Ultimatum series discussion [spoilers]

right im a lil behind of parts of the ultimate universe because some comics i get the tpb.

so today ansolute pwer came to my house, and i havent read it yet (im reading the timeline in order) i was fliiping through and noticed that quicksilver is alive! i havent read ultimates 3 yet, but didnt he die! first of i would just say that this was set before ultimates 3 but be blatantly mentions ultimatum! so what is going on here?
 
I just read this. :|

If I were to do a 4-word review, this would be it:

"God that was horrible."

Or, I could make a it a 5-word review and it would be:

"Oh God, that was horrible."

I don't mean it was horrible because apparently some heroes died and some bad things happen. I mean, that was horrible. Before I read this, I was convinced that the Ultimate Spider-Man and Ultimate Captain America annuals were the most horrible comics ever written in the history of ever (or at least since the '90s) but now my opinion has changed: THIS is the most horrible comic book ever written in the history of ever.

The story sucks. The dialogue is crap. We're supposed to believe that "It's all connected" but Loeb can't even connect his own damn stories. Magneto has Thor's hammer but for some reason, Thor would rather make jokes and have a sparring match with his girlfriend than GO FIND HIS DAMN HAMMER THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SOURCE OF HIS POWER.

We get a huge tidal wave out of nowhere, the Baxter Building is flooded and Ben Grimm thinks it's a good idea to make a funny when he climbs to find Reed holding a limp and unconscious Sue on the rooftop. Same with Kitty Pryde. Instead of saying what a teenage girl would say in the midst of such catastrophe (and a teenage girl would probably say something like "HOLY ****ING **** IT'S A HUGE ******* TIDAL WAVE WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE OMG OMG OMG!") she tells Peter to "stop being so cute"... because, you know, Kitty Pryde is pretty hardcore being able to phase through walls. That's a world-saving power right there! Why didn't they just get her to take on Galactus? Warren Ellis could've saved time and made Ultimate Extinction a one-issue event!

And c'mon. I know the Hulk's dialogue isn't the most sophisticated, but really:

"WHY IS BIG CLOCK THING WATCHING HULK?"

Did he forget he was writing Ultimatum and not Red Hulk? I guess he just wants to make Hulk suck in both of the Marvel Universes. If Hulk were real I think he would probably say something like this:

"WHY IS JEPH LOEB MAKING HULK SUCK? HULK DON'T LIKE SUCK! HULK ANGRY!"

4th Letter already called it perfect on Doom. "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK LATVERIA?" Hey, waitaminute, wasn't Doom trapped in Zombieverse? In this book he looks like his butler forgot to wake him up at 8 sharp and have his armor and his pot of tea ready.

Who dares, Doom? I'm guessin' Jeph Loeb dares. Dares to redefine the words "suck", "horrible", "trainwreck", "WTF", "disaster" and "hack" in the same calendar year.

Seriously. Why Jeph Loeb is still given decent books and allowed to turn them into complete garbage is beyond me. What amazes me even more is the way comics media (Wizard Magazine, et al) still has Loeb on their Top 10 Writers lists, or how guys like Bendis and Quesada among others can give interviews where they actually praise Loeb's work on Marvel books this year... yet the fans are going the opposite way, for the most part, and moreso as the quality of his work just gets worse and worse. Basically, we've gone from people saying "Meh, I'll give it a try" when it was announced he'd be writing U3 to posts like this by yours truly where I'm seriously giving thought to rounding up a posse and putting a sizeable bounty on Loeb's head.

Really, I hate to be this harsh about someone's work on a comic book. I'm sure it's not the easiest job in the world to write x amount of titles per month/week/year but let's be 100% honest about this. From Red Hulk to Ultimates 3 to Ultimatum, Loeb's work is coming off like really BAD fanfic. I'll give him credit for Fallen Son. Everything else I've read from Loeb this year flat-out sucks.

To sum it up, this book is

H
O
R
R
I
B
L
E
!

I won't even rate it on a scale of one to ten because I'm not Reed Richards. I'm not sure what the lowest negative number would be. That's what I'd rate this book though.

GREAT JOB JEPH LOEB! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! only instead of destroying 616 and the UU in the same year why don't you go ahead and just destroy your own career please.
 
Willverine said:
I just read this. :|

If I were to do a 4-word review, this would be it:

"God that was horrible."

Or, I could make a it a 5-word review and it would be:

"Oh God, that was horrible."

I don't mean it was horrible because apparently some heroes died and some bad things happen. I mean, that was horrible. Before I read this, I was convinced that the Ultimate Spider-Man and Ultimate Captain America annuals were the most horrible comics ever written in the history of ever (or at least since the '90s) but now my opinion has changed: THIS is the most horrible comic book ever written in the history of ever.

The story sucks. The dialogue is crap. We're supposed to believe that "It's all connected" but Loeb can't even connect his own damn stories. Magneto has Thor's hammer but for some reason, Thor would rather make jokes and have a sparring match with his girlfriend than GO FIND HIS DAMN HAMMER THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SOURCE OF HIS POWER.

