbearable.

Is that the one where for like the first 5 billion hours was just black screen with music?

Cuz, damn, I wanted to shoot myself when we were showed that in high school.

 

[Bass]

Uh, Jack was the protagonist. He had much more screen time than Bloom, anyway.

Screen time does not always tell you who the protagonist is. The reason Bloom is the protagonist is this - he is the young rookie who goes on an adventure, he is discovered to be "The One" and has the code for the MacGuffin, also he has a love interest with the Knightely woman. The story is actually a group protagonist, Bloom, Knightely, and Sparrow. I'm saying - **** the other two, it should've just been Sparrow.

I also don't think Bloom's a bad actor. He's not a great actor, but not a bad one either. I think he was perfect for Legolas.

Whenever someone says "But Bloom was really good as Legolas" what they mean is "The CGI and stunts were really cool". :wink:

I have to say that every Stanley Kubrick movie that I've seen has disappointed me:
-Full Metal Jacket: I liked the beginning a lot but once they got out of basic training the movie just seemed drag on.

I totally agree. The first hour of Full Metal Jacket, with the wonderful Vincent D'Onofrio and R Lee Emery (sp?) is terrific. In fact, it haunted me for days. But only that first hour. You will note, all talk of FMJ and all quotes come from that first hour. Because the second hour just isn't very good. The first hour is worth its weight in gold, but the second hour is ignored because it really doesn't matter.

But have you seen The Shining? Really good. My favourite Kubrick film however, is Doctor Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Bomb. Absolutely brilliant. I tell you, the first time I saw that was in a lecture and I was crying with laughter. No one else was laughing - or if they were, it was very slight. My lecturer, who'd probably seen the damn thing every year, was laughing with me. We were howling when the US President has to explain to the Russian President why American nuclear bombers are accidentally on their way to blow up Russia. :lol:

 

[Steve GMan]

2001: A Space Oddessy is one of the most retarded films I've ever seen. Sorry, but there's nothing "deep" or "artistic" about a twenty minute shot of a white hallway with the constant noise of an air filter. The HAL plot was good, but everything else was almost unbearable.

Sweet Jesus that sounds bad. I remember a while back a friend of mine describing the movie as weird, then I think he mentioned something about some weird laser light disco show at the end. Something tells me I might have made that last part up, though.

But have you seen The Shining? Really good. My favourite Kubrick film however, is Doctor Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Bomb. Absolutely brilliant. I tell you, the first time I saw that was in a lecture and I was crying with laughter. No one else was laughing - or if they were, it was very slight. My lecturer, who'd probably seen the damn thing every year, was laughing with me. We were howling when the US President has to explain to the Russian President why American nuclear bombers are accidentally on their way to blow up Russia. :lol:

I've seen The Shinning, I'm going to assume that that's just as good.

I actually have seen parts of Dr. Strangelove, but I forgot that that was Kubrick. What I saw was fantastic, too. Especially when Slim Pickens rides the nuclear bomb at the end. I should give that a watch, thanks for reminding me.

"You can't fight, this is the war room!"

 

[Bass]

I've seen The Shinning, I'm going to assume that that's just as good.

Oh, dude, you're screwed. Like me, you've seen the The Shinning before The Shining, and thus, you will be laughing your *** off during the whole damn film. It's a horror, but you'll be going, over and over in your head, "No Beer and No Tee-Vee Make Home Something Something". Oh, the "Give me the bat" scene is priceless. If anything, you'll appreciate The Shinning more.

I miss the Simpsons. They were so good.

I actually have seen parts of Dr. Strangelove, but I forgot that that was Kubrick. What I saw was fantastic, too. Especially when Slim Pickens rides the nuclear bomb at the end. I should give that a watch, thanks for reminding me.

"You can't fight, this is the war room!"

"But the whole point of the doomsday device is lost... when you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world, eh?!"

 

[ultimatedjf]

I think he mentioned something about some weird laser light disco show at the end. Something tells me I might have made that last part up, though.

No, there's definitely a 5+ minute light show. It kinda hurt my eyes. I know you all hate the flick, but I'm not afraid to express my views in that it's one of my top 50 favorite films of all time.

 

[slimjim]

Serenity! It tried, it failed.

 

[Iceshadow]

For me it was:

Syriana: My friend dragged a bunch of us to see this because he thought the previews were good, I wanted to see Narnia, but instead had to sit through 3 hours of government/oil company bashing, got old real fast.

