Cool Animales
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Langsta
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Ugh I was just watching Urban Legends on the Biography Channel and they were telling the story of the fish that swims up through the urethra of humans in the Amazon River.
This story is very personal to me, as I have had some bad experiences with animals attacking my urethra as well (in my case, it was a mantis-like insect in my swimming trunks).
I saw this in the Rundown before but wasn't sure if it was true, and didn't want to wait until the end of the show to find out. So I looked online for the Candiru fish. It's a parasitic freshwater catfish, and is translucent, making it almost impossible to see in water. They have the ability to detect respiratory currents in the water allows them to swim into the gill openings of other aquatic species, where they feed on their prey's blood....In the case of male humans, it follows urine trails.
This fish is feared to attack humans and animals and swim into an orifice (the vulva, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra). Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery. The fish locates its host by following a water flow to its source and thus urinating while bathing increases the chance of a candiru homing in on a human urethra. Natives have also been known to bathe facing the current, as doing so would decrease the chances of the organism lodging itself in the rectum. Other orifices such as the penis or vagina are covered up with the use of hands.
Though there have been documented candiru attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. A traditional cure involves the use of two plants, the Jagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. In theory, these two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, infection causes shock and death in the victim before the candiru can be removed.
A well-circulated myth is that the candiru is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat. This is physically impossible as the maximum swimming velocity of the fish is opposed by the downward velocity of the urine stream, and the further impossible act of the 5–14 mm wide fish maintaining position and thrust within a 2–7 mm wide column of fluid. They are also probably not attracted to urine as commonly thought. However they are capable of jumping and entering the urethra of a man standing thigh-deep in the water and urinating. They are also probably only able to enter a human urethra when it is expanded during urination.
So yeah, it turns out that the story was false - well, according to the TV show. They said that it was only reported once. But whatever. That means the story isn't false, it's ****ing true and it's ****ing scary ****. But it turns out that a woman with multiple sclerosis can get shocked by lightning, get her feeling back, then lose her feeling, then get shocked by lightning AGAIN, and then get her feeling back AGAIN. That's only been recorded once too, ya ****tards.
So, this definitely isn't a cool animale, but it would be pointless to make a new thread called "Uncool Animales." Still, the story makes my penis quiver in fear everytime it thinks about it.
This story is very personal to me, as I have had some bad experiences with animals attacking my urethra as well (in my case, it was a mantis-like insect in my swimming trunks).
I saw this in the Rundown before but wasn't sure if it was true, and didn't want to wait until the end of the show to find out. So I looked online for the Candiru fish. It's a parasitic freshwater catfish, and is translucent, making it almost impossible to see in water. They have the ability to detect respiratory currents in the water allows them to swim into the gill openings of other aquatic species, where they feed on their prey's blood....In the case of male humans, it follows urine trails.
This fish is feared to attack humans and animals and swim into an orifice (the vulva, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra). Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery. The fish locates its host by following a water flow to its source and thus urinating while bathing increases the chance of a candiru homing in on a human urethra. Natives have also been known to bathe facing the current, as doing so would decrease the chances of the organism lodging itself in the rectum. Other orifices such as the penis or vagina are covered up with the use of hands.
Though there have been documented candiru attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. A traditional cure involves the use of two plants, the Jagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. In theory, these two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, infection causes shock and death in the victim before the candiru can be removed.
A well-circulated myth is that the candiru is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat. This is physically impossible as the maximum swimming velocity of the fish is opposed by the downward velocity of the urine stream, and the further impossible act of the 5–14 mm wide fish maintaining position and thrust within a 2–7 mm wide column of fluid. They are also probably not attracted to urine as commonly thought. However they are capable of jumping and entering the urethra of a man standing thigh-deep in the water and urinating. They are also probably only able to enter a human urethra when it is expanded during urination.
So yeah, it turns out that the story was false - well, according to the TV show. They said that it was only reported once. But whatever. That means the story isn't false, it's ****ing true and it's ****ing scary ****. But it turns out that a woman with multiple sclerosis can get shocked by lightning, get her feeling back, then lose her feeling, then get shocked by lightning AGAIN, and then get her feeling back AGAIN. That's only been recorded once too, ya ****tards.
So, this definitely isn't a cool animale, but it would be pointless to make a new thread called "Uncool Animales." Still, the story makes my penis quiver in fear everytime it thinks about it.