We get a huge tidal wave out of nowhere, the Baxter Building is flooded and Ben Grimm thinks it's a good idea to make a funny when he climbs to find Reed holding a limp and unconscious Sue on the rooftop. Same with Kitty Pryde. Instead of saying what a teenage girl would say in the midst of such catastrophe (and a teenage girl would probably say something like "HOLY ****ING **** IT'S A HUGE ******* TIDAL WAVE WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE OMG OMG OMG!") she tells Peter to "stop being so cute"... because, you know, Kitty Pryde is pretty hardcore being able to phase through walls. That's a world-saving power right there! Why didn't they just get her to take on Galactus? Warren Ellis could've saved time and made Ultimate Extinction a one-issue event!

And c'mon. I know the Hulk's dialogue isn't the most sophisticated, but really:

"WHY IS BIG CLOCK THING WATCHING HULK?"

Did he forget he was writing Ultimatum and not Red Hulk? I guess he just wants to make Hulk suck in both of the Marvel Universes. If Hulk were real I think he would probably say something like this:

"WHY IS JEPH LOEB MAKING HULK SUCK? HULK DON'T LIKE SUCK! HULK ANGRY!"

4th Letter already called it perfect on Doom. "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK LATVERIA?" Hey, waitaminute, wasn't Doom trapped in Zombieverse? In this book he looks like his butler forgot to wake him up at 8 sharp and have his armor and his pot of tea ready.

Who dares, Doom? I'm guessin' Jeph Loeb dares. Dares to redefine the words "suck", "horrible", "trainwreck", "WTF", "disaster" and "hack" in the same calendar year.

Seriously. Why Jeph Loeb is still given decent books and allowed to turn them into complete garbage is beyond me. What amazes me even more is the way comics media (Wizard Magazine, et al) still has Loeb on their Top 10 Writers lists, or how guys like Bendis and Quesada among others can give interviews where they actually praise Loeb's work on Marvel books this year... yet the fans are going the opposite way, for the most part, and moreso as the quality of his work just gets worse and worse. Basically, we've gone from people saying "Meh, I'll give it a try" when it was announced he'd be writing U3 to posts like this by yours truly where I'm seriously giving thought to rounding up a posse and putting a sizeable bounty on Loeb's head.

Really, I hate to be this harsh about someone's work on a comic book. I'm sure it's not the easiest job in the world to write x amount of titles per month/week/year but let's be 100% honest about this. From Red Hulk to Ultimates 3 to Ultimatum, Loeb's work is coming off like really BAD fanfic. I'll give him credit for Fallen Son. Everything else I've read from Loeb this year flat-out sucks.

To sum it up, this book is

H
O
R
R
I
B
L
E
!

I won't even rate it on a scale of one to ten because I'm not Reed Richards. I'm not sure what the lowest negative number would be. That's what I'd rate this book though.

GREAT JOB JEPH LOEB! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! only instead of destroying 616 and the UU in the same year why don't you go ahead and just destroy your own career please.
Click to expand...


So your saying you didn't like it?
 
Last edited:
I think he was being sarcastic. I'm pretty sure he wears a "I :heart: Ultimatum" t-shirt over the big tattoo of Loeb on his chest.
 
See... sarcasm would work if I were to say something like "Preacher is the worst series ever made, bar none. Garth Ennis sucks so bad I had to read this entire series just to figure out how much I hated it."

But this... no. This is hatred. I could join the Red Lanterns with all the hatred I have for Jeph Loeb (or at least, Jeph Loeb's work) right now.
 
Willverine said:
See... sarcasm would work if I were to say something like "Preacher is the worst series ever made, bar none. Garth Ennis sucks so bad I had to read this entire series just to figure out how much I hated it."

But this... no. This is hatred. I could join the Red Lanterns with all the hatred I have for Jeph Loeb (or at least, Jeph Loeb's work) right now.
Click to expand...

The anger eventually fades away if you stop reading it.
 
Last edited:
Willverine said:
See... sarcasm would work if I were to say something like "Preacher is the worst series ever made, bar none. Garth Ennis sucks so bad I had to read this entire series just to figure out how much I hated it."

But this... no. This is hatred. I could join the Red Lanterns with all the hatred I have for Jeph Loeb (or at least, Jeph Loeb's work) right now.
Click to expand...

Methinks you doth protest too much...

Willverine sitting in a tree!
Reading Jeph L-O-E-B!
 
Bass said:
Methinks you doth protest too much...

Willverine sitting in a tree!
Reading Jeph L-O-E-B!
Click to expand...

Stop teasing.

mike3717 said:
The anger eventually fades away if you stop reading it.
Click to expand...

I'm not going to stop reading it, but I'm definitely not going to pay to read it anymore. That fades the anger a little bit... but just knowing that this is happening is reason enough to be angry.
 
Willverine said:
Stop teasing.
Click to expand...

bass4tcsp8.jpg
 
Willverine said:
I'm not going to stop reading it, but I'm definitely not going to pay to read it anymore. That fades the anger a little bit... but just knowing that this is happening is reason enough to be angry.
Click to expand...

I stopped. I figured since it is awful there is no reason to keep reading. Even for free it isn't worth it. Especially since all it does is sh*t all over what were once great comics.

There are a lot of books out there that I enjoy. I figure I stick to them and then there is no anger in my beloved hobby.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Back
Top