Thank you Seldes, but I don't mind the comments, hence why I posted it in it's own thread, for speculation and what not. But, here it begins....
UC: STUCK
The steamboat plodded merrily along the Mississippi, going it's fastest, a surprising 5 miles an hour. It was full of people, people of all types, all kinds, from all different type of backrounds. Two of these people sat on the lounge chairs on the decks, one was a New Zealander, and the other was an American. Both were lounging on the chairs sipping a drink, probably alcoholic because of all the umbrellas in it, and were engaging in some light conversation.
Maybe I should explain why all these people were on a Steamboat?
Naw, I'll let the story do that for you.
The American looked over to the New Zealander.
American: Name's Houde. Yours?
New Zealander: Project.
Houde: Pleased to meet you, wonderful weather, isn't it?
Project: You know, that every year, one half of all Steamboats crash in the Mississippi?
Houde: Um....usually people answer that question with yes it is, or, no it isn't.
Project: I'm just saying, we shouldn't be above deck.
Houde: Hey, I didn't drag you out here.
Project: Did you know, these small umbrellas in drinks are laced with a narcotic so you drink more of them?
Project then takes another sip of his drink.
Houde: Dude, do you listen to yourself?
From down the hall, a door slammed open and and a stocky, well built black man walks out wearing a black bullt proof vest, and black jeans. He looked at the two people on the deck.
Black Man: Hey, you brah's seen this person around?
He holds up a picture of some white guy with a goatee.
Houde: Wait, did you call me a bra?
Black Man: Answer the Question brah.
Project: Can't say we have...um person.
Black Man: VVD, bounty hunter.
Houde: Cool, where's your gun?
VVD: I go with God brah, I carry a can of bear mace.
Houde: Oh...
Then, they hear the sound of someone singing, it turns out to be a man, dressed in red clothes, singing to himself, obviously drunk.
MWoF: I've had, the TIME OF MY LIFE! AND I NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE!
VVD: Is he singing a song from Dirty Dancing?
Houde: I think so.
Project: Do you guys hear that?
VVD: The horrible notes?
Houde: Wait, it sounds kinda like surf...
The three of them look out, and they see a wave heading for them.
Project: SEE! I TOLD YOU WE WERE ALL GONNA DIE!
Houde: CRAP!
Sploosh
A TV is turned on in blackened room, a news report stated how a steamboat, on it's maiden voyage, disappear after a freak tsumani ran up the Mississippi river. Everyone is baffled at it's disappearance.
Three figures watched it.
One of them shut the TV off, a goatee was seen in the flickering light.
Figure 1: Crap, I shut off the TV. Where's the damn light switch, I hate it when we try to be all mysterious and stuff.
Figure 2: You do this all time!
Figure 3: Goddamnit, I hate all of you.
Figure 1: Crap, when we find the door, you guys know what to do, okay?
Figure 2: Yeah, lists and all that, I got ya.
Figure 3: Guys, can I bang one of the hot chicks?
Figure 2: You always bang one of the hot chicks
Figure 1: AH! I just stepped on something! I'm never being onimous again!
Meanwhile....
Houde opened his eyes, he felt odd, strange, like he should be dead, but wasn't. The air was different, tropical, the sounds of surf told him he was on a beach...
MWoF: No one puts baby in the corner!
And obviously, the drunk was okay. Houde got to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck, and saw the propellor of the steamboat about to fall down.
Houde: YOU! MOVE! QUICKLY!
Lil Kis: Wot big boi?
The propellor fell, slowly, and crushed Lil Kis.
Houde: Oh gawd, the humanity.....
Project: Houde, you a doctor, we have wounded! We need help!
A glint of sunlight hit Houde, as he heroically looked at Project to proclaim...
Houde: I faint at the site of blood...
and then he fainted.
