Victor Von Doom
Fist of teh Internets.
I have returned.
I hate that I've been away for so long, but life kinda demanded it. Had my son a few years back...me and his mother split when he was like 3 months...then had to leave for deployment when he was only like 6 months old. While deployed, a woman I was with left me and got rid of my dog (The Captain) and when I came back from deployment, my son's mother was stationed halfway across the country. I couldn't just get reassigned there, so I opted for the only option to be close to my boy---I volunteered for another long deployment so I could have the choosing of being moved near him. I got the deployment---downside was that I had to wait a year before I could actually leave for it. So I spent a whole year living alone in a tiny one-bedroom apartment...and scrounging up any spare money I could gather to continually buy plane tickets to go see him.
During that lonely year---I kinda went insane, shell-shocked, whatever you want to call it. I basically became a hermit. I cancelled my internet and cable and other random luxuries and would spend most weekends holed up in my place. I'm talking leave work Friday afternoon and not stepping outside or speaking a single syllable to another human until Monday morning when I walked into work. I'm sure that if a plague wiping out anything with a Y chromosome had hit, I'd have survived. Maybe. I didn't exactly have monkey poo in the air to help inoculate me. But yeah....I kinda just flicked off. The only thing I had was the mission and my upcoming deployment.
The deployment in itself wasn't bad. Obviously a couple scrapes with the "enemy". Others had never had deployments like this and were understandably scared and panicked....meanwhile I welcomed combat like something outta a Garth Ennis MAX title. You can't begin to imagine how much I identify with his Nick Fury "My War Gone By" series. But I spent a lot of time there alone on an Afghanistan mountain-top playing lookout or overwatch positions. For others, it was like torture...like solitude in prison. But for me the quiet loneliness was calming and gave me a new perspective I needed. I sought some more professional counseling and "got better". Unfortunately, my son's mother couldn't deal with it and as soon as we ended our "long distance romantic relationship" she, more or less, cut me outta my son's life. And as much as I love him and hate her...I don't blame her too much cuz I was dealing with some stuff that wasn't exactly healthy for my boy. And sure I'm "better" now...and get to Skype with him, but it's gonna take a lot to earn my way back into his life. And I say this, publicly, with much shame...he deserves much more from me and I shouldn't have had these issues in the first place. But it is what it is and I'm better now.
I've worked on becoming social again for the last 2+ years and got a good woman in my life, a future stepson who thinks I may actually be Batman and have another son on the way. As a couple of you've seen...I now have even gone as far as actually getting a Facebook account.
So yeah......I'm back......
I hate that I've been away for so long, but life kinda demanded it. Had my son a few years back...me and his mother split when he was like 3 months...then had to leave for deployment when he was only like 6 months old. While deployed, a woman I was with left me and got rid of my dog (The Captain) and when I came back from deployment, my son's mother was stationed halfway across the country. I couldn't just get reassigned there, so I opted for the only option to be close to my boy---I volunteered for another long deployment so I could have the choosing of being moved near him. I got the deployment---downside was that I had to wait a year before I could actually leave for it. So I spent a whole year living alone in a tiny one-bedroom apartment...and scrounging up any spare money I could gather to continually buy plane tickets to go see him.
During that lonely year---I kinda went insane, shell-shocked, whatever you want to call it. I basically became a hermit. I cancelled my internet and cable and other random luxuries and would spend most weekends holed up in my place. I'm talking leave work Friday afternoon and not stepping outside or speaking a single syllable to another human until Monday morning when I walked into work. I'm sure that if a plague wiping out anything with a Y chromosome had hit, I'd have survived. Maybe. I didn't exactly have monkey poo in the air to help inoculate me. But yeah....I kinda just flicked off. The only thing I had was the mission and my upcoming deployment.
The deployment in itself wasn't bad. Obviously a couple scrapes with the "enemy". Others had never had deployments like this and were understandably scared and panicked....meanwhile I welcomed combat like something outta a Garth Ennis MAX title. You can't begin to imagine how much I identify with his Nick Fury "My War Gone By" series. But I spent a lot of time there alone on an Afghanistan mountain-top playing lookout or overwatch positions. For others, it was like torture...like solitude in prison. But for me the quiet loneliness was calming and gave me a new perspective I needed. I sought some more professional counseling and "got better". Unfortunately, my son's mother couldn't deal with it and as soon as we ended our "long distance romantic relationship" she, more or less, cut me outta my son's life. And as much as I love him and hate her...I don't blame her too much cuz I was dealing with some stuff that wasn't exactly healthy for my boy. And sure I'm "better" now...and get to Skype with him, but it's gonna take a lot to earn my way back into his life. And I say this, publicly, with much shame...he deserves much more from me and I shouldn't have had these issues in the first place. But it is what it is and I'm better now.
I've worked on becoming social again for the last 2+ years and got a good woman in my life, a future stepson who thinks I may actually be Batman and have another son on the way. As a couple of you've seen...I now have even gone as far as actually getting a Facebook account.
So yeah......I'm back......