Last edited:
Zombipanda
My Boom-Boom's mostly gay
Langsta
Well-Known Member
I mentioned that a while back on this site. I have a copy of it on my Myspace since it's such an epic tale....
Langsta's space said:
J. Agamemnon
Well-Known Member
I went to the zoo yesterday. I saw an Okapi.
Langsta
Well-Known Member
What the **** is an Okapi?
J. Agamemnon
Well-Known Member
Ice
Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
That is really cool.Basilisk Lizard
I've always loved these. A lizard that can walk on water. How can that not be cool?
thee great one
Master of TOG-fu.
moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
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ourchair
Well-Known Member
Jesus, is that you?Basilisk Lizard
I've always loved these. A lizard that can walk on water. How can that not be cool?
Jesus could have been lizard. That would also explain the resurrection issue as some lizards leave there tails behind and grow new ones thus giving the idea that he was going to bleed to death from loosing his tail.!
They need to make the movie The Passion of the Basilisk . NOW!
ourchair
Well-Known Member
That's EXACTLY how Magdalene likes it.
Coolest animal ever :
duck billed platypus
The only reason I think this is the coolest animal is this, It essentially proves the existence of a god even to a none-believer like myself. I say a god as to me this shows signs that "God" is effectively a child playing with lego blocks to create this world.
Think about it. You play with lego and you put together what the hell is left over and that is what god did here. Part duck , Part otter , Part beaver , Part snake (for the Venomous part). It has the child birth of a bird but then lives like a mammal!
If doctor dolittle was to speak to this there would be no witty banter it would just be a duck billed platypus saying "KILL MEEEE" and trying to convince doctor dolittle to do an assisted suicide.
duck billed platypus
The only reason I think this is the coolest animal is this, It essentially proves the existence of a god even to a none-believer like myself. I say a god as to me this shows signs that "God" is effectively a child playing with lego blocks to create this world.
Think about it. You play with lego and you put together what the hell is left over and that is what god did here. Part duck , Part otter , Part beaver , Part snake (for the Venomous part). It has the child birth of a bird but then lives like a mammal!
If doctor dolittle was to speak to this there would be no witty banter it would just be a duck billed platypus saying "KILL MEEEE" and trying to convince doctor dolittle to do an assisted suicide.
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
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There's this worm, right, in the Amazon Rainforest, that can crawl into your body if you've got like a cut in your foot and you're walking in a muddy river or something. To get it out, you have to strap a piece of bacon to your braincase and it will come out looking for it because everyone loves the smell of bacon.
Planet-man
Well-Known Member
Full name: Okapia Johnstoni
Discovered by/named after Sir Harry Johnston, who is related to me.
I win.
moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
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To also respond to an old post in this thread...
The platypus is just a sort of an odd missing link between different species, specifically mammals and reptiles. The "duck bill" has nothing to do with birds. It's made out of a soft, fleshy substance and is designed to be extrasensitive to touch and smell, to help it find things underwater. For convenience's sake, it just happened to evolve into a shape similar to that of a duck's bill.
If anything, the platypus is a great symbol of how strange and incredible evolution is.
I know you're sort of kidding around here, but the platypus has been used for years by Creationists as some kind of BS argument against evolution.Coolest animal ever :
duck billed platypus
The only reason I think this is the coolest animal is this, It essentially proves the existence of a god even to a none-believer like myself. I say a god as to me this shows signs that "God" is effectively a child playing with lego blocks to create this world.
Think about it. You play with lego and you put together what the hell is left over and that is what god did here. Part duck , Part otter , Part beaver , Part snake (for the Venomous part). It has the child birth of a bird but then lives like a mammal!
If doctor dolittle was to speak to this there would be no witty banter it would just be a duck billed platypus saying "KILL MEEEE" and trying to convince doctor dolittle to do an assisted suicide.
The platypus is just a sort of an odd missing link between different species, specifically mammals and reptiles. The "duck bill" has nothing to do with birds. It's made out of a soft, fleshy substance and is designed to be extrasensitive to touch and smell, to help it find things underwater. For convenience's sake, it just happened to evolve into a shape similar to that of a duck's bill.
If anything, the platypus is a great symbol of how strange and incredible evolution is.
Huh, I didn't know that. All I knew is it looked like a bunch left parts stuck together :lol:
I also did not know that either. I assumed it actually was like a ducks bill. That's pretty cool.
thee great one
Master of TOG-fu.
Ultimate Houde
UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
Nice picture of it's ***.