Resident Evil Apocalypse: As an avid player of the resident evil games this movie made me want to hurl. THEY MADE NEMISIS A PANSY! UNFORGIVABLE!

 

[Bass]

Serenity! It tried, it failed.

It did and it didn't.

It failed in that there was too much technobabble and that there were too many plot points introduced in the last act, as well as no clear Alliance figure head to brand as 'evil', and the reavers looked like uruk-hai.

It didn't fail in that the characters were wonderful, the setting was good, the story wasn't bad at all, it made one cheer, cry, and laugh in the space of two hours and was genuinely entertaining.

It's a good, fun film, but it's defended with too much intensity by the fans because they want another tv series.

It did and it didn't.

 

[thee great one]

It did and it didn't.

It failed in that there was too much technobabble and that there were too many plot points introduced in the last act, as well as no clear Alliance figure head to brand as 'evil', and the reavers looked like uruk-hai.

It didn't fail in that the characters were wonderful, the setting was good, the story wasn't bad at all, it made one cheer, cry, and laugh in the space of two hours and was genuinely entertaining.

It's a good, fun film, but it's defended with too much intensity by the fans because they want another tv series.

It did and it didn't.

I loved it. I thought the reavers looked more like Resident Evil zombies.

 

[selfproclaimed]

sin city...visually it was amazing...but it just left me completely underwhelmed...and i love frank miller's work...this one was just...i don't know...meh

 

[Planet-man]

Since HULK was one of the most disapointing movies I've ever seen, I figure we can continue the "Ang Lee Shocked" discussion here.


DIrishB, you're totally wrong about the "hating Hulk because it's cool" thing. I was SO excited about seeing Hulk. I was counting the days until it opened. Then, when I saw it opening weekend with my Dad(who's also a huge Marvel fan and loves the character), I was just disgusted.

During the "Hulk Dogs", I actually turned to my dad and said "This is the stupidest movie I've ever seen in my life.", and he nodded with a grimace.

The scene where Josh Lucas blows himself up, only to turn into a cardboard cut-out and vanish into flame and then the shot splits into a million different panels remains one of the most frustrating scenes I've ever sat through. What the hell was Ang Lee thinking?

The only highlight of the movie is the Hulk vs. the Army scene, but other than that it's damn near unwatchable.


Now, if you want a superhero movie it's "cool to hate", take Daredevil. The movie's a joke in most circles but I still love it8) .

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

Back to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back...

It was all the humor from Kevin Smith's movies with none of the underlying inteligence or meaning...

It made me laugh my *** off at bits, but in the end it was just his Jay and Silent Bob miniseries that I already owned (Chasing Dogma, bridging Mallrats to Dogma), without the really good parts (doogie howser directing porn films; going to Shermer, IL only to find out that it doesn't exist... Mr. Rogers giving Jay the finger... and the little kid telling his mom that his pee-pee was bigger than Jay's)...

So... yeah. Huge Disapointment.

 

[ProjectX2]

Bwahahahaha!

Catwoman!

Bwahahahaha!

But then again, that was never destined to be good, or was never called good. My mum just wanted to watch it so I sat down and watched a few scenes.

I left after ten minutes to chop my nuts off.

 

[Iceshadow]

Bwahahahaha!

Catwoman!

Bwahahahaha!

I left after ten minutes to chop my nuts off.

So you catstrated yourself? :wink:

Lord of War- Way too long with hardly any action.

Soul Plane- I didn't see it but I did see previews for it, that was more than enough.

 

[Joe Kalicki]

Wow. . . you guys are mostly all nuts. Esepcially Watcher. Cable Guy rules!

Also, I think Orlando Bloom's post-Legolas career (and I love the Pirates movies) has slightly ruined his performance as Legolas for me. I don't know for sure, I haven't watched LOTR since the Pirates sequels came out. But it would really suck if that happened.

 

[ultimatedjf]

Wow. . . you guys are mostly all nuts. Esepcially Watcher. Cable Guy rules!

Also, I think Orlando Bloom's post-Legolas career (and I love the Pirates movies) has slightly ruined his performance as Legolas for me. I don't know for sure, I haven't watched LOTR since the Pirates sequels came out. But it would really suck if that happened.

Is this including Extras?

 

[SSJmole]

Citizen Kane. One of the worst movies I've ever seen, and it's considered by a lot of elitist snobs to be a classic.

I love that film